To Ask for your experiences of post natal wards

[RozziPringle]

Mine was Noisy and hot with incredibly overworked midwives. The most memorable incident was around 12 hours after a c-section i was made to get out of bed to walk along 5 corridors to shower, doubled over in agony. When i told the widwife i wasnt going to make it and i felt faint she tutted and muttered about me been lazy under her breath.
There were some fantastic midwives Don't get me wrong but they seemed few and far between.
Im due to give birth in 3 weeks and im dreading going through all this again

[allhailtheaubergine]

oiwheresthecoffee - it's more than exhaustion. I had been in labour for 48 hours, on a cocktail of drugs, had haemorrhaged, had one completely dead, 'rubber' leg, was wearing a hospital gown which I had bled onto through my disposable pants and industrial maternity pad and was limping down an unfamiliar hospital corridor in the middle of the night feeling desperately anxious about leaving my brand new baby for the 5 minutes it would take me to wee through my newly grazed and stitched fanjo. I wobbled and leaned against the wall to steady my self. Funnily enough I didn't have a sharp comeback for the midwife who berated me for getting out of bed and manhandled me back to bed. I may have managed to weep silently after she had gone.

I have never been so vulnerable in my life.

[magicmelons]

I need to print this off, I have been writing myself a list of why I need to stay strong and have a home birth, this is my 3rd dc and so far have had very similar experiences to most of these posts my main points would be, Rude careworkers and mw to many incidents to go through but wad told I was stupid and should no better for putting a hat on ds despite the fact it was put on on labour ward and I just never took it off, it was June. Mw refusing to get me a bedpan as she said the labour ward mw should have done it I lay there for hours desperate for a wee begging to be allowed walk to the toilet (I'd had an epidural that only worked on 1 leg) she waited until the same mw brought another patient to the ward and them made her take me. Being shouted at by care worker for using my mobile despite mw saying it was ok to ring my dh. Being washed aggressively by clearly pissed off support worker despite me saying I'd rather do it myself.

Severe lack of food, you only got breakfast if you went into a dayroom( without baby) because of leg incident/baby that wouldn't settle etc I missed so many meals. Funnily enough the day after ds was born they discovered he had a heart murmur, I got a private room and suddenly everyone was alot nicer.

[pippitysqueakity]

Also bear in mind, experiences are massively heightened by being post-birth. Not to diminish anyone's experiences, it is all too much post-partum. Hence no complaints made and probably why these things happen, because mind blowing thought they are, they are all peripheral to the fact of the BABY!
Not sure am explaining that right, and I think post natal care should be completely overhauled and far more empathetic, but, maybe is just me, but everything was in 3D and Surround sound, and just so HARD those first few days...
People ready to have their babes maybe need to plan for that, wherever they are.
My post natal care was meh at best, bullying at worst, and sending me home home with no pain relief after EMSC, not good.
But...I feel all that looking back, at the time I was just looking at the wonder who is DD2 and swatting away stuff(crying with pain when passed clot bigger than the babe after being told to try walking, etc) because there is just so much going on. It all becomes a jumble. As is this post. Sorry.

[SecretSquirrels]

All this is very familiar and mine were born in 1996 and 1998. I had to stay in 2 nights in both cases.
Dirty toilets, unpleasant and unhelpful midwives, noise , misery.
I would never consider home birth though. I had 2 very straightforward labours but both babies were in some difficulties at the end. If I had not been in hospital I am certain we would have lost one or both of them.

[NoobyNoob]

allhail your post made me get a lump in my throat.

It makes me want to hug you.

[magicmelons]

Oh, I did complain. Got a letter of apology, looked like a standard letter though and nothing had changed when I was there the next time so I doubt it was worth it.

[messybedhead]

With DD it was the worst experience of my life and I was traumatised afterwards. The attitudes and behaviour of the staff (night staff are worst so God help anyone who gives birth after 7pm) were disgusting and treated us like animals.

This was St. Mary's hospital Paddington.
Their pre-natal care was shocking actually too.

When I found out I was expecting DS I was petrified but luckily I was able to have him in their new MLU Birth Centre. I remember at one point they sent me upstairs to be monitored and I went a bit crazy- crying and shaking because I did not want to have to go on the post natal ward there.

Unsurprisingly the horrible midwife shouted at me about not knowing what I had to come (thinking I was crying in pain and not because I was on the Labour ward).

If I couldn't have DS in the birthing centre I honestly don't know what I would have done. I remember at the time there was a scare of a very high death rate due to resuscitation equipment not working, and lots of people advised me not to use the MLU but I made the decision and put my sanity over my baby's health.

I had 1 to 1 care, clean en-Suite rOom with a double bed where they encouraged partners to stay. I was treated like a human being and it was wonderful and I bonded much easier with DS than DD.

I don't know what point I am trying to make really, apart from that yes post natal care on the whole in this country is shocking, and I think most women do not complain because its like admitting we could not cope and were weak.

There is no way I would ever ever ever go on a post-natal ward ever again.

[oiwheresthecoffee]

all thats awful im sorry. I didnt mean anything by the comment , i just noticed a few posters mentioning they had been a bit stroppy and wondered it it helped.

[spiggy]

Mixed. It was hot, noisy and the food was awful. The woman in the bed next to be had what seemed like her entire extended family visit. But I had help with bfing at 4am when I panicked I wasn't doing it right and I got given a private room when I threatened to discharge myself as I couldn't cope with the noise from all the visitors. I was encouraged to co-sleep and helped when DS would not stop screaming. They offered to look after him while I got some sleep (but I refused). The worst part for me was that it seemed utterly wrong that DP was not allowed to stay with me all night. DC2 was an unplanned hb and the mw who turned up to deal with the placenta asked if I wanted to go in for postnatal. I did not! It was so much better to be in my own bed, with my own bath, food I liked and DP on call that I went hb with DC3 as well. My postnatal ward sounds a hell of a lot better than some but I would still have to have serious complications for me to ever agree to stay there ever again.

[catgirl1976]

I think it is awful that DPs are sent away. In the event I have to stay on a post natal ward, DH will not be leaving my side. I don't do this going along with what you are told in hospitals.

[PumpkinBones]

Mine was the Princess Anne in Southampton, of One Born Every Minute fame...

I do appreciate what AtYourCervix describes in terms of workload, etc, but that situation is not the fault of the vulnerable women being "cared" for on postnatal wards. It takes exactly as long to speak to someone rudely as it does to do it politely.

For the sake of balance I should say with each delivery I did meet one nice staff member, the first time a nursery nurse who looked after DS1 on my second nights, and a midwife who washed me and my baby in recovery, and with DS2 a lovely, lovely HCA who cared for me pre and post section and was clearly absolutely dedicated, I felt lucky she was there.

[PumpkinBones]

catgirl they don't let your DH stay on the ward with you post baby, and whilst I wouldn't let DH leave me whilst in labour with DS1, as they tried to suggest, I couldn't insist he was on the ward after - there are 4 other women who have just had babies, I myself wouldn't have been comfortable with their partners being there.

[WillbeanChariot]

AYC I feel your pain. I'm not a HCP but I work in a publicly funded area where the pressure is high and the expectations don't match the resources. It sounds like an impossible job.

I also strongly feel that postnatal care would not be so crap if men had to endure it somehow...

My experience was not too bad but they were definitely short of staff. The MWs were largely doing their best. I will never forget the very kind MCA who gave me a bed bath the morning after my CS, she was wonderful. They couldn't wait to get me out though, I was discharged after about 40 hours and I don't think I would have been fit to look after a baby.

There are some really simple things that are easy and cheap to change though. My DS was in NICU fighting for his life and I was surrounded by happy visiting families and women with crying babies. It wouldn't be so hard to put all the women with sick babies together instead of spread around. And I wish I had told the Bounty lady to fuck off. But that is a whole other thread...

[LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn]

AtYourCervix now your name makes sense

[catgirl1976]

pumpkin you can insist. They cannot actually physically make your DH leave. They tried to do this with my boss when his son was born He pointed out that despite what they might think they were not in a prison and he was bound to honour thier visiting hours. I have told them "no" when they tried to make my DH leave when I was ill. I wanted him with me and couldn't really have given a damn about visiting hours.

[Georgimama]

Awful, awful, awful. The auxiliaries were without exception lovely and couldn't do enough for you, and indeed seemed to do most of the actual nursing. I can only conclude the MWs were the ones not deemed suitable to be near labouring women due to having no intrapersonal skills or compassion whatsoever. No one told me the arrangements for anything, meaning I had no breakfast and was shouted at for not taking DS with me to the shower.

Hell really is other people - especially all the children/partners of other patients who set up camp around the bedside for 10 hours and take no notice of the fact visiting ends at 8pm . Am praying an amenity room will be available this time.

[Lisatheonewhoeatsdrytoast]

I absolutely hated mine, i actually went on to have post-traumatic stress diagnosed later on all because of my 5 days in the hell hole! I had pre-eclampsia, a 4lb 10oz DS and an emergency section, on top of that i already have mobility difficulties and illness and i was not helped ONCE! In fact, i was shouted at on a number of occasions about my baby not feeding enough, i'm not doing it right kind of thing, which left me sitting on day 2 of hell hole, sobbing my heart out to a ward assistant, who then suggested i tried FF, which was brilliant for me. Tho i still got shouted at for not doing correctly?!

Anyway for those who said did anyone not say anything, i can only say once you have your baby, you are incredibly vulnerable and sensitive and the normal you seems to disappear, i was a wreck of a woman by the time i left!

I still have only 1 DS i would love another, but the thought of doing it all again actually leaves me in a cold sweat!

[Georgimama]

catgirl they can make your partner leave. They can call security. Or the police. If you want to be with your DH that much, discharge yourself.

[allhailtheaubergine]

It's okay oiwheres. I guess it just helps to explain why people often don't complain or get stroppy, and sadly also why some midwives know they can get away with being rude and unhelpful.

It was certainly a low, but I survived and am now expecting the next one so no lasting damage done .

[northernrock]

Pippity True, everything is heightened, but at least two of the things that happened to me are on my hospital discharge records and were life threatening.

I am all for a campaign.
One that makes sure MW's are properly trained for one thing. And one that ensures there are enough doctors and trained midwives to cope with their jobs.
Pay MW a lot more, I reckon.

And we should def name and shame bad hospitals.
As I said: THE WHITTINGTON. Dont got there.

[MrsTumbles]

With the exception of the BF nurse who wouldn't let me see my family, I have to say that the staff were lovely, but there wasn't anywhere near enough of them. I got moved into a private room without requesting it, which I know to most people would have seemed like a godsend, but due to ridiculous restrictions on visiting I was on my own for 22 hours a day for 7 days (I got re-admitted after a day at home due to a botched stitch job and subsequent infection). And I was scared, this was my 1st time!

I did complain when I left, as there were so many other issues that filled 5 pages of A4, but surprisingly all my notes got ?lost? therefore they couldn?t comment on anything. After months of fighting the hospital and being in constant agony from my back that they buggered up too, I regretfully gave up after a year as it was seriously affecting my mental health.

[messybedhead]

Also I don't know if this is standard, but I remember they used to put labouring women onto the antenatal wards.

After 8pm, so the family had to go home. The girl was about 16 and crying hysterically, and they made her sit on the bed in our ward and sent the DP and her mum home. They gave her gas and air but nothing else as 'there was nothing wrong with her she was only a few cm dilated' You wouldn't treat a dog like that.

I remember her family lived a long way away and she was frightened they wouldn't make it back in time but they just laughed at her and treated her like she was stupid.

I don't care how busy and short-staffed these MWs are, there is absolutely no excuse for them being rude and patronising. In fact the best word to describe them is bully.

[catgirl1976]

They have never called security when I have done it (albeit not on a PN ward but I know others who have refused). I think they ususally just give in.

[northernrock]

And why ARE women in labour treated like fucking idiots?
I found the attitude to be almost "well, you got youself into this state, don't come crying to us!"
And I was really stoic in labour. I asked for no support at all, just stayed in a corner moo-ing quietly!