DS: overcrowded, noisy, hot: 8 beds with one bathroom - no bath, just a shower/toilet/sink in one small space. I had just had a 28 hour labour with massive epesiotomy, ventouse delivery and waaay too much epidural (made delivery even harder) so couldn't find my legs.
Was told
a) no painkillers as they didn't know where my drugs chart was, and no drs around until the morning (was 7pm when I got onto the ward)
b) that dh had to leave at 8pm
c) no dinner as I hadn't ordered the day before 

d) no help with anything - no BF support despite repeated requests, no help with baby: " you don't get help unless you've had a C-section" "but I still can't stand from the epidural" "no, you don't get help unless you've had a c-section"
It was at the point I was phoning my parents to bring in painkillers (and making them hurry as they wouldn't be allowed in unless they got there in 30 mins) that it dawned on me and DH that being there might be utterly pointless.
So we asked why we were staying. Apparently its 'standard practise' after a ventouse delivery. Thats all.
So we phoned a friend. Luckily several of our friends are paediatricians. They confirmed there was no reason to stay and offered to be on-call for us if required...and one of them lives 200 yards away.
So we self-discharged, which they totally hated, and went home. Hurrah.
For DD1 and DD2 we went to an entirely different hospital and managed to get our own separate broom cupboard room each time.