to ask for help - timeout chaos! Is Supernanny out there?

[LifeIsButtercream]

WWYD?
My DD is 2, she has been in time out for 2 hours (yep thats hours). She was put in time out for hitting and I've been going to her every 2 minutes (according to egg timer) and explaining to her why she is there and asking her to say sorry. She knows what sorry means and usually says it happily then its back to normal.

Today my requests for a sorry are met with a point-blank "no". Or I'm laughed at...........

I feel like I can't back down and let her off the step because she will only learn that I eventually give up and she doesnt have to apologise for her actions. She isn't distressed, just sitting there humming to herself.

WWYD? I mean, I know she is stubborn, but this is riduculous! Her tea is sitting her getting cold.

FWIW, I do know that I'm a rubbish mum!

Little pickle!

If you want her to say sorry (not that she'll mean it, but you might want to get her into the habit), then perhaps a choice between saying sorry or giving a cuddle for sorry might work better.

Agree that, on this occasion, she's long forgotten what she did. That bottle of wine does sound good

I don't think you sound like a bad mum. Two year olds are incredibly testing. If they are strong willed, (my DS was) then naughty steps, or any batt;e of wills punishments don't work, as they pit theirwill against yours, and since they have nothing to do all day but pit their will, whilst you clean, shop, cook, etc - they win.

I used Jane Nelson's Positive Parenting ideas instead, which sound very wishy washy because there's no punishment involved, but they get rid of battles of will over night. So when DC hits or is vile, you remove them to a quiet chair that isn't a naughty chair. Make it cosy, with a cuddly toy, blanket and a book, and tell them you saw they were very upset or they wouldn't have hurt someone. When they feel better and decide they are ready to make friends again they can get off the chair for a cuddle, as soon as they are ready. Then leave them to it. That way the effort is all theirs but they don't feel they've lost face. Sometimes my son was off the chair straightaway, and sometimes he stayed for up to an hour, feeling very upset but learning to calm himself down, unaided and unpunished. And after all - why punish a very young child who is trying, and learning, to control negative emotions?

What we really want is good humour and loving happy relationships with DC. This method allows it instead of turning parenting into some loggerheads of petty punishments. Our battles of will dissolved instantly and my tense, cross toddler became cuddly overnight. It works like magic. Worth a try if you are exhausted. The key to it is trusting your child to regulate her own behaviour and mood, allowing her time to calm down, and giving her the responsibility to say sorry because she wants to not because it's part of the punishment (which is a pretty worthless apology anyway.)

Sorry this is long but I think it's worth a shot as your DD sounds as strong willed as my DS and it worked a dream on him.

i think the apology bit is wrong.It's nice to give them an opportunity to say they are sorry if they are.But what if they're not.A forced insincere apology is worth nothing.
Feelings come unbidden and what if the child isn't sorry? everyone is entitled to their feelings.You are making them say something that isn't true.

I'm a Real Nanny - I don't use timeout.

Show displeasure, then redirect them on to something else. If they want something to hit, give them a pillow/cushion.

Take a step back and look at the situation, how has it come about. Is your DD tired, anxious, bored, after attention, hungry. Young children can find it hard to express what they want and may resort to doing things to get your attention.