Have spent most of last 4 weeks with baby in my arms, feeding, sleeping, passing baby to another person's arms, or with him in a sling. He has periods of being content and awake, lying in pram or on mat etc, but when tired he needs to be held and preferably fed a bit then cuddled for a bit before we can put him down.
AP principles are lovely for your PFB when you have lots of time and energy to give, but how do people manage when you have a 2nd or more? My DH is not around to help in the evenings, my DD is unwell and needs medicine, extra stories and cuddles atm, and puts up a fight before she goes to sleep. I have been feeding ds while I do story but it's pretty uncomfortable holding a book and trying to stop dd from "patting" Ds.
Am not about to go cold turkey and let DS CIO, but would love to know how people manage toddler and tinies in a kind way. I tried to swaddle DS and put him in his cot (he normally sleeps with us) this eve and I made sure to (safely) make him feel cosy with a rolled up towel and my nightshirt next to him, but after a quick feed, low lighting and music, I put him down and he went from calm to rage in about 10 seconds or less!
Do you have a clever routine/solution?
AIBU?
To wonder how people manage AP when they have a toddler and a newborn? and not much help?
titferbrains · 11/10/2011 19:51
The point of having a baby attached to you '24/7' would be if that baby and mother were happy that way. It's a perfectly valid way of caring for a child. There is no reason why anyone should have to have any justification beyond 'it works for us'. There are plenty of theories about the benefits of course, but most people do it because they want to, just like people who use a pram do that because they want to.
At the risk of being 'all tribal-like" 
, there is a very interesting article kicking around called something like 'why African babies don't cry'. It is by a woman of African heritage, raised in the UK and her choice to follow the advice of her older female relatives. She is pretty balanced about the whole thing, including the fact that there were times when things were more difficult than for other people she knew who were following a more mainstream western approach. I found it interesting from a practical viewpoint, rather than a philosophical one. My Ghanian colleague's experiences were similar and I think it is worth being aware of the positives in other cultures and their approaches.
All i can imagine ap doing is making your life quite a bit miserable and difficult and your child really clingy
I s'pose you would make this assumption if you didn't actually think about it. All 3 of mine were most certainly brought up this way (although with my 1st, the term AP didn't exist, but I was called a hippy instead 
).
They're all very independent individuals, content in their own skin and quietly confident with others. Clingy is not a word I'd ever use to describe them. Neither were they ever 'runners' and I didn't ever need reigns, nor to chase them when we were out and about.
That's the problem when parenting styles are written as formula's and sold and preached about - it brings an edge to other Mum's opinions and can cause brittle arguments. Point is, some styles suit some, others suit others. Unless babies are caused harm, there should be no room for criticism. I just wish everyone would remember that.
tifterbrains - that reminded me of how I coped when my DD was very small (and also to some extent now 
). I put on Cbeebies for DS so I was free to tend to DD, as just wanted to be held by me and if DS wasnt' watching telly then he would be trying to get me to play with him or telling me to pick him up or trying to hurt DD.
DS co-slept with us till DD came along and then we shifted him out to his own room, but in hindsight he wasn't ready to sleep on his own. Even now most days DH goes and sleeps in his bed.
I will be glad of the day when they are both sleeping independantly TBH. I don't want to go down the CC path, so it's just take it's own sweet time I guess.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
I hope that it's clear that I am not saying I am an AP parent thru and thru, I did use the word "leaning" in one of my posts because it really is nothing more than a tendency, I have no desire to become an AP bore...
I will say that I would rather not have DS in my bed past 6 months so will probably try to get him into his cot sooner rather than later, but like many of u I will be flexible on this.
But that's my point entirely OP - you've absolutely no need to justify your post, your beliefs, your values etc. Don't let anyone make you feel like you have to. You love your children, you're doing your best to find your feet. That's it.
Enjoy the cuddles 
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.