It's 10 years and more since I gave birth to premature twins after an emergency C-section under general anaesthetic. The best experience of my life - having my sons - was also one of the very worst. I was in hospital 19 days - alone, (no partner and no family) and relied soleyl on the cleaning staff to see that I got any meals. What was headed for a natural birth - after 12 hrs labour without even gas and air - became mass intervention because of the frequent changes of staff and the anaesthetist at the end who had a stand up row in the room with other staff and then couldn't find the part of my spine to put inthe local anaesthetic - so knocked me out with a general.
There are so many parts that were just horrible....like many others, being forced to overdo it physically, so that at one point, my C-section re-opened when I was int he loo and when I pulled the emergency cord, they suggested the blood was menstrual...although when they saw it welling out of my stomach, they conceded I was right and they were wrong....one set of staff would tell me NOT to do too much and to let the nurses care for the babies...the next shift would tell me off for not looking after my babies by myself...the other shift would return and tell me off for overdoing it...
Those 19 days in hospital, I barely slept more than 20 mins at a time for no more than 3 periods in each 24 and I was hallucinating with lack of sleep and crying all the time. I had no clothes for the babies and had to rely on hospital clothes and my own 2 nightdresses got stained and messed and only after 14 days did anyone suggest the hospital might lend me something else....
I nearly fainted in the shower....I was told off for persisting with trying to breastfeed and told it would be impossible....I was told my babies couldn't feel any pain when their gatsro-nasal tubes were changed at times....I heard my babies screaming, unattended, at night in the nightnursery and after a few days, despite barely having slept, having had a general aneasthetic and a C-section, no one to support me and virtually no food, my mothering instinct made me try to take over full care of my sons, so they wouldn't suffer anymore....
The main nurse was nasty and bossy and spilled water over the only photos I had of my twins - the first ones taken when they were C-sectioned out of me - so v v precious....another woman's baby got mistaken for someone elses and given to the wrong mother.....
Yet this was/is a v prestigious teaching hospital (won't say where) and gets accolades for its care! Before I went in, I tried everything to pay for my own private midwife to come in with me but the hospital didn't let you do this. Instead, I got 27, I repeat 27! changes of nurse/midwife across the 12 hrs I was in labour. there was no continuity of care.
Basically it was pure hell and I always now say to anyone just don't go into hospital alone, without an advocate, even if you have to pay someone to do this, if you're alone like me.
Ten years on, I remember the trauma of it all, which coloured the first 5 yrs of life of my twins. When I heard the other day someone on R4 speaking about the horrendous treatment they'd had at hospital for their cancer therapy, my heart went out to them and I thought - my God, at least mine wasn't as bad as that, when giving birth...but it was still absolutely horrible.