Firstly she's only 3 and a half, so until very recently her friends haven't been saying things like "I like Lelly Kelly, don't you". The peer pressure element is minimal. Most of her playmates have been boys. This is purely coincidence and based on who I know and the sex of their kids, rather than some plan on my part.
Secondly, most of her character and her life experience has been shared with me. I don't like glitter, I don't like Barbies and I don't wear pink (much). Kids take almost all their cues from their parents, and especially their primary caregiver, i.e. me. She says things that I say, likes things that I like, and tries to copy me and please me a lot of the time, like most young children do with their parents. There are also lots of things I have tried to encourage her to enjoy, but which she hates.
Because despite all that influence from me, she seeks out toys and games that she knows I don't have any interest in, like Barbies and Lelly bleedin' Kelly.
Why?
If I had a boy, he would doubtless seek out games that he likes and I have an interest in too - is he doing that to please me? If so, why isn't she? Why is she fulfilling a gender stereotype to which she has limited exposure? Oh yeah, because of marketing and societal pressures. Of course.
But what pressures do you think society exerts on a two-or-three year old kid? Given her incredibly limited understanding of things, just how greatly do you think she can be impressed upon?
She only started going to pre-school six months ago, and most of the time we spent out and about as a twosome and then when the baby arrived, as three. She hasn't spent 3 years strapped to a chair watching adverts for Barbie since when she watches telly it's almost always CBeebies, which has minimal advertising and is generally pretty gender neutral.
She's young so she's only just starting to understand that there are men and women and they are different. She has never EVER been told "that's for boys" or "that's for girls" by me or any of our friends. You don't hear those words on television since, rightly, everyone would complain.
Most of the women on this forum are raising their kids, and those kids will be exhibiting behaviour that's more typical of their gender stereotype. Are the boys acting like boys and that's society or marketing or some other outside influence? Are the girls acting like girls because they are copying their Mums?
If boys act "like boys", is that down to society? Does the fact they've been raised by their Mother's mean that the Mother's feminine influence is negligible? Do kids try their best to act like the kids on TV and ignore the 24/7 influence of their parents?
I just think it's incredibly foolish to say that society and marketing are what is making my three year old act the way she has ever since she was a baby. It ignores the fact that we share over 90% of our DNA with chimps. We're animals who have evolved to have higher brain functions, but at our core we are still animals and a lot of how and why we act is down to instinct and DNA.
Otherwise what you're basically saying is that the nature vs nurture debate is happily settled, and it's all TVs fault and nature plays very little part. I really, really disagree and I think nature plays a huge part in deciding who we are.