to think a school party based on Cinderella is sexist and hardly positive promotion of women?

[NewNameForThisThreadOnly]

I've name changed as this will out me.

DD's teacher read Cinderella as the class book last week. She is in Reception. I shuddered when she told me as I'm not a fan of stories where women are judged on their looks (ugly stepsisters, pretty Cinderella) and need to be rescued by a man.

Anyway, one week of reading a book that is morally questionable isn't going to hurt dd so I didn't say anything when the teacher told me at parents evening.

However, dd1 has come home today with a letter informing of a 'Fairytale ball' and the children are encouraged to go dressed as a fairytale character. When I read this, I thought ok, we can try and pick a positive role model for her to go as. However the letter also says the Ball is based on their Cinderella week and on the letter is a picture of (what I think is) the Disney prince and princess from Cinderella in all their finery holding hands. So dd (who has never had any inclinations towards pink and princess tat) now wants only to dress up as a princess and I quote "get married and live happily ever after" [anger]

Honestly I never thought I would be this annoyed but the more I think of it, the more disappointed in her (very nice) teacher . Am I in a time warp? Is this 1974? Shall I just tie dd to the sink now and tell her the brains in her head count for nothing and the way she looks and getting married are all that are important in life?

I'm trying to raise a strong and independent woman. I understand that playing with a barbie and dressing as a princess doesn't prevent me from doing that. But I really don't expect the school to be promoting those outdated ideals.

I am fully prepared to accept IABU, and I actually hope I am so I can let this go, but surely in this day and age they could have found a story where boys and girls are equal and looks don't come into it.

So AIBU? If so, why? If not, would you mention it at school?

[NewNameForThisThreadOnly]

Greensleeves - "It's not necessary to expose little girls to this agenda as part of their education"

This. This.

Exactly what I am trying to say.

[redexpat]

I think she might be a bit young for it in reception but might be worth getting hold of a copy of Princess Florezella by Phillipa Gregory (I think). She is a princess, who doesnt want to get married, and ends up rescuing the prince from the dragon.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Growlithe just for you a <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.ca/imgres?um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1280&bih=709&tbm=isch&tbnid=iQqWJ7fziJohRM:&imgrefurl=sugarbang.squarespace.com/pop-culture/2012/5/10/male-superheroes-posed-like-females.html&docid=XWqQafJs14Pp7M&imgurl=www.sugarbang.com/storage/superheroes_posed.jpeg%253F__SQUARESPACE_CACHEVERSION%253D1336678474560&w=575&h=319&ei=zdOrUM7TDO6VjAKmtoGgDg&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=527&sig=101652942560651010940&page=1&tbnh=127&tbnw=220&start=0&ndsp=26&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0,i:72&tx=151&ty=41" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">superhero picture

BTW OP I would rather overthink than underthink.

[NewNameForThisThreadOnly]

Growlithe That's rubbish. The Superhero fantasy for boys wears off pretty soon. The importance placed on looks and finding the 'perfect hero' of a man is drummed into women for a long time after they have left childhood. The two are not comparable.

[NewNameForThisThreadOnly]

MrsTerryPratchett - That's a clever picture. Says so much.

[Viewofthehills]

Obviously you don't ignore negative role models- you discuss issues with them.
However, it is better if you lead them in the right directions and try to let them come to their own conclusions, rather than just telling them what to think.

[Chaoscarriesonagain]

PC gone mad, surely?! Why would you even think that? I think it's a cute story !

[StElmo]

Are you for real?! It Cinderella, a child's fairy tale, it isn't going to dictate how she lives her whole life. You daft hippy.

[NewNameForThisThreadOnly]

Hoping for gender equality in schools is surely a reasonable expectation rather than political correctness gone mad? Or am I really in a time warp?

[Greensleeves]

People who say "PC gone mad".... well, they generally share certain charasteristics.

OP you are absolutely right and even the wilful underthinkers know it deep down

[Viewofthehills]

Sorry- discuss issues with your children.
I don't think my DD's have any ideas of finding a perfect man. They have lots of ambitions and none of them include men.
I hope they see that their parents are equal, but have different talents and that they appreciate having parents who both have their best interests at heart and co-operate to make it all work.
At your DD's age the message you give her is still the most important for a little while longer.

[NewNameForThisThreadOnly]

Do people tag insults onto the end of their post because their comment is too poor to stand by itself?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Possibly, OP.

Bums and poo. I thought I would try it.

[Viewofthehills]

There pretty much is gender equality in schools. They can all play football, netball, dance, do food tech, metalwork, sewing, science. Where there isn't is the media and in a lot of children's homes.

[SkiBumMum]

I am with you OP. I'd had it if our school did this. It annoys me enough that they have those stupid high heels and princess dresses in the costume box. I'm in the minority though! Disney Princesses are vile and the little girls are brainwashed by them. We don't have them at home and DD gets described as a tomboy. No, she just has toys not "Girly" tat.

[NewNameForThisThreadOnly]

MrsTerryPratchett - That's a more intelligent post than some on here, although obviously that could just be a daft hippy opinion that occured in my little head

[kerala]

OP totally with you - Murderofgoths put it very well. I would feel the same. Its pernicious and it DOES have an effect. I would also feel rather powerless especially when faced with the slight majority on this thread eye rolling about over thinking. Underthinking by the school more like.

ps my DD went to a princess fancy dress party dressed as a tiger - she looked a million times cuter than all the disney clones.

[MurderOfGoths]

And this is how gender roles are left unquestioned. Dare to question and you are "a daft hippy", "overthinking", "odd", "clearly [don't have] enough going on in your little head", "PC gone mad", looking for problems and need to "get a grip".

Know your place woman.

[NewNameForThisThreadOnly]

SkiBumMum- people call dd a tomboy as well. One said it because dd likes splashing in puddles and getting muddy. I mean honestly ..

[Growlithe]

Growlithe That's rubbish. The Superhero fantasy for boys wears off pretty soon. The importance placed on looks and finding the 'perfect hero' of a man is drummed into women for a long time after they have left childhood. The two are not comparable.

The princess fantasy has worn off with my 9 yo DD. Yes, she likes her hair to look nice to go to school, but this is to do with her own self esteem and has nothing to do with looking good for boys, she would be appalled at the thought.

I really think you are doing today's girls a massive disservice. You asked earlier if it was 1974. Well, maybe in 1974 there were less strong women role models around in rl, but today's girls have greater expectations and ambitions of life than just getting married. That is because they see what is around them. Well mine do, anyway.

[MushroomSoup]

I grew up on Cinderella and similar stories. But I am a strong, independent, well educated woman.
It's just a story!

[MurderOfGoths]

I remember being described as a tomboy as a kid, then when I wore a dress got comments along the lines of "decided to stop being a tomboy then?". Because you know, it's one of the other, girl or girl pretending to be a boy

[kerala]

Mushroomsoup that argument reminds me of "but my granny smoked 50 silk cut a day and lived to 90" type comment.

[MurderOfGoths]

"but today's girls have greater expectations and ambitions of life than just getting married"

Do they? Really?

Have you missed the part where there are girls out there who aspire to be WAGS? Where a wealthy husband is a reasonable desire? Where violence/emotional abuse/infidelity are just a hazard of keeping your man? What about those girls? Shouldn't we challenge stereotypes in this new generation of little girls to prevent them following in those footsteps?

[FrustratedSycamoreBonks]

I'd rather they were read Cinderella than Snow White and the 7 dwarfs, or sleeping beauty. At least you can argue that Cinderella goes against what is expected of her and her position in society and escapes the drudgery that was her life.