to think that things in your supermarket trolley aren't yours until you have paid for them

[jandymaccomesback]

This morning in Tesco we kept passing a womanwith a child in a trolley. We first saw her in fruit and veg, as she peeled a banana and handed it to the child. Next time we saw her the child was eating from a packet of cheese strings. Finally we saw her opening a carton of juice. All of these things came off the shelf. DH was so enraged he wanted to tell the staff, but I persuaded him not to. To me this is wrong, even if you intend to pay,and definitely gives a message to the child that she can help herslf. AIBU?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

We can't actually take DD to supermarket at all now as she has meltdowns. But when we could i had the rule that if she was really hungry I'd give her something if it was part of a pack only.

She doesn't have the understanding to wait, or the concept of paying. Bit sad that people might have been going round telling their kids that we are horrible people for doing it though.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

however...regarding NT kids, I suppose it depends on their understanding..if they can understand waiting then they should.

[WidowWadman]

All diabetics I know carry some food of the variety which will release sugar quickly with them at all times because of that.

The majority of grazers I see are families with young kids, I doubt that the majority of them have a health condition who forces them to open the cheese strings before paying.

[TheControversialJessie]

I remember being very confused, and then, very, very judgypants when I saw a family handing in their empty packets for scanning for the first time. The idea that someone's children couldn't wait until they'd finished shopping!

I was 12 at the time. I've moved on since then.

[Sassybeast]

YANBU. Adults with a sense of entitlement teaching bratty kids that if they screech loud enough they'll get what they want. It's modern society though innit 'shrugs'.

[SpectralHarrassmentPandaPop]

I do that all the time. I pay cash though so wouldn't have an issue with my card not working. If I gave a banana or something it would be from a pre-priced pack so no issue with weighing. I assume the other customers/shop would prefer for me to give my child some food from the trolley if I've run out of snacks than have them howl their way around the shop.
When I've gone to the till to hand my packaging over I always say something like 'sorry I had to open this one' and they always say it's fine and most people with kids do it.
YABU OP because it doesn't concern you at all and shops ime don't mind.

[GuillotinedMaryLacey]

It's not about having too much time on your hands or even whether the supermarkets mind. It's about letting your children know that they can't have whatever they want when they want it, it's about teaching them that things aren't theirs until they're paid for, it's about being organised and showing a little self-control.

DD is 3 and even she can grasp the idea that she waits until something is paid for before digging in.

[WidowWadman]

Im doubtful that supermarkets are encouraging this either

www.talkingretail.com/news/industry-news/grazing-and-shoplifters-costing-supermarkets-millions

When I worked at one we had bag checks at the end of the shift and damaged goods which weren't good for discounted sale were to be destroyed. If caught keeping them for yourself it was instant dismissal.

[TakeThisOneHereForAStart]

It's not the end of the world if someone breaks into a multipack or keeps the wrapper to pay at the till.

I wouldn't do it myself as an adult, unless as someone else said, there was a medical reason and I had to eat or drink something immediately and had nothing with me, but I wouldn't begrudge someone else letting their child have a snack or a drink from the shopping they have every intention of paying for.

By this token, it's not your food at a restaurant if you haven't paid before you eat, but I doubt anyone would be enraged about that.

[AWimbaWay]

I've done it, the staff didn't seem the least bit bothered and even offered to put the empty packet in the bin for me.

[Birdsgottafly]

OP does your DH only go to garages that are pre-payment for his petrol? It's the same principal. They do exactly the same in the supermarkets as they do in the garage, if your card doesn't work and you don't have cash.

[rhondajean]

Just thinking - highlight of going shopping for DD2 is the deli in Sainsburys as they always always have little plates of cheese and meat out which she can try!!

And they dont even need paid for at the end

[MrsHeffley]

Also accirding to my GP we're designed to graze,the Victorians brought in 4 meals a day in the work house -so kids getting hungry during a 2 hour shop is pretty much to be expected.

[Allboxedin]

Fanjo, I had the same with our DD a little while ago, she has been a bit better recently. I teach dd that we have to pay for things first even though she has only just turned 2, but 4-5 months ago I doubt she could consider the concept. I have been pregnant (due in a week) with a tantruming toddler and it's not quite as easy as it sounds as I am sure some of you mums know but refuse to admit grin
Before I had kids, I would have been horrified but unfortunately we all get into scenarios sometimes with toddlers when nothing seems to help. I by all means would not make it a habit but heck, to have a toddler screaming because she is thirsty and has been for a long walk beforehand,mummy forgot to buy her a drink because she has a preggo brain and is desperate for the loo - errm, I guess I would!

[sausagesandmarmelade]

Exactly guillotine

It's good to see that parents like yourselves (arion and others) still set a good example to their children and teach their children right from wrong.

This "I want, therefore I most have NOW" attitude is a complete nonsense....

[jandymaccomesback]

WidowWadman thanks for the link. Maybe won't show DH though!

[Allboxedin]

Oh and my DH does not come and do the shopping with me, I always do it myself with dd because he is usually at work so I don't have the luxury of a second person to help out!

[AnotherJaffaCake]

DS picked up a chocolate lollypop, unwrapped it and ate it without me realising recently. All I had left to hand over at the checkout was a scrunched up piece of foil . Fortunately the lady on the checkout was really nice, managed to scan it and put the rubbish in the bin for us!

[Allboxedin]

and sausages, my dd rarely gets what she wants, but when I am desperate, I am desperate! forgotton those days?

[SpectralHarrassmentPandaPop]

Only read the first page before posting. I've just read back and found out that feeding a hungry child is lazy parenting and that you should without food from your kids so they don't end up being brats. Interesting views!

Yes sometimes I am disorganised when packing stuff to take both the kids shopping and have to give the baby something from my trolley. You have to leave the shop without paying for something for a crime to have been committed so wtf has it got to do with anyone else?

[AWimbaWay]

WidowWadman, that link is about people not paying for things they have consumed, I think everyone on this thread would agree that is wrong, but I don't see why giving my 11 month old a breadstick then paying for the packet at the end should enrage anybody really.

[GuillotinedMaryLacey]

When are you desperate? Seriously, not being snippy. My dd is a little bugger but I'm struggling to think of a situation when she absolutely must have that banana/breadstick/lolly precisely at that moment.

[SpectralHarrassmentPandaPop]

And my kids no that sometimes they can't have things and are fully accepting of that - not brattish at all. I don't have to withhold things I have no problem with them having to achieve that.

[Chestnutx3]

Well as soon as the supermarkets have enough people manning the tills and there isn't a huge wait I will stop feeding my child in the trolley. As I am expected to now scan my own trolley load of stuff in my own sainsbury's I really think a few free grapes is the least the supermarket can provide me in lieu of a person to scan my bags let alone help me pack them.