to only buy ONE GIFT???

[Sewmuchtodo]

DC1 has been invited to a birthday party on Friday. Birthday child (8) is having a joint party with their sibling (5) as their birthdays are a few weeks apart.

DC is friends with one of the children and says hi to the other but birthday child(ren)s mum seems to think that both DC's will recieve a gift from each person invited......AIBU to think that if my DC take a card for each and a gift for the child DC is friends with then that is enough?

[IgnoringTheChildren]

I'm not even expecting the children we've invited to my DS1's party to bring presents (and if my DH had his way we would have said no presents on the invites and he thinks we have too many bits of plastic crap toys) - I know that some will but won't be upset if his friends from pre-school don't.

In your shoes if I took something for the other child it would be a small token gift, but I probably wouldn't!

I am very at the mum's idea about suitable food for this party, particularly considering the party is from 4.45-6.45pm and that half the guests will be 5 year olds!

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

Salmo - I'm smooth. Usually.

OP could solve problem by not sending child to the party at all - then she won't have to buy any presents. Or worry about lack of proper food.

Has grabby party mum organised any entertainment I wonder? Or are they just going to hurtle around the village hall in a pack, fuelled by sweets?

I've been to parties like that.

[Hippee]

DS1 and DS2 have birthdays a week apart, so we usually do a joint party, but I address the invitations from one or other of them, so that people don't know it's a joint party (unless we're inviting siblings) - precisely to avoid getting 2 presents from each person. Presumably this mum is going to be inviting friends of both children, so there is no need to buy for both. They probably won't even notice.

Or you could just make a donation to the DEC East Africa Appeal for children who really do need something!

[bellavita]

I would send one gift and two cards. The gift being for the child that your DS is friends with.

[DorisIsAPinkDragon]

Hippee was just going to post much the same as you, have a party in the next few weeks invites have gone out from each child to their friends with only a couple going to siblings from both, I haven't hidden the fact that it's a joint party, but I wanted to avoid exactly this scenario.

[2rebecca]

I wouldn't give a joint present. I'd probably get the child my kid was friends with a proper present and a small token gift for the other child.
I would make it clear if inviting children to parties that only the child on the invite was invited and not siblings, and if inviting the girl concerned here would write that on her invitation.

[takethisonehereforastart]

I think I would buy a small token gift for the younger child.

A few times I have bought a Thomas the Tank Engine book on the basis that if I have to suffer them... if the featured main character has the same name as the birthday child.

Or I have bought the Mr Men/Little Miss series books that have Mr Birthday or Miss Birthday.

Those books are only £2.99 each but people seem to be really pleased with them

[MumblingRagDoll]

Just buy something cheap! FFS how much will you miss a quid?

[sunnydelight]

I would have thought that each child would have invited half the guests so would expect to buy a present for the child who invited mine on the basis that the kids invited by the other child would bring presents for her. I don't think of it as a question of cost, though of course that comes into it, more a case of teaching children not to be greedy!

[olibeansmummy]

Sewmuchtodo, it sounds like she spends time thinking of what to say to her DCs in order to manipulate you . I'd also take a very small gift for the other child so as not to cause upset, but next time you have a party, have a word with her before hand to make it clear only one child can come.

[olibeansmummy]

Ps, do you have another child you could bring to the party to piss her off?

[Collaborate]

My daughter recently had a joint party with a classmate and we stressed in the invite only one present. Don't want too much tat!

One party - one present. Your son is only friends with one of them. She's being a real grabbing mare.

[Catslikehats]

I wouldn't worry about no real food - kind of wish I had the nerve TBH.

Instead I am the crazy mum making 150 teeny tiny sandwiches and home made pizzas for 70 kids who bypass all my lovingly hand made goodies for the wotsits and haribo!

Take two pressies. I think you are reading too much into her comments re presents but even if she is a bitch it is hardly the kids fault.

[kitbit]

When she brings both dc to your parties does she bring a gift from each of them?

[mollschambers]

Don't send two gifts send a game labelled to both of them.

[HSMM]

I would buy 1 present for the friend

[ensure]

Give the 5 year old a packet of chocolate buttons. A token gift.

The woman does sound a bit cheeky.

[preschoolly]

My two (2 years apart) are having a joint party soon, but because we printed out invites we were able to give the school ones with just my elder daughter's name on them because I didn't want anyone thinking I was being grabby. Printed a separate set of invites with both girls' names on for friends. It's tough to know what the best solution is... Mind you since no-one EVER rsvps anyway it's impossible to know who is coming - but that's a separate rant entirely

[Sewmuchtodo]

Lots of interesting comments and different views.

Hippee and Doris, the invite was not 'from' anyone, merely to my DC inviting them to this joint party.

Olibeansmummy, yes I have another DC but would never be as rude as she is, lol.

Endoplasmic, the party is a 'disco'. Pushy mum was happily telling everyone that she has her partymix cd at the ready and her husband will be on volume control......so yes, a heap of kids on a sugar high running around a hall (but to music!).

The queenofdeniel, I am like you, if a party is at a meal time I make enough to feed each child a reasonable meal. Perhaps we are in the minority.

Kitbit, no she turns up with two kids, one gift (a very fine piece of plastic tat) and a brazen manner!

Im off to purchase said present's and will send them along with a smile on Friday......

[bruffin]

I had a few joint parties as my dcs' birthdays are 5 days apart and just sent the invites out from just one name ie if dd's friend then from dd, if ds friend then from ds. I am sure they only got presents from their friends.

[Hufflepuzzpig]

She sounds lovely. I bet you have plenty of anecdotes please tell us I could do with a laugh

I'd get a joint present (games from companies like Orchard Toys are good for different age siblings) or something from Poundland for the non-friend.

We are unintentionally doing a joint party in a few weeks for our DCs - DD turned 4 last month but she's had chicken pox. DS who will be 2 in August has now got it, so when they're both better we will do a gathering and picnic at the park. I'll say no presents needed, partly because of the issue mentioned by foreveronadiet. I certainly wouldn't expect any for DS as he's not really got his own friends yet (bad mummy not going to toddler groups...)

[2rebecca]

Do the kids eat much at other people's parties? I found it was only when they got to secondary school that they started really eating the food provided, when younger they were keen to just run about and alot of food got wasted so we ended up buying less, although sometimes it was included at venue if going bowling etc. I usually asked about foos if party covered a meal time and on invite as mine used to get crabby if tired and hungry when young so I'd feed them before going, but a childrens party without food is very unusual.

[MumblingRagDoll]

They always eat at ours 2rebecca I mean...if the table is inviting then even toddlers are happy to sit still.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726]

I remember the other thread... it was both jaw-dropping and hysterically funny, in equal measure. There was some good advice on it. This mum sounds a bit of a chancer really. From the other thread, had she tried to gatecrash a venue with the other child she would have been told, appologetically, that the invite was for X, max number, sorry. She could pay for Y separately if she wants to though... unfortunately, there are only party bags for the invited but Y can have a bit of cake certainly. :)

I too would like to hear the annecdotes of posters, it's very useful for future angsty events.

[Allinabinbag]

I think the mum should be doing the opposite and working out how not to get that many presents. Even with 30 children, this would be 60 presents EACH. That is absolutely obscene. I am starting to pull back from this party culture that has sprung up, we now only go to parties if it is a true friend and it is convenient and fits in with the rest of the family, all 'fill the hall' just to exchange stuff from Poundland in vast quantities is starting to make me feel a bit 'what's the point?'