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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be upset with easyjet cabin manager

90 replies

evitas · 24/08/2011 11:21

We flew back yesterday. The flight departured at 8pm and my DS (18 months) was very tired. Of course he did exactly what we didn't want him to do, he screamed a lot (and yes he's very laud)!!! We were in row 5 or 6, and I decided to go to the front of the cabin (next to the toilet) to see if I could calm him down, and see if he would fall asleep. I could see the odd looks from the other passengers... but what else could I do?
Suddenly the cabin manager came and told us we could not be there because it was unfair for the other passengers. That it was disrespectful for the other passenger to listen to our baby screaming and that they had paid a ticket to have a quiet flight!! I was so upset! I told him that if he knew of any other way to calm my baby then we could have a go, because we were doing our best. He told me that if I was the mum I should know how to calm my baby :(
I got so upset that I burst into tears. All the other cabin members were very nice and kept apologising, they even gave me their seat in the rear of the plane. When finally (20 minutes later) Ds was asleep the cabin manager came and apologised and said that it had been a language barrier (English is not my native language) that I had not understood what he was telling me. That just made me feel even worse. I know it's annoying when children cry on board, but surly the cabin crew is used to this... I just thought that he was rude and not supportive at all.
Do you think I should send easyjet an email, complaining about him? Or AIBU?

OP posts:

Laquitar · 24/08/2011 13:22

'supportive' ???

He is not your dh or your mum or your best friend. Can people stop over-use this word?

You can complain if he was rude. But not for 'lack of support'. You only get a flight with easy jet, you dont get counselling aswell (although you need it after some flights)

Catslikehats · 24/08/2011 13:29

howaboutahotcup you'll be one of those charming woman who glare daggers at me when I sit myself down in business class with my 3 DC then

Catslikehats · 24/08/2011 13:30

women goddamnit!

Original poster

evitas · 24/08/2011 13:32

Lacquitar so what's the right word? Professional?!

OP posts:

Gonzo33 · 24/08/2011 13:33

Oh dear, I am flying with easyjet in a couple of weeks with my 18mth old. I am dreading it now! It is a night flight, so I am hoping she will sleep the whole way, but who knows?

Personally I would have been very annoyed with the Crew Manager, but would have tackled them there and then.

Original poster

evitas · 24/08/2011 13:37

Gonzo I flew a couple of times with them before this incident and they were always very nice. Even in this flight the other 3 members were very professional and helpful. So I would not say easyjet has a crap service.

OP posts:

gaaagh · 24/08/2011 13:39

Lambzig that sounds like a hideous position to be in.

Why did your DH feel it acceptable to disassociate himself with you and (your+his) screaming, upset child?

I think it's great that the cabin crew rallied round and were supportive of you in that situation. But I would question the role (or lack thereof) both of you should have played in calming your child down. Or does your DH only get involved in the fun, unembarassing side of parenting?

Rather than praise the staff, I'd say you should be more worried about the shocking attitude of your childrens father who saw his own wife close to tears and from what you've mentioned did fuck all to help.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 24/08/2011 13:40

I'm with sausagesandmarmelade. People are so bloody intolerant, it's a wonder any parent has the guts to take their child out of the house. You can't stop babies crying if they want to cry. You can't take them outside an aeroplane till they calm down. So wtf else was the OP supposed to do? If the parent in question is doing everything in their power to deal with their child then they just have to deal with the crying. Everyone has done it at some point in their life.

Laquitar · 24/08/2011 13:43

evitas maybe 'sympathetic' instead of 'supportive'? (mind you, i'm not english speaking either, dont count on me )

PrincessScrumpy · 24/08/2011 13:46

I got annoyed when on a long haul flight a mother allowed her 4 dc to run around - cabin crew asked them to sit and got a mouthful - that imo is bad parenting. A baby crying, most people can tune out if it's not their own. We planned to fly to Canada with dd - 3 and a 3 month old baby to see my brother. I was hoping bf would help but as I'm having twins we've chickened out. If you're flying 1st class then maybe you would be annoyed to have a baby crying but on Easyjet? Ignore the stupid man.

FWIW, I might have looked up at you if I was on the flight but it would have been a sympathetic look not a nasty one! x

Highlander · 24/08/2011 13:46

Frankly, in these situations, I think the cabin crew should do an announcement.

"sorry folks, as you can probably hear, we have an upset baby/toddler on board. The mum/dad is doing her best to calm the baby so let's all be a bit patient. For those of you who've never had kids, please understand that toddlers don't understand that they have to sit in cramped seats for a few hours. We do have earplugs, please don't hesitate to ask".

PrincessScrumpy · 24/08/2011 13:48

Ooooh just remembered, on a flight to Majorca I opened dd's cup (one with the straw) and the pressure had built up so milk squirted the seat infront. I apologised and asked if it got the man - he turned around to reveal a face splattered with milk! (I struggled not to burst out laughing!)

Original poster

evitas · 24/08/2011 13:51

lol Laquitar I think that is a goof word

Highlander that would have been a great announcement!

Thank you all for your words. I feel much better now. I think I just needed to talk about this.

cheers
x

OP posts:

MissMississippi · 24/08/2011 13:51

What Evitas said. YANBU. Before I had kids, I travelled a lot. On one occasion on a long-haul flight. This toddler next to me screamed for 2 hours. The parents did relatively little, but I never complained. I just wished to myself the kid would be quiet soon. But I never blamed the parents UNTIL.... The kid eventually stopped crying (oh, the lovely respite....) and began playing with some biscuits and he dropped them on the floor, at which point his father smacked him!!!! Which sent the kid screaming again!!! Just awful. So I blamed the father at this point!!!

I know what it's like with a screaming baby. You are already stressed out and conscious of the other passengers and doing EVERYTHING in your power to calm the baby. The cabin steward wad completely out of order.

Furthermore, it's really pathetic using an excuse such as a language barrier. You should have said that you understood perfectly and when he speaks your mother Tongue fluently then he can possibly begin to discuss the complexities of any issues that can arise with being multilingual!!!

Yes, those who chose professions such as these sometimes are unable to please all the people all the time. But that's just tough on the part of the crew. Everyone has difficult issues in other professions. As a manager he should have been even more well equipped to deal with a small and common matter of a crying child without upsetting the mother.

So what if the OP moved?! She was trying her best, and the seats were not assigned. Those people were at the front as they were more brash in pushing in front of everyone and legging it to the front of the queue.

iliketea · 24/08/2011 13:55

YANBU to be upset about the situation, but I expect that the manager was also trying to appease other customers.

I've flown with my dd on flights where she has made rather a lot of noise, and I couldn't console her and felt terrible for other passengers. But, I wouldn't go and stand next to some other passengers to try and console her.

If I fly alone on an airline with seating free-for-all, I would always chose a seat as far away as possible from people with children, because if they cry I really don't want to be right next to the noise. And I have to say, if someone got out their seat and came and stood next to me with a screaming child, after I chose to sit as far away as I could, I would also be saying something either to that parent or to the cabin crew. Not because I would think a child isn't calmed down properly, but because I chose my seat on the plane based on where I might be least bothered by a crying child. Sorry.

Complain if it makes you feel better, but don't be surprised if you don't get much of a response.

redexpat · 24/08/2011 14:02

OP your written english is bloody marvelous!

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 24/08/2011 14:05

I feel for you OP but at least the cabin crew member did come and apologise. A screaming baby on a plane is a pretty awful thing and I expect he was just trying to appease the other passengers.

As an aside though I'd rather sit next to a squawking child than most grown ups on planes, especially those who take their shoes and socks off (boak), recline their seats on a 2 hour flight, eat homemade egg sandwiches etc etc

tiredgranny · 24/08/2011 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

MissPenteuth · 24/08/2011 15:36

:( evitas. Flying with a toddler is stressful enough (as someone mentioned upthread, it's not like a restaurant where you can take them outside if they won't calm down) without unsympathetic passengers and staff. And I agree that part of the cabin crew's role is (or should be!) to be polite and make the journey as stress-free as possible for everyone, including parents.

It sounds to me like the cabin manager knew he'd been arsey with you and was using the 'language barrier' excuse as a way of covering himself.

northerngirl41 · 24/08/2011 16:51

Frankly my view on this is that it's inevitable that kids will cry on planes and that the entire plane will hate you and at very least throw death stares at you. If you aren't prepared to put up with that, there is a very simple solution: don't take them on the plane!!!

SquidgyBiscuits · 24/08/2011 17:42

Does everyone not have those little headphones on flights now? To be honest, screaming kids get right on my wick, but I'm not a monster. Unless the parent is sitting ignoring it on a flight (a flight isn't really the place to let kids screech it out) I just put my earphones in and listen to some music.

And I don't think I've ever flown and there hasn't been someone walking around with their baby, either to calm them down, or quieten them down. I can't see how it is disrespectful to the other passengers, who for the most part just want to sit on their arse and watch TV.

Takeresponsibility · 24/08/2011 17:50

Twenty flights in eighteen months? - well that about destroys my entire village's recycling effort this year.

Thanks

Loshad · 24/08/2011 17:56

my thoughts too Takeresponsibility

Catslikehats · 24/08/2011 18:17

takesresponsibility not everyone is fortunate enough to live a bus ride away from their families.

Original poster

evitas · 24/08/2011 18:20

takeresponsibilty and loshad we also make an effort to reduce carbon emissions. Having been working in the environmental field I'm very consciences of the needs and the challenges that we face. unfortunately reducing plane travelling as much as I would like is an impossibility (no, I'm no travelling by plane in the UK). But on the other hand I walk to work and recycle. I hope that counts :)

OP posts:

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