To go abroad for a week and leave my 16 year old son home alone?

[CrikeyOHare]

Right - so I hope the fact that I'm even asking this question goes some way towards demonstrating that I am a responsible, loving parent who cares about his welfare, and I don't get shrieked at too viciously. Although really want people's opinions.

First off - he is perfectly happy to be left. Secondly, he is an exceptionally sensible & trustworthy lad. (Taking into account, of course, that he's a teenage boy and they are all capable of stupidity at times).

I am desperate to get some much needed dental work that I simply cannot afford here in the UK. Having done loads of research, I can get it done at about 1/4 the cost in Budapest. I would need to stay there for a week.

I'd prefer DS came too - Budapest is meant to be wonderful, but he's adamant that he doesn't want to.

I am aware that, at 16, he's legally allowed to marry (with permission) and could, if he wanted, go and live in a bedsit independently - so I'm wondering if there's that much difference in him being at home on his own for a week.

We have various close by people who could and would call on him. Plus our upstairs neighbour is happy to keep an eye on him, and hold a key in case of emergencies.

Sooooooooo....deep breath....what do you think?

[Sarcalogos]

I was a responsible and reliable teen.

I had a job and was well behaved at school.

My parents left me regularly from 16.

I was terrified of the neighbours grassing me up. And my dad arranged for his friend to pop in most mornings.

I had parties, we got drunk, we ran around the garden and once the streets in our pants.

We didn't have loud music, we didnt disturb the neighbours too much (well, they never complained).

And everything was always tidy when dads mate came round. We never stole their alcohol or at least I replaced it with alchohol and I scrubbed the house clean before my parents came back.

No harm done.

If he can be trusted then let him I say, it was excellent training for me before I moved out.

[bigTillyMint]

I was a fairly sensible and reliable teen, but if I had have been left home alone, I would have done all of the stuff above. I would have sworn that I wouldn't have a party...

Infact, I did it all as soon as I left home at 18, but that was in a rented house with friends, but then it was our responsibility.

[GirlWithALlamaTattoo]

I was left for a few days at 16. I had a few sensible, trusted friends round (with Mum's permission), had Grandma down the road and a family friend to make sure I went to school give me a lift to the bus stop.

My friend and I saw our unsuitable older boyfriends, but no harm was done, and by the time my parents got back we'd cleaned the house and got lunch on the table for them.

[Fizzylemonade]

Is there any way he could go and stay with different mates for the time you are away?

He could do one nighters and then back again for a second night after a couple of days or stay for two consecutive nights. I would have a child to stay if I knew the Mum and her circumstances.

Will this be in term time or holidays? I would aim for term time.

When my mate was 17 and we were really boring and dull sensible her parents went away and there was about 8 of us who went to her house with her parents permission, we were all girls. This was 1992 and we don't know how but somehow it got out that her parents were away and we ended up with loads of people from school trying to get into the property.

They broke into the garage and put ladders up to a first floor window that was open and several of them piled in, luckily my mate had the only key to the front door in her pocket so the gate crashers couldn't let any more friends in.

We called the police ourselves and they were really good about it all, but the kids had broken a fence panel, trashed the garden in protest and the ones who got in broke some stuff in the house.

It sometimes isn't about the person left behind it is about word getting out, and the pressure to be cool and throw that party

[sparkybabe]

How about - you go, but you phone the house (not his mobile) every night, to check there is nothing going on? Ask upstairs-nieghbour to keep an ear out and if anything seems rowdy amiss, she contacts you immediately - and you phone the police?

Or at least threaten to.

[FayeGovan]

hi op sorry to hijack, but please can any mums on here help me on this thread
"Behaviour/development : desperate from advice from mums of teenage boys"

sorry to butt in

and op, he sounds like he'd be fine, I think you should go


I'm thinking of going permanently

[Frakiosaurus]

Guilt him into going by saying that you'll need him if heaven forbid anything happens to you, alone, in a foreign country which it won't, but he'll probably come with you be ause the idea will frighten him.

[WillowKnicks]

Hmm well I have a sensible teen DS but wouldnt do it I think your DS did well willow to keep it under his hat

Nah, he DEFINITELY didn't have a party, as in his own words, he's far too idle to have to do the clearing up afterwards but surely that's the point...he was left in charge of the house/pets & we came home to everything intact & shipshape, so our trust in him was/is justified.

He is, however, on first name terms with the local takeaway delivery driver now :0

[LennieT]

Does anyone no if it's illegal to go of on holiday and leave your 15year old son locked out the house for a week

[Mishmashpotatoes]

Does he have somewhere to stay?!

[birdybirdywoofwoof]

I'm going away for three days soon- Ds 16 would love to stay alone- I just...hmmm...nah! He's going to dsis.

It's a hard call.

[Shakey15000]

Zombie thread but Lennie bit more info? Where will he be??

[birdybirdywoofwoof]

D'ohhhbhh

How did it go op?

Nice teeth?

[Greenglassforvino]

I think there has to be a reason why he doesn't want to come with you. That's my negative thought. At 16 if brought up well which you suggest he has been then of course its fine to leave him. That's my positive thought. My niggle would be his friends...what are they like and do you know them? I was a very sensible girl at 17 and the opposite to drugs sex and rock n roll as there was, BUT I still had a party (2 years in a row)

[Believerofhope]

I did it (half term). Left for business for the entire half term holiday. My 16 year old was absolutely fine. He even did some chores: took the bins out, washed up etc .

[SVJAA]

My parents left me for a week while they went on holiday from 16 onwards. I had friends round and we had a drink or five, but there were no wild parties and my parents house wasn't wrecked, I made it clear that their home had to be respected and nobody was allowed in my parents bedroom, even if that meant sleeping on the floor!

[booellesmum]

My parents left me at home when I was 16 when they went on holiday for 2 weeks. Admittedly my Gran was in the house but as she was over 80, deaf and almost blind it was me looking after her!
It was not a problem and I would be happy my kids would survive a week without me.

[WLF46]

You will only find out whether you can trust him by allowing him to stay on his own. Set out some ground rules before you go, such as no parties, try to keep the place reasonably tidy and so on. You sometimes have to give someone enough rope and then see whether they hang themselves with it!

Don't pay too much attention to other people's opinions on this. Some 16 year olds can be trusted to be left alone for a week. Some "children" who are in their twenties but still live at home cannot be trusted though! It depends on your child, whether you trust him enough.

You naturally would prefer him to come with you so you know what he is up to. But the fact that he prefers the freedom of staying home alone does not automatically mean he wants to throw a week-long Skins-esque party the second you are out the door - perhaps he just doesn't relish a week in a strange country with a parent who will be under the weather (not trying to scare you! But you know what I mean, you will probably be wanting some rest after the treatment).

The fact that Budapest is "wonderful" or "beautiful" or "full of culture" (and similar phrases) might not mean that much to every 16 year old...

[JustSpeakSense]

I would not, you will be in another country. He is on the cusp of adulthood, but not quite there yet.

[LineyReborn]

Lennie

ZOMBIE THREAD

[LineyReborn]

THIS IS THE ZOMBIE RESURRECTION

LennieT

Does anyone no if it's illegal to go of on holiday and leave your 15year old son locked out the house for a week

[LineyReborn]

Yes, Lennie, that would be a bad thing.

[Degustibusnonestdisputandem]

I would have been absolutely fine & more than capable (I used to care for my grandmother in her home when I was 15, some weekends if mum and dad were away - i.e. Showering, cooking etc) it really depends on the kid!

[LottieDoubtie]

just read the whole thread - thought, that poster sounds just like me!