Private companies running classes in state schools, DD can't go because we are poor, AIBU to complain??

[PollyPeppa]

We are below the poverty line as we have 3 DC's and DH and I are full time uni students. We worked in low paid jobs and decided enough was enough and are now hoping to get better ones after university.

DD's school had just started up after school Spanish club. We sent her along to the trial session and she loved it. We had foolishly assumed there would be a concessionary rate (as there usually is with after school clubs) but there is not as it is run by a private company so we can't afford for her to go again.

I feel this is very unfair to offer this as only children whose parents can afford to send them can go, I think it creates a divide in the 'state' system.

[chill1243]

Did some stae schools dell their playing fields.

Even scaryteacher may object to some deals done.

And Scary if you are a teacher; in what way are you scary.? I think we should be told

[LaurieFairyCake]

slug - you're bloody brilliant.

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

Polly if you really want your DD to learn Spanish your local library will have some great teach yourself CD's she can learn from. Or is it just coz you cant afford for her to go that it makes you want her to go there all the more?

My DS does have foreign holidays (he preferred 3 says at Butlins with his mate rather than 2 weeks in the caribbean with me and his dad) and he knows he is a lucky kid but he also knows there is stuff he wants that he cant have.........i have told him life is unfair and the older you get, the worse it gets!

[Ciske]

I think OP needs a bit of a reality check, to be honest.

Raising 3 kids on a low income, and then BOTH stopping work at the same time to go to Uni was always going to be a big financial risk. You are probably getting a fair few benefits and concessions already to help your family through this and make sure you don't starve. More charity is nice but not a right.

You're working hard to get a better future for your family, so focus on that, the sacrifices will pay off in the end.

[blackeyedsusan]

i think that you should point out to the school that some people can't afford that much, and could they try to arrange some cheaper activities sometimes so the less well off can attend.

you also need to point out to your children that they can't have everyhting they want and life is about choices. they will grow to be better adults for it. (shame if they can't access anything though)

[GypsyMoth]

I think an adult going to uni..... Choosing NOT to work, both of you as well, is quite selfish. Students are known to be poor, but choosing this way if life when you gave dependents is not fair, as op is finding out!!

Did you not think these things through first op??

[notevenamousie]

If this is primary and therefore basic Spanish, then can't you get a beginners course from the library and teach her yourself? If it's about the sociable, learning aspect, she has all day at school for that, and something like Brownies will give her lots to do for relatively little money.

DD has to learn we have less than others because her father doesn't support her and "why do we have to walk?" for eg. can be answered by 'because it's good for us' as well as 'because we can't afford a car' depending on what I want the lesson to be, just like 'why can't I go to Spanish lessons?' can be answered by 'because we can learn Spanish at home but you can't play games with all your friends at home, so you can go to Brownies later' as well as 'we don't have enough money' depending on what lesson you want to teach (and how many times she asks, IME!).

[MillyR]

YABU.

It costs me more to take DD to her dance classes in terms of the bus fare there and back for me and her than it costs for the actual dance class.

The number of classes she can attend is limited by the cost and inconvenience of getting her to the classes.

It would be much more affordable and consequently much less elitist if schools were built and treated more as centres for learning where a variety of different activities were offered, even though many will have associated costs just like adult education centres do.

I reckon that most of the people on this thread who think that accessibility is mostly about whether or not there is a price attached can afford to own a car. Accessibility for me is whether or not DD can get there or not. The easiest place for children to get to for an after school activity is usually school.

[SheCutOffTheirTails]

I'm sure the OP's children aren't the only ones learning the valuable lesson that they are worth less than other children because their parents are poor, so her decision to go back to Uni is irrelevant.

[Hassled]

PollyPeppa - ask at the school office for a contact number for your area Parent Support Advisor. Ask him/her if there are any funds for access to extended services (eg after school clubs) in the school cluster. There are often little pots of money for this sort of thing that people don't really know about - but school clusters (usually a group of schools that feed into a High School, and the schools that feed into them) do sometimes get given money specifically for this sort of need.

[fivegomadindorset]

YOu both chose to go to uni at the same time, you could have staggared it so you could afford things. Life is unfair, by the fate of birth my brother has all the trappings, nice house, expensive holidays, we don't, that is the way it is, we would like to go on holiday next year but other things have priority, such as food and bills.

[choccyp1g]

Reading this has gien me an idea for our school which holds quite a few clubs run by private companies. I think we do charge for the use of the hall, so perhaps we could consider keeping that income aside especially for use to subsidise the clubs for some children.
The hard part is being fair about the subsidy: for example, I am entitled to free school meals, (very small income, but (tiny) house is now mortgage-free), but I'm sure some people on Working Tax credit are probably worse off than us.
Also, some families with massive houses (and mortgages to match) may have very little disposable income, but in the long run will own a much more expensive house than mine.

[choccyp1g]

given me an idea....

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

I think the decision to have 3 DC and then both parents going to uni is very relevant....it is obvious that if neither mum or dad are working full time then money is going to be tight so dont complain if you feel your kids are missing out.

I would love to re-train, go to uni and get a degree to be a physoptherapist but I cant afford to give my job up so therefore I cant go! It's a choice I have made but if I did decide to leave my job I understand that money would be a lot tighter and my DS, me and DH would all have to make sacrifices.

[Whatmeworry]

What you seem to think is fair is that the parents of poor children should subsidise the parents of wealthier children to have Spanish classes that their children are excluded from

Eh? How do you get to that conclusion?

By and large poor people are already being subsidised to send their kids to free schools in the first place, or do you think that taxpayers are actually receiving money from people on benefits?

[CaptainNancy]

You may wish to check with your LA whether there are spanish classes run elsewhere that she could attend- my LA runs free classes for children every saturday in French, German, Spanish and something else that any child over 5 can join.

I do think YABU I'm afraid- it is an after-school activity. Whether it is run by a private company or by the school staff it shouldn't be free, whoever runs it should be paid for their time.

I think children do need to learn that there is inequality all around them- why do you want to shield your children from that fact?

[Pootles2010]

Agree with fivegomad actually. I don't think it's 'your fault because you chose to have kids' etc etc, but you should consider that you're lucky in that you can do a full time degree.

Everyone is lucky in some ways, less so in others. You are lucky you can do a full time degree, not so lucky in that you don't have so much money. Most people would have to do part time degree through OU, in fact that is what my DP is doing. It takes 6 years and it's bloody knackering for him, but that's his only option.

[southmum]

Agree Betty, Id love to be able to go to Uni (couldnt afford to go when I had the chance wah wah wah its not fair) and re-train but I cant I now have a DC and another on the way so do so would be irresponsible of me.

On a more helpful note OP could one of you change the course to distance learning / PT course so at least one of you could possibly work and bring a bit more money in to pay for these sorts of things?

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

If a private company is being allowed to use school premises for free to run a club/language class/whatever, then the quid pro quo of that is that they should offer a certain number of places at a reduced price to those, like the OP, who genuinely cannot afford them.

If the club is paying to use the school premises then presumably the school will be using that income to benefit all the children. However, from that income, the school could offer a number of 'bursaries' to allow parents like the OP to send their child to an after-school club like the Spanish class she mentioned. That wouldn't be easy for the school to administrate, though, and might cause bad feeling amongst those parents whose children weren't lucky enough to get a bursary.

I do agree with LtEve - children do need to learn that money is finite, and there is always going to be someone who can afford more than you can. In fact, even if we lived in a socialist utopia, where everyone had the same amount of income, people would make different choices about how to spend that money, and thus some would have more money available to spend on luxuries than others would - eg someone might decide to have the heating on all year round, whilst someone else kept the thermostat low all the time, and would therefore have a bit more cash available.

My dses know that there's only a certain amount of cash coming into the house, and that they can't have everything they want (and they can't have everything that their friends have).

[coccyx]

exactly what whatmeworry says.
Your choice to BOTH go to university, why should my children not be able to have lessons because YOU have made that choice for yours. Tough

[Whatmeworry]

Yes, it is more fair that there should be no Spanish class than that there should be a Spanish class subsidised by the school (which is the case if the accommodation is cheaper than elsewhere) that not all children can attend

The OP and her DH have chosen to both do Uni at the same time, ie they have less income, so as sure as day turns to night there are some things they can't buy their kids. How come (assuming I am at the same school) that my kids can't get Spanish classes because of someone else's life choices now for them to earn more in future?

How is that fair?

[LisasCat]

A lot of people seem to be saying that Spanish classes are a luxury, but I would beg to differ. If the OP's school doesn't already offer some access to a modern foreign language (MFL, as you may hearing teachers call it), then these classes become far more important in the issue of lessening the educational divide between children. The global economy makes the learning of an MFL almost essential if a child is to have the kind of future career prospects to close the gap between rich and poor in this country. Spanish classes are a very different thing to learning a musical instrument or attending dance classes. If these aren't part of the curriculum, they bloody well should be.

(But that's just me going off on a political, idealogical rant. Sorry)

[choccyp1g]

Slug you are my hero of the week
Question for OP. If the university strategy works, and you end up getting a much better paid job as a result, would you then be happy to pay extra for clubs to subsidise poorer children as slug is doing.

[BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack]

southmum - when I was younger I never had any aspirations plus mum and dad couldnt afford for me to go to uni so I just left school and got a job. It was only when my mum was ill and in a hospice and I saw the physios doing their job, I had a sort of lightbulb moment.........that is what I want to do! Now, all I need to do is rewind back 23 odd years, leave school and somehow go to uni