to think a school party based on Cinderella is sexist and hardly positive promotion of women?

[NewNameForThisThreadOnly]

I've name changed as this will out me.

DD's teacher read Cinderella as the class book last week. She is in Reception. I shuddered when she told me as I'm not a fan of stories where women are judged on their looks (ugly stepsisters, pretty Cinderella) and need to be rescued by a man.

Anyway, one week of reading a book that is morally questionable isn't going to hurt dd so I didn't say anything when the teacher told me at parents evening.

However, dd1 has come home today with a letter informing of a 'Fairytale ball' and the children are encouraged to go dressed as a fairytale character. When I read this, I thought ok, we can try and pick a positive role model for her to go as. However the letter also says the Ball is based on their Cinderella week and on the letter is a picture of (what I think is) the Disney prince and princess from Cinderella in all their finery holding hands. So dd (who has never had any inclinations towards pink and princess tat) now wants only to dress up as a princess and I quote "get married and live happily ever after" [anger]

Honestly I never thought I would be this annoyed but the more I think of it, the more disappointed in her (very nice) teacher . Am I in a time warp? Is this 1974? Shall I just tie dd to the sink now and tell her the brains in her head count for nothing and the way she looks and getting married are all that are important in life?

I'm trying to raise a strong and independent woman. I understand that playing with a barbie and dressing as a princess doesn't prevent me from doing that. But I really don't expect the school to be promoting those outdated ideals.

I am fully prepared to accept IABU, and I actually hope I am so I can let this go, but surely in this day and age they could have found a story where boys and girls are equal and looks don't come into it.

So AIBU? If so, why? If not, would you mention it at school?

[scarlettsmummy2]

This would really annoy me too. My daughter is a similar age at an all girls school and they definitely wouldn't be doing this.

[showtunesgirl]

If you want to REALLY turn fairytales on their heads, I would suggest watching the musical Into the Woods.

[Fairyegg]

Your reading to much into it, your dd will read/be read many different type of books, this is just one of many.

[JakeBullet]

Send her as the Fairy Godmother...a woman who makes things happen.

[dementedma]

Talk of brainwashing and affecting girls' lives is absolute bollocks - if I may use such an obviously masculine term. How many of the women on here protesting about this, read these stories as children but have grown up challenging and questioning things? If you are parents of little girls, loving princesses and sparkling things does not mean they will grow up as simpering man-dependent airheads. Mine haven't.

[Growlithe]

If as a mother you end up with a wannabe WAG, I really don't think you could say it was because your DD was read Cinderella in school when she was 4.

[Floggingmolly]

It's a fairy tale written in the 1600's.
It's not about the role of women in society. Get over yourself, you're being ridiculous.

[PeppermintPanda]

I agree with you OP. I'd be inclined to send her in this and a tutu.

[Thisisaeuphemism]

I would be disappointed with the school. The party theme is Unimaginative and limiting.

[Arcticwaffle]

I would be annoyed. I might even complain to the school. But actually, my little girls would probably want to go as rats or pumpkins and I wouldn't mind that.

[GhostShip]

OH FFS.

I've actually heard it all now.

Stop trying to psychobabble something that doesn't need to be that complicated. A little girl pretending to be a princess isn't going to do her or anyone else any harm. It isn't instilling any sort of belief. What exactly do you think it's going to do to her?
Kids like to roleplay. One day I'd pretend to be Cinderella, the next I'd be playing Evita (I loved the musical) Kids do that sort of thing, and whether it's because of social learning (nurture) or something deeper than that (nature), if your little girl wants to dress up as a princess there is no harm in it. Just how there'd be no harm if she decided to dress up as a cowboy, or an astronaut. Let her decide.

[Woozley]

I am a feminist but absolutely loved Cinderella as a young child and would have practically weed myself with excitement at such a party.

[Dancergirl]

Yes to what Ghost said.

OP, she's your first child is she...?

[Arcticwaffle]

you don't need to be pfb to mind princess disney crap. I think I'll still be getting het up over gender stereotypes even if I have 20 dc. I was challenging them aged 6 at infant school, and pre-children, and now with several children it still makes me want to vomit if I see a disney princess film.

[dementedma]

You were challenging gender stereotypes when you were 6? And they accuse Disney of brainwashing! Or did you work it all out by your very own self?

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I feel sorry for tHe boys in the class actually - by reception mind had long grown out of fairy tales after doing them at nursery and at home with me when younger. They would have thought dressing up as a character from a fairy tale very babyish!

I think there are far more interesting stories that could have been chosen for reception children and sounds like the teacher has picked the easy option for the theme of "traditional tales" or something. She/he probably thinks that half the class are covered for their outfit as most girls that age will have a princess dress at home, but what about the boys!

Bloody stupid story, anyway. You're telling me that Cinderella had such peculiar shaped feet that she was the only woman in the land who could fit those shoes on? I can forgive the pumpkin carriage cos magic is magic and all that but have never accepted the whole "shoe fits only Cinderella" thing. Wierd, freaky-footed creature.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

You should read, Witches Abroad by my namesake CurlyhairedAssassin. An old witch says (something like), "8 1/2 wide, that's my size". Unless by accident they pick the right house to go to first... It is all abotu stories and fairy tales. Terry Pratchett writes well about those things, and has good female and male 'heroes'.

[MushroomSoup]

kerala it wasn't an argument, just a statement. And please credit me with some sense: cigarettes actually DO kill from time to time but I've never heard of anyone living a life of down-trodden misery simply because they liked Cinderella!

[LessMissAbs]

YANBU. Its the most unamibtious sexist "fairytale" out there. It sends almost no useful message to children. You will get called all sorts of things for pointing this out, but this is the reason sexism is perpetuated.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Tpratchett, I have read that book and really enjoyed it, although I read it in my youth and don't remember details.

Just remembered my 2 did Three Little Pigs & The gingerbread man for their traditional tales project in Reception. The teacher was very imaginative - for the 3 little pigs one ds made bricks out of paper and built a little wall, and had science lessons about different materials and their properties etc etc. they acted it out with puppets they'd made I think, too. Other ds did the Gingerbread Man and did cookery lessons involving measurimg ingredients (number skills/fine motor skills), art lessons on the story etc etc. I was really impressed when I saw all the photos of how the stories had been explored and applied to different learning outcomes.

ReadingnCinderella and having a princess dress up day sounds like the easy way out so hopefully it will be a bit more involved than just prancing around in their frilly dresses/shirts.

Fwiw, ds2 is in Yr 2 and had a pirate themed day last term. Hardly good role models either!!!!

[CrapBag]

Oh for god sake. Get a grip.

Its a story, a fairytale not a fecking biography.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

TP, was it Granny Weatherwax or Nanny Ogg who said that line? Sounds like an Ogg quote!

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Excellent Little Pigs science. I must try that with DD. It was Nanny Ogg who tries to get married to the Prince. Sadly, she fails.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

I think I will go on Mastermind with MrTP as my specialist subject. Nerd.