aibu to think that women with less children than me should wind their necks in...

[bentpenny]

Just a quick one but my youngest ds had the most almighty tantrum today on the school run and one mum actually stood watching and smirking like it was some kind of spectator sport. Another one of the school run charmers shook her head and tutted. It's amazing what bitches women can be when we all know how hard it can be.

Another woman today gave me a long lecture with top tips and advice about how to pooty train my youngest. She has 1 child.

Ok, thats it -rant over. But do you ever get the feeling that some women think that anything more than 2 dc's with 5 years apart and a nanny is frankly a despicable thing to do.

[fedupofnamechanging]

That's a bit offensive TakeMe. It might not make a person a better parent but having more than one child, does make a person more experienced. Wrt potty training, the parent with more than one child is in a good position to know from experience that not all children learn at the same rate or are ready for a potty at the same age.

I think it's rude to tell other people how to look after their DC, unless they specifically ask you for advice

[NormanTebbit]

The more kids I have the more rubbish a parent I become. Frankly I'll take advice from anyone. I bloody need it.

[paisleyII]

tbh i don't like anyone giving me advice re parenting that i didn't ask for however, why is the advice so bad just because it came from a mother than has 'only' one child

[paisleyII]

karma - just read your thread, i understand where you are coming from, fair point

[fedupofnamechanging]

paisley, I don't think it's that the advice would be wrong or bad, just that someone with 3 or 4 kids is likely to know it already.

[jzhmum]

:o I am with you norman!! I was so good with number 1..by the book mum...not so much with number 4

[fedupofnamechanging]

Sorry x posted there paisley

[Mumcentreplus]

Offering advice can be fine or it can be irritating as fuck dependent upon.. who's giving it, their intentions and the manner it is given.

enter stage left... really irritating patronizing (sp) z or s?) woman who feels she is now your parenting mentor because once you were too polite to tell her to fuck off you know what you are doing thanks !! and now you have to suffer her idle conversation..

[LittlebearH]

I have smiled at a mum with a toddler having a tantrum, but not in a smug way. In a sympathetic way.
Ooh now I am worried she may have thought I was being smug.
What is the correct etiquette???

FWIW I have the upmost respect for anyone who has more than 1 child as I am knackered with my 16mo.

Takemedrunk have my first ever

[fedupofnamechanging]

At the risk of contradicting myself, I did think I had this parenting lark down pat by the time I'd had DC3. Then I had DC4, who is a law unto herself

[WearegoingonaKwazihunt]

Fewer children, not less.

I know it's pedantic. Sorry.

Maybe it has nothing to do with having fewer children than you.

[MrsKravitz]

Why does having only one child make tantrums less likely? Why should someone with one child be deemes less able to handle tantrums because they dont have any more kids? Load of crap

[Ormirian]

Err.. no. I don't. I think you need to retune your offence-radar.

[libelulle]

I usually don't mind who advice comes from if it's well meant, but i have to say I was quite amused at a mum at baby group the other day who was dishing out all manner of crazy advice to various women with 2+ kids, on the grounds that she had developed a marvellous routine with her twins (pfbs) who were...9 weeks old .

[ThePathanKhansWoman]

bentpanny and morecrack i do sometimes do that "i know what your going through" smile, when i see a mum and tantrumy child. Oh shite do all those mummys think i'm sniggering?

[ThePathanKhansWoman]

bentpenny even.

[Mumcentreplus]

smiling is fine,raised eyebrows of empathy,shrugged shoulders of compassion etc...

my DD1 had a whopper once we were in the Butlins Pavilion so you know the the acoustics was bloody marvelous!!...had loads of understanding smiles as my DH scooped her off the ground and slung her over his shoulder like a sack of spuds while she screamed like a banshee...

[Aseaandthreestars]

Sorry, sorry, v. off topic, but has moved into 'classics that we're going to use every day' in our house.

[hugeleyoutnumbered]

bentpenny have a large you sound like you've earned it today cheers rant away whenever you like there are thyree in my tribe too

[RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles]

Personally I can tell (generally) whether it's a sympathetic smile or one that requires a punch in the gob .

Libelulle oh yes - I had someone on the plane a few months ago telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing with my DD3. Her baby and PFB was then 6m.

[Ormirian]

I got glared at for grinning at a 'naughty' child today. He was singing loudly whilst walking round Lidl. I smiled at him because I thought was very sweet. His mother gave him a bit of a shake and then glared at me. She was Polish (I think) so maybe my smile was a 'what a horrible child' smile

[immortalbeloved]

I kind of get what you mean op

I have six dc, and while I am no parenting expert and I'm happy to ask for advice when I need it, I do admit to getting a bit riled when people try to tell me I'm doing something wrong/they know better especially if they only have one dc (the main thing I have learnt form having lots of dc is that they really are all so different, what works with one doesn't always work with another but I have a couple of friends with one dc who insist that because their way works for their dc it must be the 'right' way, not saying all mums of one are like this of course)

I especially loved the HV telling me I was breastfeeding no.6 'all wrong', ok, so I have bf five dc, dc6 is putting on between 1/2 and 1 pound a week, I have no soreness or problems and we're both happy, but yes because it doesnt look like the picture in your leaflet I must be doing it wrong

[TheMonster]

Maybe she was tutting in sympathy?

[NormanTebbit]

Yes all it takes is the arrival of one free spirit and you realise that alot of this parenting business is down to luck rather than judgement.

Friends with a single child seem to be more organised, they have time to do things properly. I don't think having more children makes you a better parent, I find i struggle to give each child enough attention, especially as DP works long hours.

[Mumcentreplus]

Yeah maybe a tut of affinity..