by being sick?

[Maggy78]

Bit of background: I live at home (moved back in to save for house, moving out in 7 weeks). We live in the country and neither of my parents drive.

Last night my Mum asked would I take her and Dad to the graveyard mass for my Nan, which is tonight. I said no problem. Today I had soup for lunch and have been feeling really nauseous ever since. The graveyard is in the middle of no where with no toilets and I really don't feel up to driving for 40 minutes, standing for an hour and then driving 40 minutes back home.

So I called home to let parents know (there was a chance they could organise a lift with either my mums sister or Dads brother). Anyway my Dad answered the phone and I told him. He didn't say much. My Mum called me back bout half an hour later asking was I ok, and then telling me my Dad was in very bad form. I asked why and it's because I can't take them!! I said it to Mum that it's not like I planned on being sick and I usually take them and she said I didn't take them last year either (which I honestly don't remember but she obviously does)

Now I know there's going to be an atmosphere when I go home. My parents are VERY old fashioned and as I'm an only child basically I should do everything for them. But sometimes it's just physically not possible.

AM I being unreasonable?

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

If you don't take them this year then, given that this will be the second year in a row that you have let them down, the very least you can do is arrange and pay for a taxi to take your dps to the cemetary and for another to collect them an hour later.

Feeling nauseous doesn't inevitably result in both ends erupting WhoseGotMyEyebrows It could be that the OP has a 'thing' about cemetaries and/or graveside masses, or maybe they fancy a quiet night in with the tv.

[geraldinetheluckygoat]

Werid, insane Mumsnet.

I am finding all the, "Take gaviscon! Take a bucket! Be sick behind the car!!" advice hillarious! For goodness sake, if you are about to vomit, of course you shouldn't be driving people about, it's dangerous! Have you ever been in a car when the driver is suddenly and violently sick? I have, it was not pretty, and was on a busy dual carriage way, we had to do an emergency stop on the hard shoulder, it was horrific!!

Go home to bed. offer to order a taxi, or arrange something else for your parents, but if you are really ill, of course you can't do it yourself.

[DesperatelySeekingSedatives]

YANBU and I think some other posters have been a bit harsh!

Nothing worse than feeling sick imo (other than being sick) and it's all very well saying "oh take a sick bag" but what is the OP going to do if ahem, vomiting isn't the issue? Sickbag will be no good really, will it?

Could you personally arrange for someone else to take your parents OP? I'm sure if you explained how ill you felt a family member would understand? A bit better than some of the people on here anyway...

[halcyondays]

Depends on the person, izzy. I very rarely feel nauseous but when I do it generally does end in both ends erupting. Dh on the other hand quite often feels a bit sick but often nothing comes of it.

[controlpantsandgladrags]

Gosh some of you have got some odd opinions. What if she is developing a sickness bug and starts puking/shitting everywhere? It could be easily passed on to her parents and anyone else she comes into contact with.

Unless you feel better before it's time to go OP, I wouldn't go.

[BootyMum]

Well, without knowing the OP personally it is difficult to know if she is the type of person to let others down on the merest suggestion of illness as she "just doesn't feel up to it". I know someone like this and it is very irritating....

But similarly, I also wouldn't want a friend/family member to be truly feeling unwell and feel they had to drag themselves to do a promised favour for me as they couldn't possibly let me down or I would be cross...

So OP, which is it? Do you feel you have previous form for letting your parents down on a whim or are you normally quite reliable and your parents are being entirely unreasonable in their expectations of you?

It's interesting, but I didn't get a sense that the OP was the unreliable sort as you did oldredeyes
However I did wonder if parents expect more from OP now [to be paid back] for having her stay with them as she saves for a house...

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy But both ends might explode!

[WhereYouLeftIt]

As someone who tends to explode from both ends simultaneously (TMI, I know) when unwell, there is no way I would get into the car for 40 mins, stay somewhere for 1 hour and then another 40 mins back - that's 2 hours 20 mins total out of range of a toilet. And I usuallly want a toilet all to myself, to boot.

So IMO, YANBU.

It's all very well to say 'it's only nausea, you haven't actually vomitted', but you can never tell when it will tip over to vomitting. And a long car journey would do it for me. How would OP's parent feel if OP did take them and vomitted graveside?

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

Generally speaking do you do things for your parents? Do you feel that they expect you to do too much? Do you feel put upon? I was wondering if you feel they take advantage. If you are really ill then it's unreasonable of them to be so harsh with you if you can't chauffeur them around give them lifts.

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

Hardly the same sort of situation janitor. Her parents have other options for lifts and . . . er . . . there are no bombs!

[BootyMum]

I'm sure the OP would have coped in the blitz. She would have had no choice!

However this is a situation where she does have a little more choice and imo it is entirely reasonable that someone feeling ill should choose to stay at home, close to a toilet and bed!

I assume that all you people talking about blitz spirit and stoicism are the types that go to work/prior engagements regardless of any illness and happily infect the rest of us with your colds/flu/stomach viruses...

Cheers for that!

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

So being ill is wussy?

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

I agree Booty. Why would someone chose to risk shitting their pants sitting in a car or puking all over a graveyard when there are other options!

[sootytotherescue]

YANBU if you genuinely feel unwell to the point of vomiting. I wouldn't go if I was going to vomit, I can get on with any other ailment, but vomiting is a big no for me.

[allhailtheaubergine]

No sympathy from me I'm afraid. I have thrown up seven times already today and will probably throw up again before bed. Despite this I have done a supermarket shop with a 5 and a 3 year old in tow, done the housework and visited a friend. I have carrier bags in my handbag for emergencies.

Morning sickness here, not anything contagious.

You could manage it op and it sounds important to your parents. Take a bucket and listen to the radio in the car while you wait.

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

Exactly, janitor - that nauseating drone....

I had a cappucino earlier which made me feel distinctly queasy, but I'll resist the temptation to call an ambulance and stagger to the tube station so that I can shelter from all these exploding bombs

[BootyMum]

Oh, I give up!

Some of you are taking British stiff upper lip to ridiculous levels.

It's actually become quite competitive... Who's is/has been sicker than OP and still managed supermarket shop with 4 littlies under 3 years in the middle of a war zone...

Ah, the British, ya gotta love 'em.

[TheMagnificentBathykolpian]

It's not competative. Most people just can't take to their beds at the first little thing. You have to just get on with it. Actually being ill is one thing. Temperature. Being sick. Stomach pains... Feeling a bit queasy is nothing. You shake it off and you get on with things.

If she was saying she had a fever, had actually been sick, was in pain... that would be quite different, that you could say is someone who is ill. But the description of the symptoms was simply - trivial. A bit nauseous is not a big deal. It's just not.

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

But the description of the symptoms was simply - trivial. A bit nauseous is not a big deal. It's just not.

So you've never experieced nausea before being sick then or before developing diarrhea? Nausea is the warning that it's coming! Ignore that at your peril!