could I be ASD???

[samesamebutdifferent]

another thread in AIBU triggered a possible light-bulb moment for me yesterday

I am 39 years old and always felt a bit 'different'; socially awkward and I always seem to have an alternative view on a given subject, than the majority.

Ive done a few of the online 'tests' and have come back as not ASD/ autistic. I have always had friends and I dont lack empathy; I have more empathy than others usually and can always see 'the other point of view', often too a fault. This is more apparent with people/situations that I am not close to e.g. news items. With personal relationships, although I am empathetic, I have less symapthy and patience.

My mind is very logical but I dont obsess about details

I remember discussing a subject with my parents one time and my mum got irrate and said, that I was just like my father-why did we always have to be different to everyone else? At the same time, we both replied in rather distressed tones that we didnt WANT to be different to everyone else. That conversation has always stuck in my head and bothered me slightly.

Im posting here rather than the SN section as I want to hear from adults that have ASD/ autism and what their experiences are; not necessarily from the parents perspective

Im ignorant of ASD/ autism/ aspergers so please excuse me if I use inappropriate terms etc

I have name changed for this

[bobbledunk]

I scored 32 on that aq test, I always come up as add on the tests as well, I remember reading about odd and going through the list of symptoms and thinking I had every single symptom as a teenager, described me to a tee....

I wouldn't worry about it, I think everyone has something in this world where all unusual behaviours, quirks, characteristics are classified as disorders now, even shyness is classified as a mental illness in the States. Embrace your difference, it's what makes people interesting.

Obviously people who are so far on a spectrum that they are having problems interacting with the world or coping need a diagnosis so they can be afforded the help they need and learn to reach their potential by knowing and understanding themselves. These people genuinely do have special needs as distinct from being a little bit different. If you are functional there is no point worrying about it.

Variety is necessary for the survival of the species, it was the autistic obsessive genius types that invented the internet, software for our computers, electricity, satellites, etc and it will likely be such a person who finds the cures for cancer, aids, climate change. At the other side of the spectrum you find the schizoid types who produce the best art, music etc.. all are needed.

[misty75]

really interesting stuff, can I just say though - apologies Kladdaka - not your fault just an ambiguous title - I think the BPD test sounds more like Borderline Personality Disorder than Bi-Polar Disorder, from the questions it asks.

[EyeOfNewtToeOfFrog]

This is really interesting as DD (7) was assessed for ASD last year. I kept thinking "there's not THAT much wrong with her - she is just like I was as a child!". Then the penny dropped - perhaps I am on the spectrum as well - rather than both of us being NT??? Eventually DD came out as borderline in a couple of areas, but not enough for ASD diagnosis.

Have just done the AQ and EQ - same result as DD: higher than average but not enough for a DX.

Thanks for posting the links & starting the thread!

[bejeezus]

Yes HHHH that's the thread! Really interesting

bobble you are right! I do spend a lot of time feeling positive about my differences. I don't know about others? I'm lucky to have met a few good friends who really 'get me' and have generally worn my oddness in quite an assertive but humourus way for the most part

But it can all fall apart if I am in q situation I am uncomfortable with

And also, it makes me weary often.

[Kladdkaka]

misty you're right. I've no idea why I wrote bipolar, even my notes say borderline personality disorder. Doh!

[quirrelquarrel]

I don't think you have ASD.
You can't be autism spectrum disorder, OP, sorry, it just grates every time someone uses it like that.

I am not a doctor but it was my Aspie obsession for two or three years so I like to think I have some sort of antenna for this kind of thing. But you can only really tell face to face after a prolonged assessment.

[JarethTheGoblinKing]

[Marks place]

[JarethTheGoblinKing]

Woah, I got 38 on the AS test

[DrCoconut]

DS1 shows many traits of ASD but the ed psyc who has been seeing him due to problems in school called in an observer from the autism team who didn't think he was far enough up the spectrum to be considered on it (though he is not "normal" either). They left it that he has a communication disorder. Since he has no diagnosis other than that there is not a lot school can do. Is it possible he could be further up the spectrum or am I becoming a paranoid parent?

[quirrelquarrel]

^ Could be PDD-NOS, where the triad is incomplete but many traits are present (although I gather CAHMS are v. reluctant to diagnose this unless it's absolutely necessary) or something I can't remember the name of. Ugg this is annoying. The most high fucntioning/borderline kind of splitting straws type.

[AGlassHalfEmptyNoLonger]

I am currently undergoing assessment for ASD, following my ds being referred for assessment. Something I found useful (along with the tests already mentioned) was this, which I found on a different site, and is a collation of articles posted elsewhere (all links included)

[notcitrus]

Interesting - I always come out as AS on any online test, but didn't think much of it as I think of myself as a geek but generally not having the huge anxiety and problems that my AS friends have.
I just did that AQ test and scored 41, while trying not to favour 'AS' type answers.

Thing is, some of the answers are skewed because I'm deaf so of course I have problems with social chitchat and background noise etc. And prefer written communication and have met most of my friends via online fora.
With the result that half my friends have been diagnosed with ASD or autism and I do worry whether I'm getting worse at 'normal' social interaction because I only really do it at work. eg a friend travelled to a party I hosted and at one point saw people knitting in the lounge and exclaimed 'wow! This is a party you can knit at?' and my reaction was to say 'there are parties you can't knit at?' before remembering that yes, most parties are different but I don't go to those. Basically i'm very sociable etc with people I like!

I've heard a theory that in fact AS people arent actually generally worst at predicting other people's responses than NT people, but that both by default assume other people will react in the same way as they do - so NT people tend to be right more often as they're the majority. Any thoughts on that kladdaka? It sounds plausible to me, especially when thinking about how the communications/PR side of my workplace totally fails at communicating with the rest of the staff who are almost all scientists or geeks and many I would bet are ASD. Possibly including me given the recent meltdowns I've had dealing with appraisal systems and management, while doing my actual job brilliantly...

FWIW I first noticed kladdaka on some threads that had nothing to do with AS and thought 'what a nice-sounding sensible person'

[Bewilderedmum]

I got 13 on the test - which is low - I think my marks were skewed slightly higher by my responses to questions regarding numbers though - I have a funny relationship with numbers - I got my new debit card rthrough the other day, looked at the number once, and its stuck in my head - just like the old one, and the one before that - and every phone number I've ever had....

Numbers to me, almost have personalities - when I was small, I prefered easily divisible numbers, like 84 - lots of things go into 84 - it feels really friendly somehow - so when I was doing sums, if the number was 'sullen' I just changed it to one I like better - took a while for the teacher to work out what I was up to! Also the relationships and patterns between numbers have meanings for me too..

But having said that, I am a HCP with a degree in psychology, and score highly on empathy, social cues, and communication, I prefer people to things, love small talk, and engaging with people and how they are.

Go figure.

[Kladdkaka]

Notcitrus you could well be onto something there. I have very little problem imagining how the aspies I know will react and can happily engage in conversation with them for hours. It's the NT people who leave me looking like . Of course this could just be because more often than not we're very 'what you see is what you get' and also very ritualised. Makes predicting responses much easier.

Tries to escape quickly, blushing with happy embarassment at notcitrus' compliment because in typical aspie fashion I don't have the faintest idea of how to respond to it properly

[foreverondiet]

I got 32. I know I find social situations difficult, and I never get jokes and I can be a little rude. I remember feeling "different" as a child, and avoided eye contact.

Maybe I have some traits. But I am aware of it, so try not to be rude too much!

DH also has some traits. But neither of us are autistic.

I also could have been labelled as dyspraxic - I have terrible coordination.

But so what - would my childhood have been better if I had these labels?

Apart from being a little obsessed about my weight (which is now at target) I am happy have good job, happy marriage, 3 great DC.

[asiatic]

I havn't read the wholethread, so soone may have already said this, but having worked in settings with autistic childen and adults it is very well recognised that any adult thinking hard about autism for the first time is likely to start beleiving they are on the spectrum. That feeling wears off as you get more experienced. All autistic behaviour is on a range from noraml to autistic ( actaully some people believe the range foes from Schizophrenic through normal to autistic) so we can all find similarities wbetween ourselves and autisitc people. Generally, many autistic traits are normal traits, but doubley intense,, and much as the scientific evidence is that autism isn't infectious, the longer you are in the company of someone who is autistic, the more they are likely to influence your responses and behaviour!

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

I definitely fits aglass description, apart from the obsession (I think, unless reading a lot is a obsession), but does it really matter if I am on the spectrum now?
I am pretty happy with my life and who I am, don't need routines.
Obviously I would like to know if there is a risk for me to affect my DDs'behaviour.

[asiatic]

If you were autistic, it would matter, I don't think you are. Saying you are on the spectrum has very little meaning, we are al on the spectrum, just like we all have a height, but few of us are medically giants.

[littlelegsmum]

I have just scored 43 and have always been 'different' . . Although i'm married with 2 dc. Everything has to be on my terms and theres never room for movement. I'm awful to live with and dh & dc must put up with lots. They miss out on events and social situations because of me and I remember being so scared of the noise at the front of the house when we were first married, that I made dh sleep in the back bedroom with me . . and when he wouldn't, i'd sleep by myself. I'm getting worse, not better and been on tablets (which are useless) for about 11 years.

[hiddenhome]

I score 32 on the AQ test. I have learnt to function in work situations, but I hate social situations and I don't take any interest in others. People are like a different species to me and I observe them and constantly wonder what makes them 'tick'. People are like ants in a petri dish to me. I would like to be a hermit, but necessity forces me out to work I get where you're coming from OP.

[lovebunny]

women with asperger aren't necessarily lacking in empathy, which is why it often remains undiagnosed.
i don't have a diagnosis, do have sensory issues, do have a daughter, son in law, son-in-law's dad and possibly my brother, dad and mum show indications of being on the spectrum. i recognised myself when learning about luke jackson. he was saying things to his psychologist about his experience, and they were exactly the same as my childhood experiences. colleagues recognised my condition when they went on asd training...then came back and announced it to the whole staff!
36 on b-c's test which you have down as AQ.

[hiddenhome]

I can feel empathy, but it seems to be more of an intellectual exercise than an emotional experience. Strangely enough, I feel that it's more authentic that way as emotions are messy and confuse the situation

[olibeansmummy]

I think anyone can diagnose themselves as autistic if they really want to. That said I'm 99% certain I'm autistic so I'll tell you my experiences. I have severe sensory issues. I cannot bear light touch even by dh/ family. I cannot use hair dryers/ hand dryers and even struggle with the Hoover due to the noise. I stare at lights/ rock side to side for comfort until I realise and stop it.

I struggle to imagine things from other people's points of view, I just can't imagine being someone else.

Socially I just don't know how to make friends. I can be friendly but I just don't know how to make actual friends. It's like a mental block. I just can't work it out. I presume people don't like me or I'm being a burden on them.

As a child/ teenager I had major obsessions, that made people think
I was weird, but I can keep them in check now.

I have a high IQ I guess, but low EQ and used to get distraught if I didn't get everything right at school. I'm sure teachers thought I was just weird but if I was a child today I'm sure I'd be diagnosed as Aspergers.

There are other things i didn't realise were autism related until I did the AQ tests but when I did them it was just 'me' down to a tee :s

[olibeansmummy]

Oops sorry that was really long!

[CardyMow]

I got 43 again. I last did it through a link on here a year or two ago, and got the same score.

Given the fact that I have a high incidence if ASD's in my family, I'm not surprised. Two of my DC have been dxd with ASD, another the school are mooting an assessment for Asperger's for, and my fourth DC is already showing some 'spectrummy' traits already at just 16mo. Even my HV (who is new, has never met my older DC, and totally unconnected to my older DC due to house move / age gaps between my DC) is adamant that he is on the spectrum, but with far more hyperactivity than the rest of them.

Hardly a surprise for my youngest 2 DC though, given my family history (Maternal Uncle and mother were adult dxd, my Dbro was dxd at 7yo, and we're pretty sure my Maternal grandad is on the spectrum too), AND the fact that the father of my youngest 2 DC was dxd with Autism as a teenager...

43 is a really high score, isn't it? . And I'm the supposed NT one in this house...