to only buy ONE GIFT???

[Sewmuchtodo]

DC1 has been invited to a birthday party on Friday. Birthday child (8) is having a joint party with their sibling (5) as their birthdays are a few weeks apart.

DC is friends with one of the children and says hi to the other but birthday child(ren)s mum seems to think that both DC's will recieve a gift from each person invited......AIBU to think that if my DC take a card for each and a gift for the child DC is friends with then that is enough?

[youarekidding]

Don't do it. Friend of mine has joint party for her DD's as one is middle of year and one very close to xmas. They each invite x number of friends each, she doesn't expect presents from anyone but would only expect a child to buy a present for the DD that invited them. The party invites go out as DD1 invites to to...... love DD1 and same for DD2. It just so happens they are both at same time and place.

[skybluepearl]

what did the invite say? were both siblings doing the inviting?

I'd buy a main gift for friend and a large chocolate bar plus hand made card for the sibling.

[needanewname]

I would take one present only!

I would also make sure ae next party that the mum knows that only the lder child is invited and if she still insists on turning up with younger one, explain that you won't be able to take the youngest, you don't need to explain, just look her in the eye and if she tries saying that they will feel left out, say sorry nothing I can about that and walk off.

[AgentZigzag]

But you don't have to do what the mum's saying though do you OP?

She can expect away...

[bumpybecky]

We had a joint party for dd1 and 2 who are 2 years 5 days apart and it never occurred to me that people would bring a gift for the other child, only the one their child's age.

I think if I was in your situation and knew a second present was expected I'd either buy something they could both use (art and craft stuff or a game) or split my normal budget between them.

[AgentZigzag]

Why didn't you tell her her other DS wasn't invited to the cinema etc and she couldn't palm him off onto you?

[Sewmuchtodo]

Invite was a generic printout

Ie. Your child is invited to DC1 and DC2's party on friday with a little picture.

I will send something for both as I am nice but I am annoyed at this attitued by the mother.

To add insult to injury the party is from 4.45-6.45pm.......and the mother was busy saying how easy it was as in a large hall she will just have to get the cake, party bags and put some biscuits, crisps and sweets into bowls!

[Nagini]

Only one present.

Those kids are going to get pissed off if she can't deal with them as individuals.

[Salmotrutta]

I'm with Punk - a game to share. OK - the Mum may be grasping but it would still seem rude to me not to take something for each or a shared gift. Mind you, when mine were little parties tended to be for 5-6 friends, involved some finger foods, treasure hunts in the garden and a very small party bag with a pencil, notebook and wee bag of sweets etc. and birthday gifts were little items (or practical like socks or vests ).
Honestly, some of the party stories I read on here are real eye-openers - and not in a good way.

[Sewmuchtodo]

agentzigzag I am just too soft, she arrived saying to her 2DC's how exciting it was to be having a special day out and were'nt THEY so lucky.

She is a pro at making me feel like a baddie!

[LilBB]

I had joint parties with my sister as our birthday are a week apart. I got presents from my friends and she got presents from hers. I don't think the other kids where even aware it was joint before coming as they where just at home. So I would just buy for the DC that your DC is friends with.

[oldsilver]

My sister and I are 3 years and 1 day apart, we often had joint birthday parties growing up - I never received any presents off of her friends and vice versa. It was not expected, I did not feel traumatised or hard done by. My friends, my presents - her friends, her presents.

My next door neighbours (2 girls), on the other hand, had birthdays months apart - we were told by mother we had to bring presents for both children as the younger DD got upset at not getting anything on her sisters birthday. The general consensus of the all the guests/parents was ... tough!!

[StayingNearlyHeadlessNicksGirl]

A couple of times I did big joint birthday parties for my three dses - partly because ds1's friends all seemed to have siblings the same ages as ds2 and ds3, and they were all friends. However, I made sure that ds1's friends got an invite from him, ds2's friends got invites from him and ditto ds3's friends - to try and make it clear that I didn't expect presents for all three of them from each guest. Some bought something little for the other dses, but I didn't expect that.

That said, I think I would do as you are going to, OP, and buy a little something for the other child.

[GwendolineMaryLacey]

Doesn't sound like, from what you quoted, that she's expecting double presents. I think you're reading too much into that. If it's a joint party then the little lad will get presents from his own friends. I would only take one.

[itshappenedagain]

one invite= one present. plus surely she wont let them open them at the party anyway so the other child won't give a shit know. i tend to ask for no presents from children as we have enough plastic tat we dont have the space, especially as some parents around here give a gift list, i kid you not, and your not talking small either.

[StealthPolarBear]

so there's no actual food?

[Sewmuchtodo]

I have just worked out if each guest brings two gifts that is a total of 118 gifts (class1 has 31 class2 has 28). Hall can take upto 70.

[Sewmuchtodo]

No stealth....no actual food as too much hassle straight after school on a Friday to organise so just sweets, crisps and biscuits!

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

OP - spend the same amount you would have spent on one gift, buying two smaller ones.

And don't invite either of the woman's children to your next party.

[willowstar]

this happened to me recently, I was invited to a joint birthday party, one of the mums I knew much better than the other who I had only spoken to a couple of times. I bought each child the exact same book (same age) and didn't even think about not getting the child I don't know something.

[Salmotrutta]

Well, one gift between two makes sense then!

OR - halve the amount you would normally spend per gift then spend that on each child.

I was surprised about the food too - even at our very low-key parties we had sandwiches/sausage rolls/slices of pizza etc.

[Salmotrutta]

Hah! - great minds Endoplasmic - tell me, are you rough or smooth ER??

[Sewmuchtodo]

Thanks, was just curious if I was the only one suprised by the general behaviour.

I will send two gifts......I will just be pee'd off doing it!

[hester]

A couple of mums in my dd's class organised a joint party recently, and suggested on the invite that the girls should bring a gift for the birthday girl, and the boys should do the same for the birthday boy. In the event I did send presents for both, because my dd is genuinely friends with both, but I thought it was a nice solution.

[foreverondiet]

I would never have thought of taking a present for the younger child and TBH I don't think that its necessary. However I have books from book people that cost around 50p- £1 from book sets each I might give one of these (perhaps) to the younger child.

TBH I don't really understand this desire for lots of presents. Most presents at kids parties are tat and quickly break and end up in the bin.