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AIBU?

To go abroad for a week and leave my 16 year old son home alone?

88 replies

CrikeyOHare · 27/06/2012 07:06

Right - so I hope the fact that I'm even asking this question goes some way towards demonstrating that I am a responsible, loving parent who cares about his welfare, and I don't get shrieked at too viciously. Although really want people's opinions.

First off - he is perfectly happy to be left. Secondly, he is an exceptionally sensible & trustworthy lad. (Taking into account, of course, that he's a teenage boy and they are all capable of stupidity at times).

I am desperate to get some much needed dental work that I simply cannot afford here in the UK. Having done loads of research, I can get it done at about 1/4 the cost in Budapest. I would need to stay there for a week.

I'd prefer DS came too - Budapest is meant to be wonderful, but he's adamant that he doesn't want to.

I am aware that, at 16, he's legally allowed to marry (with permission) and could, if he wanted, go and live in a bedsit independently - so I'm wondering if there's that much difference in him being at home on his own for a week.

We have various close by people who could and would call on him. Plus our upstairs neighbour is happy to keep an eye on him, and hold a key in case of emergencies.

Sooooooooo....deep breath....what do you think?

OP posts:
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2catsandhappy · 11/01/2022 18:41

ZOMBIE

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Tola39321 · 11/01/2022 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 29/11/2016 04:33

Zombie. Ffs

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DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 29/11/2016 04:23

If he's sensible and trustworthy then why not?

I lived on my own with a baby and ran a household at 16...

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Sybys · 29/11/2016 02:18

Presumably you have facility to Skype/Facetime him. You could always make it a condition that he had to video call you every night - that way you'd be able to see if there were any problems.

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PacificDogwod · 29/11/2016 00:13

The lad in question is now 20 and hopefully capable of looking after himself independently Grin

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hoddtastic · 29/11/2016 00:05

WTF, both these (the original and the sub-zombie sound 'creative'..)

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LightDrizzle · 28/11/2016 23:54

I wouldn't. He could be good as gold but it would only take the wrong "friend" to get wind of him being home alone for events to take a wayward turn.

Butter didn't used to melt in my mouth, I was a polite, mature, bright teenager who excelled at school and was always voted form rep, blah, blah. I used this background to persuade my parents to leave me for a weekend, - and invited people round and enjoyed a shagfest with a bloke I'd never met before in his mid-twenties. Fortunately the house wasn't trashed as it was before social media and in a village.

Hopefully your son is less sly than I was but you never know.

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JustSpeakSense · 28/11/2016 23:45

I wonder if she left her (now 20 year) old? Grin

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LineyReborn · 28/11/2016 23:29

Well he'll be 20 years old now, Lemon, so might not be such an issue.

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Lemond1fficult · 28/11/2016 23:28

Not sure if this has been suggested already, but if you're a bit worried he and his friends might succumb to free house madness, you could (discreetly) ring round his friend's parents and let them know you'll be away. The only way we ever got away with anything as kids was through the sweet obliviousness of our parents, thinking we were at a sleepover.

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Woody67 · 28/11/2016 23:27

My friends parents went away and her younger sister had a small party with a barbecue. Someone put the (still smouldering) embers in the bin which was against the side of the house and the house nearly caught fire. We were older than 16 though so things can go wrong even if they are older.

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MsJudgemental · 28/11/2016 23:05

I'd leave my 16-year-old DS no problem as he's sensible. If you know that your's is easily-led and can't do anything for themselves then no, but it really is time he learnt some life skills.

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LottieDoubtie · 28/11/2016 22:49

Grin just read the whole thread - thought, that poster sounds just like me!

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Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 28/11/2016 19:37

I would have been absolutely fine & more than capable (I used to care for my grandmother in her home when I was 15, some weekends if mum and dad were away - i.e. Showering, cooking etc) it really depends on the kid!

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LineyReborn · 28/11/2016 19:09

Yes, Lennie, that would be a bad thing.

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LineyReborn · 28/11/2016 19:08

THIS IS THE ZOMBIE RESURRECTION

LennieT

Does anyone no if it's illegal to go of on holiday and leave your 15year old son locked out the house for a week

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LineyReborn · 28/11/2016 19:07

Lennie ShockShock

ZOMBIE THREAD

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JustSpeakSense · 28/11/2016 19:02

I would not, you will be in another country. He is on the cusp of adulthood, but not quite there yet.

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WLF46 · 28/11/2016 18:56

You will only find out whether you can trust him by allowing him to stay on his own. Set out some ground rules before you go, such as no parties, try to keep the place reasonably tidy and so on. You sometimes have to give someone enough rope and then see whether they hang themselves with it!

Don't pay too much attention to other people's opinions on this. Some 16 year olds can be trusted to be left alone for a week. Some "children" who are in their twenties but still live at home cannot be trusted though! It depends on your child, whether you trust him enough.

You naturally would prefer him to come with you so you know what he is up to. But the fact that he prefers the freedom of staying home alone does not automatically mean he wants to throw a week-long Skins-esque party the second you are out the door - perhaps he just doesn't relish a week in a strange country with a parent who will be under the weather (not trying to scare you! But you know what I mean, you will probably be wanting some rest after the treatment).

The fact that Budapest is "wonderful" or "beautiful" or "full of culture" (and similar phrases) might not mean that much to every 16 year old...

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booellesmum · 28/11/2016 18:51

My parents left me at home when I was 16 when they went on holiday for 2 weeks. Admittedly my Gran was in the house but as she was over 80, deaf and almost blind it was me looking after her!
It was not a problem and I would be happy my kids would survive a week without me.

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SVJAA · 28/11/2016 18:51

My parents left me for a week while they went on holiday from 16 onwards. I had friends round and we had a drink or five, but there were no wild parties and my parents house wasn't wrecked, I made it clear that their home had to be respected and nobody was allowed in my parents bedroom, even if that meant sleeping on the floor!

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Believerofhope · 28/11/2016 18:49

I did it (half term). Left for business for the entire half term holiday. My 16 year old was absolutely fine. He even did some chores: took the bins out, washed up etc Grin.

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Greenglassforvino · 28/11/2016 18:46

I think there has to be a reason why he doesn't want to come with you. That's my negative thought. At 16 if brought up well which you suggest he has been then of course its fine to leave him. That's my positive thought. My niggle would be his friends...what are they like and do you know them? I was a very sensible girl at 17 and the opposite to drugs sex and rock n roll as there was, BUT I still had a party (2 years in a row)

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birdybirdywoofwoof · 28/11/2016 18:22

D'ohhhbhh

How did it go op?

Nice teeth?

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