Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20

Original poster

to think that things in your supermarket trolley aren't yours until you have paid for them

491 replies

jandymaccomesback · 08/10/2011 15:52

This morning in Tesco we kept passing a womanwith a child in a trolley. We first saw her in fruit and veg, as she peeled a banana and handed it to the child. Next time we saw her the child was eating from a packet of cheese strings. Finally we saw her opening a carton of juice. All of these things came off the shelf. DH was so enraged he wanted to tell the staff, but I persuaded him not to. To me this is wrong, even if you intend to pay,and definitely gives a message to the child that she can help herslf. AIBU?

OP posts:

sallymonella · 08/10/2011 16:17

This falls into my "why do people CARE?" category. It's the sort of thing my mum will go on and on about, while I'm just thinking, so what, what's it got to do with you?

Really, why on earth would you care about some stranger eating food in a supermarket? Why????

Roseflower · 08/10/2011 16:17

I just meant make into a facemask

Hungrydragon · 08/10/2011 16:17

Aaah yes, but sometimes I bribe dd because you are stuck behind the couple who continually block the entire aisle to discuss every bloody thing they buy, trolley at a jaunty angle.

I hate that couple because if you change direction or avoid them than the alpha partner notices and gets the hump and they spend the rest of their time doing it to people on purpose.

Oh good lord, I'm as bad as the ops dh!

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 08/10/2011 16:18

I try very hard not to do this but would be lying if I say I have never done it - very occassionally I have opened pre-priced things to keep the DCs quiet while I shop.
However I agree in principle, e.g. toy on front of magazine stays intact until we pay etc.

Dawndonna · 08/10/2011 16:22

My stepmother has had sandwiches in a supermarket before. Paid at the end.
She's diabetic, it was essential. Tell your DH to get a sense of perspective.

Allboxedin · 08/10/2011 16:22

I wouldn't normally do it. I usually buy something at the kiosk outside the shop if I think a tantrum is coming on because she s hungry or thirsty. However if I was desperate and dd was clearly not going to let me shop probably would take one out of a packet just to make my and other shopper's lives easer!
I know OP saw the woman take things off the shelf to gve straight to the child but in other cases how do you know that the parent has not already paid for it or bought it along with them?

HeadfirstForHocusPocus · 08/10/2011 16:22

More importantly did you notice if they ate any naice ham or drink any fruitshoots?

HeadfirstForHocusPocus · 08/10/2011 16:22

*drank

BoffinMum · 08/10/2011 16:23

I do it now and then, in extremis, because supermarkets are difficult places to deal with small children and it makes everyone's lives easier if you stop the racket. I honestly don't see what the problem is if people are honest and cough up what they owe. If they don't, well they might be shoplifting without eating anyway, I should imagine.

DontGoCurly · 08/10/2011 16:29

I don't do it but I don't care if other people do. So what? It's a non-issue. even if the supermarkets lose a lot to grazers why would I give a shit?

YABU and your husband needs to calm down and mind his own business, Strong morals my arse!

sillybillies · 08/10/2011 16:31

I often let the kids have something to eat to keep them quiet. Can't see the problem. We always pay and make sure we keep the wrapper to scan (The kids know its got to be paid for at the till). Wouldn't eat bananas though as they wouldn't be weighed.
Really is better things to worry about and seriously I'd rather that than have screaming kids as would most of the other shoppers I'd imagine.

YNK · 08/10/2011 16:31

My brother was escorted to the managers office in a Spar once for having a can of coke in his pocket. He walks with crutches and he was standing in a queue at the till (it was the only thing he was buying!!!) He clearly couldn't hold it, or a basket, in his hands!
So yes you ABU and your DP even more so to be enraged! It's only theft if the intention is not to pay.

NoobyNoob · 08/10/2011 16:35

I don't normally do it, I'll take something with me for DS to nibble on.

However, if we're in Tescos and we literally have nothing in, then yes, I'd give DS a banana off the shelf or something.

I love that your DH was enraged, seriously?! So, YABU.

FlossieFromCrapstonVillas · 08/10/2011 16:40

If there is every intention to pay at the end it's okay, I reckon. I admit to having a slight 'tut' moment to myself when I see it but then remind myself it's nothing to do with me & I have enough to worry about with my own shopping without worrying about anyone else.

It bothers me for a nano second but I soon get over it.

FanjoString · 08/10/2011 16:45

I wouldn't do it, but I wouldn't get irate at someone else doing it. I find the concept a bit odd though, I don't walk around eating in any other shops.

wigglesmonsterock · 08/10/2011 16:46

God, I do it for mine, if I buy a multi pack of lollies, I have been known to give one to the difficult middle one while shopping. I have also picked up one of the apple and grape packs and given it to the baby if its a particular fractious time. I pay for it at the end and see to be honest no-one has ever raised an eyebrow, much less done a cats bum mouth, mind you I don't take particular notice of other peoples shopping habits.

I dislike taking something from home into Tescos for dds as often its from Tescos and I think the assumption if I was ferreting away in my bag for something Tesco branded might be a little more suspicious.

Shiregirl · 08/10/2011 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieMiddleton · 08/10/2011 16:48

Not only do I do this but I consider it a public service because it stops the toddler meltdown.

I only do it for prepacked fruit, so DS can have a banana or apple out of a bag with a set price or a multipack. I always pay for whatever DS has. We've never had any problems.

YABU and your dh needs to mind his own.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/10/2011 16:49

It is a technicality, YNK, but how would the person in the OP's story pay for the banana the child had eaten (assuming it was not from a multipack with a bar code)? So if you pick up a banana from the display of loose bananas, and let your child eat it, you must be aware that you are not going to pay for that banana - so it is theft - albeit that I will get yelled at because it is only a banana.

It never occured to me to feed the boys on the way round the supermarket - they learned that you waited for a treat until we'd paid for it. I said no, and meant it.

If your children are going to need something to graze on as you go round, then either make it something in a pack with a bar code so you know you can pay at the end, or pay for the banana then carry on round the shop.

But I would tend to agree with the OP - not about being enraged, but that you don't consume stuff until you've paid for it.

ttalloo · 08/10/2011 16:51

I give my DC bananas (pre-packaged) or bread or raisins that we haven't yet paid for while we're wandering round the supermarket. I really don't see what it has to do with anybody else, since we always pay for what the children are eating, and their munching means that they're not howling with hunger/boredom/rage and making a trip to the supermarket more tedious and stressful than it needs to be.

And, on from YNK's unfortunate brother, whenever I go to the supermarket with DS2 in his P&T, I always put the shopping in the empty rear seat because it's so much easier than lugging a basket round as well. I've had some funny looks from other shoppers, but the security guards know me and they've never bothered me about it because I always pay.

So YABU - and your DH sounds as if he doesn't have enough to worry about if a woman feeding her children stuff from her trolley is enough to 'enrage' him. People disappearing from the queue for 10 minutes when their stuff is being scanned, so that they can go and find the dozen items they happen to have forgotten - now that's something to get cross about.

Debs75 · 08/10/2011 16:52

I think your DH needs to look at himself and find out why he should get 'enraged'at somebody elses shopping/parenting styles.

If I have to take ds(asd) shopping then he always gets an apple to eat on the way around so he can focus on something other then the scary shop. If he didn't then he would be getting very upset and kicking and screching most of the way.
DD usually has breakfast in the shop before we start shopping so isn't hungry but will often be thirsty by the end so I let her share a drink with me before we pay for it. Maybe I should pack her a drink but we want her to learn that a snack/drink from a shop doesn't have to be unhealthy so we buy her water or fruit.

zookeeper · 08/10/2011 16:52

I break into the multipacks too. I pay for the lot at the till. your DH sounds insufferable.

notabankersmum · 08/10/2011 16:52

I wouldn't do this unless it was an emergency. Such an emergency has never cropped up, during shopping on my own or with anyone in the family.

However, I do realise that not everyone is in our situation (e.g. no one in this household is diabetic, although I have family members who are, for example).

I think where it is clearly wrong (and I'm with the OP's DH in these cases) where you see people consuming items that cannot be paid for e.g. fruit by the weight, or leaving the packets or empty bottles as you walk around the store. There's clearly a difference between eating a grape or two vs. stealing items where there's a non-trivial loss to the supermarket, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out where acceptability lies... or so I thought.

Since we moved last year and I've started to do more of the weekly shop (DH used to do it on his way home) I've seen some really shocking things going on - I had no idea that some parents allowed their children to eat bags of crisps and consume bottles of juice, and then just abandon them on the shelves as they go around - surely this is outright theft?

But I've never seen anyone get stopped for it so far (admittedly we use a massive Tesco, so maybe staff just have bigger battles to fight).

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/10/2011 16:52

Shiregirl - you ask what business it is of the OP or her dh - well (and again, yes, I know it was only a banana) but the shop do not pay for items that are taken and not paid for. Part of the mark-up that a shop puts on the price of its items is there to cover the costs of 'shrinkage' - stuff being taken and not paid for, stuff that gets broken etc. So you and I are paying for stuff nicked by shoplifters. Yes, it is far more important that the stores concentrate on catching the people who are nicking expensive stuff, but the principle is the same.

notabankersmum · 08/10/2011 16:54

One more thing - I always wonder why so many people don't seem to be able to eat in a more enjoyable (appropriate?) circumstance.

I mean, if you're diabetic, or feeling light headed and need a drink, or you're old and frail.. but surely it's just nicer to not go around the supermarket stuffing your face with crisps/juice?

I'm also concerned about the bribery aspect with DCs where they would start to expect snacks every time we went round, knowing their behaviour in the past.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20