DS and the drunk nutter and keep your catsbumfaces to yourselves

[SpringchickenGoldBrass]

Solstice night: I took DS (who is 6 and three quarters) with me for morris dance-out in some Fitzrovia pubs. Everything was going quite nicely until the arrival of drunk nutter, who proceeded to hang around being a bit annoying and nicking people's drinks. Then DN (drunk nutter) nicked DS's drink, and I intervened and said that it was DS's drink and to put it down please, DN did not co-operate so I led DS away with the promise of another one. Then for some reason DN went totally hatstand and started throwing furniture around and screaming.
DS broke away from me, ran towards DN and shouted 'What do you think you're doing? Stop it, that's naughty!' I grabbed him and pulled him away, the whole of our group moved away ie left the pub the nutter was at; nutter was by this time hurling tables at the pub's windows (it was a fast-happening and quite impressive drunk-nutter tantrum).
Once we were away, DS started crying in shock and reaction, I cuddled him, the rest of our group were very kind and helpful, and he's settled down now.
The thing is, I am very impressed with his sheer bravery in reprimanding a nutter - how do I tell him that it was a good thing to speak up when someone is behaving badly while at the same time teach him not to be officious or to risk himself by confronting people?

Pubs or even a nice beer garden can suddenly turn, I was once in a family friendly pub for an England game a few years ago, lots of families were watching in the garden, but England lost and there was no way out of the garden except through the pub, which was now covered in broken glass, people fighting, we had to run with our children through the streets to get away from the drunken men assaulting each other (and cars). Just awful and I stupidly didn't see it coming (was all caught up in the fun, sporty side, my bad judgement).

Here, I think you should have a word with him about saying provoking things to strangers. I know he meant to protect you, and that is brave, but my seven year old also thinks she can say things to people like 'you shouldn't do that' or 'that man said a rude word mummy' or even 'you can't park on a pavement' to someone who clearly doesn't give a shit. I have told her not to comment on strangers' behaviour, it is one sure way to get yourself into trouble and I disagree it is part of 'looking out for each other' because once someone has lost it and is violent, the only looking out you need to do is for everyone to clear the area and call the police as happened.

And I wish it wasn't like this in our country, I love having a drink in a nice family friendly pup or cafe with a bottle of wine, but we seem to have a heavy drinking non-family oriented culture that means this can be dangerous at times. In my husband's culture, which is also heavy drinking but family oriented, the idea that packs of young lads would drive off a family out for a nice evening is laughable, people take their children out til late at night, there simply isn't the laddish culture to contend with (I appreciate this was a bit of a different situation, but I have seen violence in British pubs and on nights out more times than I care to remember).

AgentZigzag: The vernacular one ie someone clearly operating abnormal thinking processes and basically acting like a nutter.

falls over in dead faint at thought of SGB being a Morris Dancer<

I think you handled the situation really well, you have a cool boy there.

Do you have a pig's bladder on a stick?

The way you've used the word nutter in your title and OP is offensive because the word is often linked to people with mental health problems.

If the man was operating with abnormal thinking processes because he was drunk, no need for the word nutter and to suggest he has mental health problems.

If you think he did have mental health problems, no need to be so offensive an call him a nutter.

AgentZigzag, it would have taken far too long to type 'the person who was behaving strangely and annoyingly and who may or may not have had MH difficulties which were exacerbated by alcohol' every time.
Also, you are jumping to conclusions that the person was a man. I did not mention the person's gender at any time.

What a brave little boy. Give him an extra cuddle.

PS. Are you Border Morris, by the way? Because we appear with a few sides.

I think that you should be very proud of him. Just explain that although he did the right thing, sometimes it is best just to get out of the way, if the person isn't being sensible and ready to listen.

Big hugs to your brave little boy, SGB. Please tell him from me that this 46 yo thinks him very brave but that in future asks him to think about taking care of himself too. :)

catsbumface at Agentzigzag for unnecessarily politicising the use of the term nutter!

YANBU.Poor ds,but YABU to inflict Morris dancing on people.

I love it when SGB sees someone off on here :o Sounds as if he's a chip off the old block.

If I don't like a poster calling another person a nutter hmc, I'll say I find it offensive to the OP on the thread they said it on.

It'd be the same for retard or any of the other unacceptable terms some people think are OK use on MN.

Why do you find it unnecessary to question the use of the word nutter hmc?

EricNorthmansMistress -- you'll never get a catsbumface from me wrt children in pubs on Morris dancing related business, as long as they don't throw furniture anyway.

I agree with Slhilly about not ceding the public space to the badly behaved and I think more people should be willing to do what SGB's DS did. Reason not to do it in pubs is that there tends to be furniture there to throw, and glass to break, and the throwing is sometimes fueled by booze; plus as Allinabinbag says, things can turn nasty in pubs very fast, and to an extent beyond the understanding of the average child and self preservation is the only choice if it does. Also there is usually a landlord present who is presumably interested in keeping his premises from being trashed.

If this thread wasnt started by a member of 'mumsnet royalty' it would probably be about 12 pages long by now and most posts would not be about Morris dancing.

Im not having a pop at you OP regarding the circumstances surrounding what happened in your post, im just a bit at the responses to it, I am pretty sure if a new or lesser known member had written your post the replies would have been scathing.

Pandemoniaa: No, Cotswold, which lot are you?
Agentzigzag, you're entitled to your opinion but I don't think 'nutter' is a particularly perjorative term.

Your boy is very brave - I hope he's okay.

My mum and dad were both Morris (early - mid 70's) and folk singers. I have fond childhood memories of Sidmouth and Broadstairs festivals as a littl'un.

6 3/4? Wow, brave boy. But, if he were my son, I'd say to him "You were very brave, and I'm very proud of you. But please, never do that again, he might have hurt you badly."

Yes, this attitude does cede public space to the badly behaved. But I'd rather do that than be knifed or have my child knifed.

What a brave boy...and simulataneously how scary. Shows he has a good heart though.

I know nothing of Morris dancing, but there was some in our local park recently and the kids were memerised!

I don't like the use of the word nutter. Please find another one. It's used perjoratively about those who have mental illness and used to describe any kind of unexplained violent behaviour from people who may be ill, or may just be violent drunks.

Putting that aside your DS sounds great. Maybe you could tell him that sometimes adults can act just like toddlers, but they throw bigger things, and that though it is naughty to throw things, you'd rather he told you not the person in future. When there are things being thrown around, they could hit him by mistake.

At Morris Dancing

Did I mention

Ditto Zukiecat, and I know SGB didn't mean it to be offensive but I don't like the way it is used generally. If reasonable Morris Dancers use it it gives it a degree of acceptability.

What a brave little man! I hope my DS grows up to be as fine and as brave as your boy. But yes, do tell him to think of his own safety.

(Oh, and I also have mental health issues, had 'em all my life, will no doubt die with issues, and am in no way offended by the term 'nutter'. Or fruitbat. Which is my personal favourite :o )

Spring, I'm in Australia, there's a surprising number of troops here. I dance with a North-West women's side and have done on and off since I was 18.