could I be ASD???

[samesamebutdifferent]

another thread in AIBU triggered a possible light-bulb moment for me yesterday

I am 39 years old and always felt a bit 'different'; socially awkward and I always seem to have an alternative view on a given subject, than the majority.

Ive done a few of the online 'tests' and have come back as not ASD/ autistic. I have always had friends and I dont lack empathy; I have more empathy than others usually and can always see 'the other point of view', often too a fault. This is more apparent with people/situations that I am not close to e.g. news items. With personal relationships, although I am empathetic, I have less symapthy and patience.

My mind is very logical but I dont obsess about details

I remember discussing a subject with my parents one time and my mum got irrate and said, that I was just like my father-why did we always have to be different to everyone else? At the same time, we both replied in rather distressed tones that we didnt WANT to be different to everyone else. That conversation has always stuck in my head and bothered me slightly.

Im posting here rather than the SN section as I want to hear from adults that have ASD/ autism and what their experiences are; not necessarily from the parents perspective

Im ignorant of ASD/ autism/ aspergers so please excuse me if I use inappropriate terms etc

I have name changed for this

[TroublesomeEx]

I also find the "people tell me...." statements difficult.

People don't tell me anything! I avoid them and don't form close enough friendships for people to feel comfortable enough to tell me that sort of thing.

I suppose I can infer the negative statement is truest given that I don't have many friends...

[Flightty]

Gosh.

People have tried to persuade me to take ADs a couple of times but I refused to. Once I did - I took one Prozac, it jammed in my throat, I had a panic attack and stopped taking them.

I have never gone near them again, because I don't think they do anything. I hate anything that gets pushed to such a degree, because I can tell there's a motive behind the pressure iyswim, and that to me = not good.

[samesamebutdifferent]

folkgirl I absolutely find it really difficult to answer the tests too!

I just got in a bit of a state with the ESD one! really really dont know which statement is true-bonkers.....i can decide on the 1 extreme -yes definitely-then think of a situattion which points to no-defintely!

haha...thats not a good sign s it?!

[Kladdkaka]

FolkGirl is your experience that you make a friend, think everything is great, and then suddenly get dropped like you're infectious, without ever knowing why? This has been my experience of other people my whole life.

I don't think I really know what 'friend' means. I have friends now, I think. But realistically, I don't think I do. They never ring me, or invite me over or include me in anything they do. If I didn't work at maintaining some contact, I'd never hear from any of them again. I guess I just don't want to admit that they're not really friends as the alternative is nothing.

[VJayazzle]

I remember when I was little if anything was out of the ordinary, I didn't like it, for example, one day I opened my school bag and there was a biscuit in there for my break but I always had an apple, so I didn't eat it, I didn't know what it was there for, it really didn't cross my mind it was for my break, I just wondered where my apple was. I remember my mum laughing at me when I told her this.

I watch now how ds reacts to situations and see me in him so much. I have mentioned this on the very rare occasion and just get a look, you know, as if to say there's nothing wrong with you. There most likely isn't.

I've been on AD's in the past, when I was depressed and couldn't cope with the world.

I've never told anyone how I feel, I have spoken to dh but only 'jokingly', I don't want people to think I'm being daft as I don't think anyone will believe me, I'm rambling now

Like I said further up, there are days when I can chat away to people, but they aren't as common as the days when I cant.
Saying that, I moved away from everything I know 6 years ago and coped with all the upheaval. I also think I've learnt to cope with my social difficulties. They do say that girls with ASD are harder to diagnose because they hide it better.
Now do I just have autistic traits or do I see a proffesional?

[Kladdkaka]

That last post was in response to Flightty's. Two posters with F names confused me as I was concentrating on chocolate cookies.

[Kladdkaka]

VJayazzle I think you see a professional if you are not coping well and need a diagnosis to help you. And having a diagnosis can be a massive help in and of itself. Just knowing what is going on, if it is autism, can be a godsend. For me it was a relief and the end of constantly failing to 'fix' myself and the beginning of accepting that this is how I am.

[VJayazzle]

I am coping well at the moment, but I am taking St Johns Wort which is helping me to cope. It's taking that step, I worry that I won't be taken seriously. I do know that if I did have a diagnosis that it would help me feel 'normal' for me, like you say. I have been on the verge of seeking help for a while now, think I will have a chat with dh. Thanks kladdkaka

[Flightty]

I'm not sure, Kladdkaka...it isn't so much getting dropped like a hot cake. It's more that people will start to look at me quizzically, when I say certain things and yes, contact kind of slows up...but I don't normally get that involved from the start. I only get very involved with people who pursue me, because it's the only safe way to get a friend. And then sometimes you find they aren't that great, but anyway, my friends are people who have chased me even though I have pushed everyone away.

I do not try any more. I manage day to day interaction at school (just) by not getting too involved outside that arena. I lost my only proper friend a couple of years agop and once again, she had pursued the friendship, I had not, she really wanted me as a friend though God knows I probably didn't deserve it.

That's how I manage things. Everyone else, i talk to when I have to, just light chatter, and then I back right off so it never gets too close because if it did I know there would be a rejection and I can't stand it.

[Flightty]

sorry by lost I mean she died. She didn't fall out with me. (thankfully)

I do have another long term long distance friend who is a bloke, that one is still around, which I am grateful for. But to start new friendships terrifies me - I just won't do it, unless they really persist. Even then I resist. They need to be very strong and very patient.

[bakerbakerfairycaker]

hmm, I just clicked on this thread out of pure curiosity.

I have always felt a little socially odd, I don't post much because people just don't talk back and I'm sick of wondering why.

I have no female friends irl, and 2 male friends, I don't chase friendships, I get sick of explaining and justifying myself (probably when i don't need to) and feel like people don't like me and find me self centred because I prefer to talk than listen.

I just took that AQ test as the link was there and it was easy, I don't think I would have found it myself. I scored 41 and I was as honest as possible.

I thought I might be 'on the spectrum' so to speak, after all, we all are to some degree aren't we? But didn't think much of it because I dont have sensory issues....except after getting that score I thought hard, and guess what, I never take my coat off, I'm very sensitive to changes in temperature, especially to cold (I despise getting a bath or shower due having to get out into the cold) and you will never see my bear arms, not even forearms, due to really not liking the feeling of air against them.

Is this a penny drop moment? or am I just being silly again?

Sorry for wading into your thread OP, not trying to hijack, just a bit scared, 41 is high, right?

[Kladdkaka]

My penny drop moment over sensory issues came in H&M as I was running my hand along the shoulders of a row of clothes on hangers, only pulling out ones that felt right. Instantly rejecting 99% of their products entirely on touch. :o

[bejeezus]

BAKER Wade in! feel free....its really good to hear other people have similar experiences

[SusanneLinder]

I thought I might be 'on the spectrum' so to speak, after all, we all are to some degree aren't we? But didn't think much of it because I dont have sensory issues....except after getting that score I thought hard, and guess what, I never take my coat off, I'm very sensitive to changes in temperature, especially to cold (I despise getting a bath or shower due having to get out into the cold) and you will never see my bear arms, not even forearms, due to really not liking the feeling of air against them.

I laughed at this sorry, simply because I am sitting here with my jacket on at work cos I am freezing.:o

Funnily enough my youngest is diagnosed ASD,suspect my middle daughter is, and DH and I have many autistric traits. My oldest daughter is NT, and SHE is the odd one out in our family. :o

To be honest-I don't actually CARE. I have managed to be pretty happy, love my family,have a few friends so I don't worry if I am actually ASD or just have traits

[bejeezus]

Ha...have just realised I ALWAYS wear a scarf
even in summer (change into a 'summer scarf' of course!)

[bejeezus]

HA..Have just realised I have slipped into my regular username
oops!

[bejeezus]

On the thread that prompted me to start this one, they are discussing a book by Lucy Blackman; where the author couldnt drive round corners /take turn offs etc. also one of the posters sys her relative doesnt like being under trees on sunny days

the reason being;

When Lucy went to university she had to choose one that didn't have straight roads as she couldn't turn around/off straight roads (or something like that - it's been a while since I read it)

the reaction she describes was identical to his, so I assume was for similar reasons - that the sun shining through the leaves broke up the ground meaning she lost her sense of her body in space

Does anyone experience those kind of feelings- I can really relate to that-I get feelings of 'not really being there' quite often. And I can be under trees but feel similar about passing railings on a sunny day-because the flickery shadow affect makes me feel weird

[HerrenatheHHHarridan]

Well this thread has been an eye-opener.

I had an autistic sibling (sadly he died very young) and have always wondered if there was a family tendency towards autism - even moreso now as I have a DS and one more on the way.

My sister and I both prefer order, disdain illogical thought and often find it hard to know what other people want us to say in social contexts (e.g. conversations about hairstyles; to me, anything more complex than 'Yes, that looks nice.' is the result of careful overthinking on my part)!

Our mother has always decried our unemotional natures and called us cold/distant, but she can be very hard to understand herself and often seems to find social situations a struggle.

Thanks for posting the test links, Kladdkaka - I scored well within the aspergers range for empathy (29) but just about in the normal range for the AQ!

I found the ASSQ test most interesting though, as I said yes to a scary number of questions.... I sometimes think that I cope better in social gatherings now only because I've learned a few tricks along the way. I was really clueless as a child!!

OP, were you initially referring to the thread about 'refrigerator mothers' and their potential ASD diagnoses? I found that really intruiging.

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

are you sure those tests can actually say anything about adults? I mean most of the questions don't really makes sense (it is missing the don't know and the don't care answers).
As an other poster says people don't talk to me usually or at least not in front of me.
AQ 33 and EQ 23, I have been called weird but I don't think I fit the profile (was looking for DH and the girls and decided to take the test).
I am much more empathic now that I am older and have children

[Kladdkaka]

They're the ones used by specialists in the hospitals here to diagnose autism in adults. I know this because being the pedantic autistic person that I am, I wanted copies of everything they did and a full explanation of how it all worked and what everything meant. :o

Funnily enough, shortly after being diagnosed one of the autism psychologists gave me a copy of a paper she'd written as she was interested in my perspective on it. It was about educating health professionals on how adults with autism may interact with them and how they should respond. One of the main points related to those seeking diagnosis was to not take offence at the fact they are likely to find fault with the tests and point out the weaknesses of the questions. :o

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

So I am not really helping my case then , at the irony!

[Kladdkaka]

If it's any comfort, I was outraged and full of indignation when I read it because that's what I'd done at my assessment too. Still don't really get why it's considered odd.

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

If I ask how many false positives there is with those 3 tests combined, do I dig myself even deeper?

[Kladdkaka]

Dunno, but feeling compelled to research it on your behalf and finding out that according to research published by Simon Baron-Cohen et al. in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, the false positive rate is 2% means that no matter how deep you dig, you'll never catch up with me. :o

[catsareevil]

Have you tried this personaility test?

If you do it and then read the descriptions of your personality type that may provide some insight. If you google whatever your type is with the phrease 'personal growth' then you wil get some web pages that detail the common weaknesses associated with your type and ways to address them.