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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think you shouldn't have to accommodate gay / unmarried couples?

407 replies

moogstera1 · 19/10/2012 09:18

Re. the b and b owners who have been fined for refusing to allow a gay couple to share a room.
From what I can gather, they are committed Christians who do not allow hetero or homosexual unmarried couples to share a room.
The gay couple deliberatly chose this B and B as they knew they would be refused a shared room and wanted to make a legal point.
They were offered 2 seperate rooms but refused.
So, despite personally not being at all religious and not caring if someone wants to share their bed with whoever they choose, AIBU to think that in their own home, they can choose to uphold their values ( which seem to be consistent as regards no unmarried couples.)

OP posts:
EmBOOsa · 19/10/2012 14:04

aufaniae It's been reinstated :( There's a petition on change.org asking Twitter to ban him

As for the op, so this couple deliberately went to a b&b knowing they'd get turned away? Of course they did Hmm

Rosa · 19/10/2012 14:12

Stilton gorgonzoloa ....nooo thank you far too smelly. My dd likes parmesan ( fresh) but she has to hold her nose until it reaches her mouth !

MrsHoarder · 19/10/2012 14:16

But in this case (unlike the Cornwall case 2 years ago) the B&B owners don't mention being Christian on their website. And I've checked on the internet archive and it didn't 4-5 years ago either.

So that's a complete red herring (as well as being a piss-poor defence)

alemci · 19/10/2012 14:55

that's fair enough. I wasn't there. That is why I asked you Narked. where were the notices. all through Britain or in say London.

The B & B looks lovely. Perhaps they are not allowed to put anything on their site about their christian faith or have they modified it since the hearing?

I agree with what Rosa is saying.

FreakySnuckerCupidStunt · 19/10/2012 15:13

And I return.

moog

In this interview - sorry you have to listen to the odious Nick Griffin before you get to their part - with the gay couple, they say that, actually, they were never asked if they were in a civil partnership and they were simply told they could not sleep in the same room together because they were gay. So, no, I don't think the couple objected to them not being married, I think that's a red herring and a way to deny that the couple are actually homophobic.

edam · 19/10/2012 15:13

did somebody call? Grin

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 19/10/2012 15:16

Hang on - are you religious and / or gay?

MrsHoarder · 19/10/2012 15:16

alemci I thought they may have modified it so I went to the internet archive (keeps a copy of every website it trawls). The wording was identical in 2008.

alemci · 19/10/2012 15:37

it's really difficult but the people are Swiss and without making sweeping statements they could be quite straight laced. Is it only GB which has this kind of legislation or do other countries in Europe or the USA have a similar Equality Act. Also they are elderly and they grew up in a completely different society and things have changed greatly.

If the B&B couple had said they couldn't accommodate the men as they were full up and made a mistake when booking would this have been lawful?

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 19/10/2012 15:40

Yes of course - unless they had entered a legally binding contract to provide a room which is unlikely

MrsHoarder · 19/10/2012 15:47

Now you're just making excuses for them. Yes things have changed, but they are required to stay in line with the current law, which is well-publisised (if only because the daily mail is outraged by it). This is is especially important if you move between countries (although Wilkinson sounds fairly British to me).

Latara · 19/10/2012 15:59

Call me new fashioned but i think YABU - other peoples' sleeping arrangements are no concern of those in business to hire out bedrooms.
If they are that bothered then why run a B&B because they're asking for trouble...

My Nan remembers being taken on holiday at the age of 9 (in 1933) by her young Aunt.
They stayed in a B&B.

Taking her young niece on holiday was the only available excuse for my Aunt to meet up with her boyfriend and share a bed with him!!
(The Aunt was forbidden by her brothers to marry her boyfriend.)

She would book in under a fake 'married' name - her fake 'husband' was actually her boyfriend; & my Nan posed as her fake 'child' (she got sent off to the beach when her Aunt wanted time alone with her boyfriend.)

Sooo glad those days are over!!!

somebloke123 · 19/10/2012 16:34

Without going over old ground (and I'm actually more sympathetic to the Christian couple than many on here), there is a bit of an ironic historical curiosity here. Not relevant to this debate but worth recalling I think:

In the olden days it was not uncommon for 2 men to share lodgings, even to the extent of sharing a double bed, and there were no sexual connotations.

This is what was behind the standard scene at the end of the Morecambe and Wise show, when they did a sketch in pyjamas together in a double bed. There were no complaints to the BBC about impropriety as far as I know.

This is immortalised in the old Geordie Music Hall song "Keep your feet still Geordie Hinny" in which a guy's sweet reveries about the girl of his dreams are continually interrupted by his bedfellow's overactive feet.

Latara · 19/10/2012 16:46

I hate to say it but i'm going to so there but wasn't Jesus born in a stable let out by an innkeeper - and weren't his parents unmarried... you know, Joseph & his 'virgin' pregnant girlfriend Mary??

So Christians should be a bit less judgey IMO.

(actually, were they unmarried when Jesus was born? Can't remember.)

Original poster
moogstera1 · 19/10/2012 16:49

Jesus and Mary were married. The virgin bit is an interpretation of the word for young girl. Not virgin in the way we use it nowadays.

OP posts:
edam · 19/10/2012 16:50

they were betrothed, not married.

I think Christians generally get around stuff like this (e.g. Mary being an unmarried mother) by either ignoring it or reacting with horror at the blasphemy of any mere mortal daring to compare themselves to Our Lord or his Mum.

Original poster
moogstera1 · 19/10/2012 16:53

Betrothal

Until late in the Middle Ages, marriage consisted of two ceremonies which were marked by celebrations at two separate times, with an interval between. First came the betrothal [erusin]; and later, the wedding [nissuin]. At the betrothal the woman was legally married, although she still remained in her father's house
all a bit irrelevant anyway as it was 2000 years ago!!

OP posts:
TheOriginalSteamingNit · 19/10/2012 16:55

If you're fussy about who you let in your house, don't make your house into a b&b. It doesn't matter whether they men in question were trying to make trouble and to be honest I'd have no problem if they were, a business can't do that.

Latara · 19/10/2012 17:01

Admittedly Mary & Joseph didn't go to a B&B anyway.

StuntGirl · 19/10/2012 17:04

Aw I thought this thread was going to say something along the lines of "AIBU to think you shouldn't have to accommodate gay / unmarried couples"...because in this day and age we don't need to 'accomodate' what should be accepted as normal.

Shame on you OP.

TheOriginalSteamingNit · 19/10/2012 17:06

If Jesus had owned a b&b, I bet he would have let gay people stay in it.

FunnysInLaJardin · 19/10/2012 17:11

Nick Griffin is great, an entirely new brand of loony, plus his eyes look in different directions.

I heard about the tweet on R4 last night when Eddie Mayer was interviewing the blokes and incredulous would be an understatement. I really hope he gets prosecuted for being hideously hideous. I also wondered whether the B&B owners were very pleased to have the BNP on side. They should be appalled what with being Christians and all.

Chubfuddler · 19/10/2012 17:19

Christians aren't brought up to think they will burn in hell forever if they have truck with sinners. Because we are all sinners and are taught to hate the sin but love the sinner.

NB I do not think homosexuality is sinful.

BackOnceAgainWithLoopyLoops · 19/10/2012 17:20

Isn't it interesting that someone else's odious views (those of one's religious leaders) are more acceptable to some people than an individuals?

Would those on this thread saying that the OP is not being unreasonable think the same if I (not religious) were to turn away a gay couple from my (hypothetical) B&B just because I was prejudiced?

Is it OK for a religion to encourage its members to be prejudiced?

Any religion which cannot abide by the laws of the land should not be allowed to be practiced IMO.

alemci · 19/10/2012 17:20

I think Mary was a virgin in the sense that she hadn't had intercourse with Joseph. Jesus was God's son so he was planted in her womb supernaturally. (If you don't believe that, no problem but i'm explaining some christians take on it) so she was still a virgin. This put Joseph in a terrible position because it looked like he had 'taken advantage of her' and they were shunned hence the stable.

So christians would say she hadn't had sex outside of marriage. Isn't that the whole point that God became flesh incarnate.

Yes you're probably right Jesus would have welcomed the gay couple into his B & B.