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AIBU?

Jo Frost should be compulsory watching.

188 replies

Poshbaggirl · 09/08/2011 07:28

I love this woman. She is to parenting what Jamie is to school dinners. No, shes better than that! So straightforward, everyone should watch and learn.

OP posts:

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SilveryMoon · 09/08/2011 08:17

&Bertie* I do the same with my ds's.
They have an angry pillow that they can do what they like with when they need to vent frustrations.
That is re-direction.
I also often distract mine by asking if they want happy face or sad face. We have a chart on the wall and if I ask them to do something and it gets done without fuss, they get a happy face on the chart, if they kick off and fight, they get a sad face, so when I see that things might be going off track I can quickly say "are we working for sad face or happy face?" and that seems to distract them from what they were doing and get them to think of what they should be doing

Meglet · 09/08/2011 08:17

I prefer House of tiny tearaways, but TB sensibly decided to not make any more.

Jo Frost is common sense. Easy to tell others what to do, much harder when you're doing it on your own.

Chandon · 09/08/2011 08:18

it's funny though, I often wonder if she actually LIKES children??

devientenigma · 09/08/2011 08:19

By me I mean, I have just read Mrs presleys again and yes she does mention charts, however this wasn't used it was written in a notebook. See short term memory, how does a child change there patterns.

BertieBotts · 09/08/2011 08:21

I don't understand how a bribe or encouragement is redirection though. (I only mentioned reward charts because they are a form of encouragement/bribery)

I also think JF's methods must be quite draining, taking the hard line. I wonder how easy they would be to keep up if you are a single parent or don't have much support in other ways.

devientenigma · 09/08/2011 08:21

children with sn's could be more resistant

claw meaning she doesn't have the years needed to help.

Claw3 · 09/08/2011 08:22

J just had a quick google and apparently Jo Frost did work with a boy with ADHD, did anyone see this episode?

devientenigma · 09/08/2011 08:23

apparantly it's all redirecting the child to something other than the behaviour. I have had many an arguement myself with the behaviour team we are involved with. Someone who has been with us since my ds was 4, he's now 10 and nothing has changed.

exoticfruits · 09/08/2011 08:27

I think that she likes DCs-she is actually very good with them when she does the fun things.
Of course her methods are draining-parenting is hard work. If parents have let things go because they are too lazy, don't want to say 'no' and be unpopluar, have been ill, have a personal crisis etc etc it is even harder work to get back on track. The whole secret is to be consistent-if you keep to it 4 times out of 5 and then just let the 5th go because you are tired, you have lost all the good work.

EdithWeston · 09/08/2011 08:28

YABU.

It might suit some families and their whole approach to life. But "one guru fits all" isn't really an answer to anything.

Those who think about their parenting will diligently work out a good approach based on sources of advice they choose (not have imposed on them). Those that don't aren't going to change because of a bit of exposure to one source.

devientenigma · 09/08/2011 08:32

maybe she should revisit families??

there is a term for exotics 4 out of 5 times I just can't remember it.

joric · 09/08/2011 08:32

I love this woman. She is to parenting what Jamie is to school dinners. No, shes better than that! So straightforward, everyone should watch and learn.

Hmmmm.... OP, Jamie Oliver was errr... a great success with his feet in first, no nonsense approach.... wasn't he?
Are you teasing us OP....?

BertieBotts · 09/08/2011 08:37

But it's a fact of life that parents do get ill, get tired, have personal crises, and if you don't have a partner there or family to pick up the slack those things are going to happen. I find it much less stressful to have a more laid-back approach all around so that that one time out of five (or whatever) doesn't make much of a dent. I don't find it an all or nothing thing. But then I only have one child and I think it is easier with one, especially when they are little.

diddl · 09/08/2011 08:41

YABU.

pleasekeepcalmandcarryon · 09/08/2011 08:42

I think it's quite telling that there hasn't been a supernanny revisited programme. I would like to see how some of these families are managing a year later.

I do think some of the basic advice is good but some of the set ups seem a little realistic. If my DH took a week of work and we both devoted every waking moment to managing the DC in a prescribed way we would probably see results. However in reality we have to work, cook, clean and fit in other commitments. I suspect in the supernanny programmes everything down to the meals are organised for the familiies during Jo's stay.

pleasekeepcalmandcarryon · 09/08/2011 08:43

*unrealistic

FutureNannyOgg · 09/08/2011 08:48

No, because not all parents have the problems the people on her show seem to, and because there is more than 1 way to skin a cat. She doesn't have the perfect formula, she has one that works quickly (in the short term at least) in certain situations.

I personally find her a bit cold, probably because she is a professional rather than a mother. Her manner is one I'd use at work (I'm a teacher), but I think there is room for a bit more tenderness and affection with my own child.

borderslass · 09/08/2011 08:50

There was a programme on a few years ago where she went back to a few families after a couple of years it included the oldest and worst behaved girl's family Megan who was totally out of control when she originally arrived.

borderslass · 09/08/2011 08:52

I also saw her programme with the child with ADHD and have to say that she honestly didn't have a clue, as for MOST children with ADHD her methods wouldn't of worked.

itisnearlysummer · 09/08/2011 08:52

claw I saw an the(?) episode with a boy with ADHD. The family was chaotic, discipline was loud, aggressive and humiliating (as it often is before she steps in).

The boy had violent outbursts, couldn't sit still to do his homework and the parents were trying to fight fire with fire. Lots of dragging, shouting, the usual.

She did manage to instill some 'discipline' into the family more because she helped the parents to find ways of responding appropriately to their son in a way that worked for him. She controlled the behaviour of the parents and that it turn benefited the child.

Now I doubt that she found a magic solution but she no doubt improved the lives of the parents and the boy because they were all having a miserable time of it before then. Disclaimer: this was one tv edited programme, I'm not suggesting that ADHD can be cured by parenting

But then I've seen some crazy shit on that programme (I sometimes watch it because I like to feel I'm not doing such a bad job afterall!) like the grieving family who made the son kiss a photo of his dead grandfather in return for sweets!

I don't think she should be seen as a guru and tbh she doesn't do any more than speak common sense a lot of the time.

amistillsexy · 09/08/2011 08:54

I think the reason her methods work with the families she visits is because of what she does with the parents, not so much the children.

Her method makes the parents take control but also makes them take responsibility for giving their children other activities to do. She always has them take their DCs to the park, do crafts, etc, and encourages lots of love and cuddles. I bet there's much more of this sort of stuff going on behind the scenes, it just doesn't get as much airplay as it's not as exciting to watch.

IMO, children thrive and behave better when they are shown clear direction by their parents, and also when they are accepted (or, as JF would say, "assepted" ) and loved unconditionally.

itisnearlysummer · 09/08/2011 08:55

just read that back. I think it's more that the boys ADHD was exacerbated by crap parenting and she helped to minimise the negative impact of that parenting. Not that she 'improved' the boys behaviour.

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changeforthebetter · 09/08/2011 08:57

No she is only interested in controlling children - not in helping them to develop. None of her tactics that I saw (stopped watching a couple of years ago) involved finding out what kids were feeling and how that affected their behaviour. I think she is short-termist and misguided. Obviously she would be shoo-in for a post in this current administration I'd rather see government policy informed by people who are y'know, um, what's the word, qualified in ooh, maybe child psychology.

GooseyLoosey · 09/08/2011 09:00

I'm not sure about the programme at all on several levels. I do not like being entertained by the misery of others, particularly children so for that reason I no longer watch it. I also suspect that the people on it are being exploited - of course the children behave better when she is there, most children behave better for other people. However, I truly wonder if you went back to these families in 6 months time, how much of a difference she would have made - in many cases probably very little. Of course children need consistently enforced rules, I think we all know that and that is the message that she delivers. Not sure how much else there is to be learnt from her though.

LynetteScavo · 09/08/2011 09:03

YABU...lots of people effectively parent children who happen to have issues (through no fault of the parent) effectively with out being so controlling. Not everybody needs to learn how to parent.

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