to only buy ONE GIFT???

[Sewmuchtodo]

DC1 has been invited to a birthday party on Friday. Birthday child (8) is having a joint party with their sibling (5) as their birthdays are a few weeks apart.

DC is friends with one of the children and says hi to the other but birthday child(ren)s mum seems to think that both DC's will recieve a gift from each person invited......AIBU to think that if my DC take a card for each and a gift for the child DC is friends with then that is enough?

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

And it works out to be rather expensive too - I have one son in year 1 and another in reception. We've been to a lot of parties this year, about half of them were joint (children in same class, I bought two presents as they were both friends). On a couple of occasions boy 1 has been at one party while boy 2 has been at another. Husband and I flip coin to see who gets the easiest option.

Am hoping it will dwindle next year as the "whole class party" thing seems to tail off as they get older.

[pinkhebe]

4 boys had a joint party and invited the whole class, we were asked to bring 1 present, and they were shared out between the birthday boys.

I've done joint birthday parties for my 2 (1 week apart) and apart from family friends, people only bring a present for the child they are friends with. If you want to, take something like a cheap colouring book for the younger sibling

[Hufflepuzzpig]

What was the other thread please? I must have missed it.

[PaperBank]

How do you know that "the birthday child(ren)s mum seems to think that both DC's will recieve a gift from each person invited"?

[COCKadoodledooo]

In the case of a joint siblings party, where one of your children is friends with one of the siblings then yup, I'd say one present (2 cards though) was appropriate. Maybe a small gift for the younger one if you were feeling generous or wanted to suck up to the mother. If your child is friends with both children then a present each.

Ds1 has friends who are twins - he is friends with both of them, so when he was invited to their party they got a present each (they both enjoy different things so a joint one wouldn't have suited).

Ds1 has been invited to a few joint (non-sibling) parties. I can honestly say it never occurred to me not to get each child a present - after all, I would have done had they had separate parties. Just don't get that mindset at all.

[Sewmuchtodo]

Hufflepuzzpig I don't know what the other thread is either. This is definately my first party dilema thread.

Pushy mum was at school this morning telling us all how stressed she is about Friday as she has so much to organise

I thought I would be sure I wasn't getting the wrong end of the stick so said I was off to get some shopping, could she tell me what size her DC1 was in a t-shirt or top as my DC had said they liked spiderman and a well known supermarket is doing nice spiderman t-shirts. Her reply was......"DC1 is 8-10 as tall and DC2 is only 4-5 as not had a spurt like DC1 did at that age. DC2 loves batman, never really seen spiderman. Don't worry too much, if you pop in the receipt I can always exchange anything that dosn't fit!"

[PaperBank]

You may have taken her the wrong way (sounds like you already don't like her and would like excuses to confirm why?)

Maybe she was just making conversation about how fast her DCs were growing? And the receipt thing just sounds like she was wanting you to not spend too long at the supermarket on her behalf.

Try seeing her in a different light.

[sunnydelight]

I'm not really sure how you could possibly take what she said to mean anything other than the fact that she was clearly expecting presents for both kids PaperBank - something spiderman for DC1 and batman for DC2. I'm all for encouraging different perspectives but sometimes your gut instincts, eg. this woman is a cheeky mare, are spot on!

The bringing uninvited kids along inevitably backfires after a while - I have never invited a particular child to DD's birthday parties as her mum is well known for ALWAYS coming, and staying, with a badly bahaved younger sibling in tow. She would have definitely been invited otherwise. No doubt a lot of people here would think I was being really mean but bad behaviour generally continues because people allow it to.

[Sewmuchtodo]

Well the party has been and gone...

My DC arrived with 2 gifts for the birthday children (ONE spiderman t-shirt and sweets and cheaper t-shirt with sweets).

They were recieved with a 'see, a gift for both of you......now stop crying DC2 and say thanks'. The previous child had simply brought one gift for the child she was friends with and the younger sibling (having been told there would be one each from everyone) was upset by this.

On average 60% of the kids brought a gift for each, and when the older birthday child recieved nothing from his younger DC's friends he did not complain......the mothers face was a picture (think cat's bum squeaking a hight pitched yet curt 'thanks').

Demanding mum flounced around doing everything but taking charge of the 58 children who turned up until a group flooded the loo by putting entire toilet rolls down and flushing......she then got her DH to 'deal with it'.

Oh well, it's a whole new day today!

[FuzzpigFourFiveSix]

Ahahaha what a madam she sounds!

[CheerfulYank]

Wow! She sounds...I don't have the words.

And no food? DS's birthday party is tomorrow (well today in your time :) ) from 11-12:45 and we are definitely providing lunch!

She sounds nuts. And what is this other thread, I definitely want to read it! :o

[Sewmuchtodo]

No idea about the other thread, I asked too but the poster never said.

No food........lots of sweets, crisps and squash!

[Purplegirlie]

Wow, yes she does sound very grabby and pushy. Not the kind of mother I'd find very endearing at the school gates.

I really dislike the whole "expecting" of presents at parties, and also how in general it's turned into competitive gift giving. When I was a child some friends would turn up with a small gift, others wouldn't, but it wasn't an issue at all. I just wanted to see/play with my friends.

When my eldest DD was little (now a teenager), we all bought small gifts, usually not spending any more than a fiver. Now with my younger children it seems people are spending more and more, so in turn everyone else feels obliged to because everyone spent so much on their child's present. It's madness.

OP, I would give that mother a very wide berth in future and decline any party invites. With regards to the joint party thing, I would only buy for the child or children my child was friends with. If it was a joint part of two people in their class then of course I'd buy for both. But not for a child of DDs age and then a younger sibling. We had a joint part with a friend last year for DD2; we invited lots of friends of both girls, who bought gifts for both girls, but also each girl invited several friends that the other didn't know or didn't know well, and they bought for the girl that had invited them. It wasn't an issue at all and like others have pointed out, who wants hundreds of presents to clutter the house with?