to think that it is far harder for a woman to leave a relationship than for a man to

[soggy14]

and that lots of women still end up trapped in pretty rotten relationships because they gave up careers etc to have kids/support partners and it is very hard to get back on the career ladder/re-establish yourself. In many cases the male half of a partnership can still leave the reationship fairly unscaved career wise but the womnan can't - even with maintenance the childcare infrastructure is not there to anable many women to re establish themselves career wise

I disagree. Men do not only leave a relationship because they have an alternative lined up. What if they are being abused-financially, emotionally, or physically? These are all reasons why people leave.

Men can be victims of violence and abuse, too. Sometimes they leave because they have had enough. I think it is really unreasonable to say that having an alternative lined up is the only reason they leave.

The key is keeping financial independence.

I'm not assuming that all women are SAHMs - I work. I just think that there is still a lot of prejudice around against women with children (last time I went for an interview - to move from PT to FT - was told by one of the panel that interviewed me (all women in their 50s) that I was considered not suitable as they had decided that there was a risk that I'd get intoa mess if my childcare arrangements fell through - was actually shocked by this but having talked to friends about it have found that these attitudes are around. And no I couldn't report this as I had no proof - just a verbal unwitnessed conversation when I asked for feedback. So muy point is that for women everything is often harder to do in a relationship whereas for the man it doesn't make so much difference and I suspect is still often easier as there are still attitudes around about how a man need a woman to support him.

Well, you're also assuming that all women are mothers. There's a difference between arguing that mothers find it harder to leave relationships between the impact on their children/financial situations post-separation, and arguing that women find it harder to leave relationships generally because they're conditioned to keep trying longer, or don't want to be alone, or whatever reason you'd cite to support that.

AF and Minx - since

"men will only leave when they have an alternative lined up." and
"Women tend to leave for a variety of reasons, disillusionment, dissatistaction, emotional abuse and neglect, being treated like s**t basically, getting bored etc.etc"
..and one assumes when they also have an alternative lined up,

then based on these generalisations women are clearly less capabable of resolving problems and are less mature or responsible than men; since we all agree that it takes two in a relationship and women are equally capable of being the source of unhappiness they must be more easily dissatisfied. Or men are more easy going.

Or you are wrong.

Ray did I say all men ? Nope, I didn't.

And fair play to you for attempting to refute two separate poster's opinions in one succinct observation. That takes a special kind of skill.

Which you don't have.

You are of course entitled to your opinion though.

Im pretty sure men leave realtionships for a massive spectrum of reasons- no different to women. They are human too.

Back to the op- yes in some cases- but there are also women with very rich DH who can end up quite wealthy out of divorces too

Especially if their DH was very controlling with money- they will suddenly have access and control to a large sum so end up better off than married when the had limited spending power