...to start moaning mn career mums - the sequel..

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

... because the old one filled up before I could say this to HoneyDragon:

HoneyDragon - despite the home-made shepherds pie evidence to the contrary, I am a bloddy neglectful parent too. I haven't immaced my children or dyed them blue, but I did let ds1 eat tortilla chips out of the bin, because it had stopped him tantrumming, and I didn't want him to start again. Oh, and he got stuck in the catflap once, and I didn't realise straight away.

[firemansamisnormansdad]

I haven't given my eldest child much attention since her baby brother was born. I woke up this morning and my 9 year old girl is suddenly 14 and doing her GCSEs.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

At the stage when all three of mine needed supervision and help to get through the breakfast-and-dressing-for-school rigmarole, and still needed walking to school, I was woken up one morning by the overhead light going on in my bedroom. As the alarm hadn't gone off, I assumed it was early, and snarled said "Put the light OUT!" The light went out, and after a couple of seconds of silence, ds1 said tentatively - "It's 8.17, mum - shall I put the light back on?" As we had to leave the house at 8.25am to walk to school, I concurred - and shot out of bed and into my clothes, and went downstairs to find them all breakfasted and ready for school - we weren't even late.

[BettySuarez]

fire

[catgirl1976]

I missed the first thread!

Was the gist that I am a bad mother as I dump DS in a day orphage and skip off to work each day or have I misconstrued the title?

[ATailOfTwoKitties]

S'OK, Catgirl. I think you could probably write the thread without help from the OP!

[ShamyFarrahCooper]

ds went to school in black skinny jeans today (he's 5, in p1). It's wednesday and he had no clean school trousers. DH & I frantically searched his cupboards whilst trying to figure out how we only had 2 days of clean trousers, whilst double checking the ones he wore yesterday and Monday absolutely could not be sprayed with febreeze. They were all covered in who-knows-what.

[catgirl1976]

Ahhhhhhhhh.....

Why did I bother to have kids etc?

SAHMS are lazy? WOHMs are selfish?

Nurserys are evil?

I like those threads.

[catgirl1976]

I found DS playing with the Calpol bottle the other day :(

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

That was pretty much it, catgirl. Plus the fact that you are not allowed to moan about it because it was your choice to neglect your child in this way, and frankly you should downsize (despite the fact that, as I pointed out to the OP, downsizing is not that easy, and costs several thousands of our fine British pounds).

Oh - and the OP gave up her career to look after her child, and to make sure her house is always clean and her dh has a home cooked meal every night - because their marriage is so blessed that he is happy to support her to do this.

But her career was managing one of her daddy's companies, and it is fair to assume that, when she wants to go back to work, she will be going back to work for daddy again - a somewhat privileged position, not shared by most women, as I also pointed out to the OP.

Annoyingly, she didn't acknowledge any of my great wisdom!

Now, off you go back to your selfish career whilst your poor child is sent up chimneys or locked in cupboards to facilitate your meteoric rise.

[Binkyridesagain]

DS2 fell out of the top bunk and banged his arm, I did the 'is it broken? Is it bleeding' routine, he seemed fine. A week latter i noticed that his arm was at a funny angle, had it x-rated, it was broken. I blame him though, he didn't tell me it was broken!
Same DS when he was 3, we came home and I left him to take his coat off whilst did a loo dash. I heard an almighty scream, rushed downstairs to find DS on floor with his mouth pouring with blood. He had got his arms stuck, tripped up on nothing and smacked his chin on the floor. The result was a broken jaw, poor thing could only eat very soft foods for 6 weeks.

Can I have a bad mother medal please?

[Hayleyh34]

Ah but I am extra evil. I adopted a child and went back to work full-time, I will be struck down!

[ATailOfTwoKitties]

Binky, I have a zero success rate at telling broken from non-broken limbs.

Toddler DS: fall from toddler climbing frame, still attempting to go back up: broken leg
Baby DD: woke up crying in pram: broken arm [GP thought 'she'd slept on it awkwardly' -- still baffled by that one!]
Toddler DD again: fell over on lawn: broken arm
10-yr-old DS2: judo accident, rushed over to hosital at instructor's urgent call: nothing broken at all
13-yr-old DS: terrific crash at ice rink, white faced, unable to breathe: nothing broken at all

That's why they have X-ray machines I think.

[RandallPinkFloyd]

Oh my god this thread is the funniest thing I've ever read!

It's like I've come home.

5mo DS pinged off the bed, cue hysterics, tearful snotty (mine) trip to a&e, self indulgent thread on here, faces from doctors as completely unmarked DS grinned at them. I vowed to never be so neglectful again.

The next day I dropped him on the kitchen floor.

He had a massive egg on his head when I kicked him over and he went flying into the door frame. In my defence the doorway is a stupid place to sit.

He got his first black eye from falling eye first into the corner of my chair. Again not my fault as 5yo dniece was meant to be looking after him whilst I ate cake.

My finest hour though would have to be spending ages trying to calm him down in his high chair when he was in hysterics in his highchair. I'd given him his favourite food and had no idea why he was so upset.

In the end I got a bit cross and said fine, get down then but you're not having anything else.

His skin was caught in the plastic snap-fasten buckle thing it must have hurt like a bastard

[Binkyridesagain]

DD(20) has MS. When she relapses she loses the use of her limbs. It's tends to happen without notice and she just collapses on the floor in a heap.
DH and I went out for the day, returned home to find the house unlocked and empty, DD had collapsed in the bathroom, passed out as she went down and was led behind the door, rescue involved paramedics climbing in through the window and rescuing her, because of the circumstances she had to be taken to a&e.
We went up to find out if she was ok, she was just unable to move, as you all know a&e is a very boring place, especially when waiting for results, so DH and I decided to entertain ourselves, playing pat a cake pat a cake with DDs useless arms. The doctor didn't look impressed when he popped his head the curtain.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I think it is probably just as well Jenna hasn't come to this thread - she would faint at all the stories of neglect on here!

Her house is definitely cleaner and tidier than mine - but I prefer life on the Dark Side with you lot!

[RandallPinkFloyd]

Oh my house is immaculately clean.

It's practically made of sharp edges and corners though

This is not helped by the fact that DS tends to put his face out to stop himself if he falls

(It has to be clean. I have 2 cats and a dog and DS likes to pick things up off the floor and eat them)

[ChazsBrilliantAttitude]

Randall
Your story reminds me of DS1 howling when DH put his bike helmet on before he went in the toddler seat on the bike. DH was telling him not be so silly until we noticed DH had pinched the skin under DS's jaw in the clip of the helmet. The mark took a couple of days to fade.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

I have two dogs and a cat, and my house is pretty much carpeted with dog hair. It will get better this week, though, as MIL is coming to visit. Not that I have to clean up for her - she says she would rather help me clean than have me fret about it before she comes - but when I am expecting visitors is the only time the hoover makes an appearance.

So that's me off Jenna's christmas card list.

[catgirl1976]

My house is clean as I have a cleaner and DH gets a lovely cooked meal every night simply by selecting a takeaway menu from the kitchen drawer

Am an excellent wife

[Hayleyh34]

My DH gets a lovely homecooked meal every night by cooking it himself!

[RandallPinkFloyd]

STDG I feel your pain. When DS first learnt to roll over he took on the function of a lint roller!

The problem now is mainly that when I get him out of his high chair him and the dog race to eat the dropped crumbs

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

We didn't have a dog at the high chair stage - now we have a lab and a lab cross who would catch any crumbs before they even hit the floor.

I once wondered why ds1 had gone so quiet in his highchair, whilst eating his lunch, so wandered out of the kitchen to find him fast asleep, pillowed on a marmite sandwich!

[Sunnywithachanceofshowers]

I am howling at this thread. And I don't even have children!

I was briefly a bad assistant Brownie leader. One of the girls had a habit of screaming loudly when excited, so I shouted at her to be quiet. Then realised that she'd tripped over and her nose was bleeding profusely...

[RandallPinkFloyd]

Aww, sandwich pillow, nice and soft!

For some reason the dog is beautifully obedient when DS is eating and salivates from a polite distance. Unfortunately as soon as I lift him out all bets are off!

I once sat transfixed as DS picked something off the dog's back and ate it. I've convinced myself he was just pretending.

[Anniegetyourgun]

So you're saying it only counts as smacking their heads on the door frame if there's blood and/or bruising? Phew. In that case I never bumped any of my babies' heads on any door frames.

I suppose on that basis DS4 never did a back-flip off my arm and plunged head first onto the floor in AllSports either But you would have thought from all those customers' judgy faces that he had.