by being sick?

[Maggy78]

Bit of background: I live at home (moved back in to save for house, moving out in 7 weeks). We live in the country and neither of my parents drive.

Last night my Mum asked would I take her and Dad to the graveyard mass for my Nan, which is tonight. I said no problem. Today I had soup for lunch and have been feeling really nauseous ever since. The graveyard is in the middle of no where with no toilets and I really don't feel up to driving for 40 minutes, standing for an hour and then driving 40 minutes back home.

So I called home to let parents know (there was a chance they could organise a lift with either my mums sister or Dads brother). Anyway my Dad answered the phone and I told him. He didn't say much. My Mum called me back bout half an hour later asking was I ok, and then telling me my Dad was in very bad form. I asked why and it's because I can't take them!! I said it to Mum that it's not like I planned on being sick and I usually take them and she said I didn't take them last year either (which I honestly don't remember but she obviously does)

Now I know there's going to be an atmosphere when I go home. My parents are VERY old fashioned and as I'm an only child basically I should do everything for them. But sometimes it's just physically not possible.

AM I being unreasonable?

[JosieRosie]

I just cannot believe some of the responses on here. Be sick behind the car? Neck some Gaviscon? TAKE A BUCKET????

OP, you have my full and total sympathy. I was ill on Monday - toilet troubles plus fever, as well as nausea that I was sure would lead to vomiting (but didn't, phew!). I got zero sympathy from my sister who seemed to think I was milking the situation and being a martyr. It really makes you feel so much worse. Only you know your family situation, but my advice would be do not be guilt-tripped into doing things you do not feel up to. Sometimes you do need to put yourself first
Hope you feel better

[2rebecca]

Did you go? It all sounds a bit bizarrely last minute. I would think a mass in the middle of nowhere takes some arranging so your parents only asking you to take them on Monday night seems a bit odd. What was their back up plan if you said no? Is this your gran's funeral service or an anniversary of her death thing?
I think there are some jobs you could still do if feeling sick but that driving when feeling sick is unpleasant so don't agree with those who say if you can do one you can do the other.
What would your parents have done if you weren't living with them?

[twinklingfairy]

oh, hang on this was yesterday. The church thing was last night.
Did OP go?

[twinklingfairy]

Are you still at work?
How bad is it?
DO you feel you have to run to the loo for fear of throwing up or just an upset tummy.
I guess it depends on how bad the nausea is.
Maybe it is just the nerves at the thought of doing something that you don;'t really want to, not the soup at all.
Just a thought.

[twinklingfairy]

If the curch is in the middle of nowhere then you can be sick behind a wall, into some bushes, somewhere.
I would rather that than toilets. Other than my own, they all smell ich, make the being sick worse ( not saying mine is spotless or perfect, just that I know my own toilet. Sounds weird, but I had really bad Morning Sickness, like Aubergine and it is much better to be sick in your own toilet than anyone elses.)
What I am saying is, if you are ok to drive, just feel queasy, and have somewhere to be sick (side of a field, don't forget tissues) should you need and it is important to your parents...yada yada

[lisianthus]

Nausea is horrible. YANBU.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Now I know where all the martyrs were hanging out last night...

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

But the description of the symptoms was simply - trivial. A bit nauseous is not a big deal. It's just not.

So you've never experieced nausea before being sick then or before developing diarrhea? Nausea is the warning that it's coming! Ignore that at your peril!

[TheMagnificentBathykolpian]

It's not competative. Most people just can't take to their beds at the first little thing. You have to just get on with it. Actually being ill is one thing. Temperature. Being sick. Stomach pains... Feeling a bit queasy is nothing. You shake it off and you get on with things.

If she was saying she had a fever, had actually been sick, was in pain... that would be quite different, that you could say is someone who is ill. But the description of the symptoms was simply - trivial. A bit nauseous is not a big deal. It's just not.

[BootyMum]

Oh, I give up!

Some of you are taking British stiff upper lip to ridiculous levels.

It's actually become quite competitive... Who's is/has been sicker than OP and still managed supermarket shop with 4 littlies under 3 years in the middle of a war zone...

Ah, the British, ya gotta love 'em.

[izzywhizzyletsgetbusy]

Exactly, janitor - that nauseating drone....

I had a cappucino earlier which made me feel distinctly queasy, but I'll resist the temptation to call an ambulance and stagger to the tube station so that I can shelter from all these exploding bombs

[allhailtheaubergine]

No sympathy from me I'm afraid. I have thrown up seven times already today and will probably throw up again before bed. Despite this I have done a supermarket shop with a 5 and a 3 year old in tow, done the housework and visited a friend. I have carrier bags in my handbag for emergencies.

Morning sickness here, not anything contagious.

You could manage it op and it sounds important to your parents. Take a bucket and listen to the radio in the car while you wait.

[sootytotherescue]

YANBU if you genuinely feel unwell to the point of vomiting. I wouldn't go if I was going to vomit, I can get on with any other ailment, but vomiting is a big no for me.

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

I agree Booty. Why would someone chose to risk shitting their pants sitting in a car or puking all over a graveyard when there are other options!

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

So being ill is wussy?

[BootyMum]

I'm sure the OP would have coped in the blitz. She would have had no choice!

However this is a situation where she does have a little more choice and imo it is entirely reasonable that someone feeling ill should choose to stay at home, close to a toilet and bed!

I assume that all you people talking about blitz spirit and stoicism are the types that go to work/prior engagements regardless of any illness and happily infect the rest of us with your colds/flu/stomach viruses...

Cheers for that!

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

Hardly the same sort of situation janitor. Her parents have other options for lifts and . . . er . . . there are no bombs!

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

Generally speaking do you do things for your parents? Do you feel that they expect you to do too much? Do you feel put upon? I was wondering if you feel they take advantage. If you are really ill then it's unreasonable of them to be so harsh with you if you can't chauffeur them around give them lifts.

[WhereYouLeftIt]

As someone who tends to explode from both ends simultaneously (TMI, I know) when unwell, there is no way I would get into the car for 40 mins, stay somewhere for 1 hour and then another 40 mins back - that's 2 hours 20 mins total out of range of a toilet. And I usuallly want a toilet all to myself, to boot.

So IMO, YANBU.

It's all very well to say 'it's only nausea, you haven't actually vomitted', but you can never tell when it will tip over to vomitting. And a long car journey would do it for me. How would OP's parent feel if OP did take them and vomitted graveside?

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

izzywhizzyletsgetbusy But both ends might explode!