think that the eleven plus forum is one of the scariest places on the web

[reallytired]

smug mum alert

My son has done well in his year 4 SATs and averaging 4B in most subjects. I was thinking of letting him try for the grammar school in year 6, but I can't afford tutoring. I decided to have a look on the web.

This site is scary. www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/

It appears I have left it too late to prepare my son. I don't think I want my son to work so hard. He likes his music.

This thread is 10 years old. OP’s son is probably at university now!

@reallytired

"Even if he doesn't pass, the preparation and the actual experience of taking the test will benefit him later."

How? Surely he was just be disappointed and his confidence might be hit. Failing the 11 plus was bad for my confidence as my parents had invested so much effort in preparation and they were clearly devestated. Disappointing my parents was the worst thing about failing the eleven plus. It made me feel a failure on so many levels. I don't want my son to feel like I did at ten years old.

I think its pointless tutoring a child for a grammar school exam for years. Either they are eleven plus material or they are not. I can't helping thinking that practicing music is more benefical to my son than practicing verbal or numerical reasoning. At least he would gain a skill that would give him pleasure as an adult.

The only reason I am looking at website is that HE wants to do the eleven plus.

Surely if we don't expose our children to experiences in case they 'fail' they will achieve nothing. Yes they will be disappointed but your experience of disappointing your parents will guide you into not reacting like that.
In all walks of life people work very hard but don't make the grade, maybe point out to him that footballers, or other sports people, work hard but they can't all be in the national team or win a gold medal. I always feel so sorry for those 100m runners at the Olympics who go out in the first round! All that work for 10 seconds.

Just seen the date, whoops!

My ds sounds similar. He is in secondary now and in the top sets..he is bright and I put him in for the eleven plus. He failed by a few points. He just wasn't interested...he cared only about football at the time. I didn't get him tutoring...did it myself. I reckon I could have got him to pass if I'd paid for tutoring and really really pushed him but it actually didn't seem worth it.

I know most people tutor for the 11+ round here, starting in Y5 or even Y4. My DD's best friend's mum has got a tutor for her DD now (Y4) and often mentions how much she hopes the girls will go to the local grammar school together. I'm not sure my DD is academic, though. I'm planning on asking her teacher's opinion at the next parent/teacher meeting and if she thinks she has a shot give her a little tutoring over the Summer holidays to see how she does/whether she would like to take the exam. I would then look at a tutor if she does want to do it and I think it would be worth her taking it. The thing is the other secondary schools within walking distance don't have good reputations. Lots of DC from her school will either go to Grammar or if they don't get in to one of the 2 private schools nearby. Not an option for us unfortunately.

That site is a commercial crammer business which makes money from scaring gullible parents.

@Mumalsoasfriend

Agree

You've bumped a ten year old thread.

@kowari Indeed.

Having been through the fun that is 11 plus I heartily agree that there is a scary cohort trying to get into the super selective schools. The one I looked at kept banging on about how it wasn't tutorable and they were a very diverse school. Yes they had a diverse range of pushy parents. As for the untutorable nonsense that is rubbish. The exams are such that only if you have done some form of preparation will you stand a chance. But on another note to the op, year 4 isn't too late. We did manage to get in to 11 plus schools with home tutoring by us with online papers, only staring in year 5.

Yes it’s like the dark web! The 11+ is such an ignorant, archaic system too. Talk about not ‘following the science’, the premise of the 11+ has not kept up with knowledge of neurodevelopment whatsoever. The only thing the 11+ predicts is whether the kid can go to x school or not at age 11. It means nothing more. I wouldn’t worry about it.

You really truly don't have to tutor them for years. But unless the exams have changed, you do have to tutor them, just to familiarise them with the kinds of questions that crop up. There's a knack to them. Things that seem incomprehensible at first are quickly solvable after a few practise papers. My DC got in on an hour's tutoring a week, plus an hour either doing a practise paper or writing an essay (more like 10 mins on those ones . Two hours a week is not pressure.

The child who is the subject of this thread is 19, so I don't think the OP requires any more advice or input on this particular decision.

@Ironoaks

The child who is the subject of this thread is 19, so I don't think the OP requires any more advice or input on this particular decision.

LOL! How did it get revived?

But on another note to the op, year 4 isn't too late. We did manage to get in to 11 plus schools with home tutoring by us with online papers, only staring in year 5.

Definitely too late now; this thread is 10 years old!

@Ironoaks

The child who is the subject of this thread is 19, so I don't think the OP requires any more advice or input on this particular decision.

Sounds like worthy of a longitudinal study. How are those kids in thread now?