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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shaking and crying after confrontation with son?

57 replies

TotallyUtterlyDesperate · 12/05/2011 19:43

Background: DS1 is 21 with ASD and learning difficulties. DH disabled. DS2 v able & has just gone back to Uni. I have long-term chronic illness and was told yesterday that I need scan to rule out cancer.

This evening, DS1 came home from supported work upset about incident he had today. It was relatively minor in my eyes, but obviously upset him. I asked him to leave it until DH came home as I have almost totally lost my voice and can't discuss things. He refused to stop and started screaming and swearing at me.

When DH came home, DS carried on in the same vein, ratcheting up and eventually saying he wants to burn the house down. Then started hitting both of us and throwing things.

All I can do now is shake & cry. DS1 is crying & screaming in bedroom. DH crying in lounge. :(

OP posts:
TotallyUtterlyDesperate · 12/05/2011 20:23

Thanks again.We are basically scared of involving authorities such as the police and SS - have never had any dealings with either as a family. DS1 threatens to tell them that we hit him and, in all truth, both DH and I have lost our temper with him in the past and smacked him. Not often, in fact very rarely, but we have. Both of us are horrified that this has happened, but the sheer stress we have lived with for the last 15 years has caused us to have shameful episodes. I have had counselling that has helped me deal with the situation much better, and today was the first time in ages that I got really angry - but I did not lose my temper, neither did DH. So we are getting better at this, just not able to stay calm when being screamed, hit and sworn at. It is so hard to keep emotions in check when DS is having such a "violent storm" - good phrase Maryz.

We asked for counselling for DS and he was given an appointment, but he ran away. The counsellor will not allow us to make a new one for DS and says he has to contact her himself. But he won't!

OP posts:
TotallyUtterlyDesperate · 12/05/2011 20:26

I'm not afraid of the scan as I have had one before - just of the results being the worst case scenario. I am the sole breadwinner for the family and they all depend on me. I have only just gone back to work after 6 months off and now have been told this!

Thanks for all of the kind messages - I really appreciate this.

OP posts:
borderslass · 12/05/2011 20:27

We where the same as you had no support but I hit breaking point, sometimes you have to bite the bullet and do what is best for the whole family it may just be the shock he needs if you call the police they don't have to arrest him they just spoke to DS.

MadamDeathstare · 12/05/2011 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TotallyUtterlyDesperate · 12/05/2011 20:32

I am deeply, deeply ashamed that I have ever raised my hand to him - horrified that I could ever behave like that. No excuses for it.

OP posts:
purplepidjin · 12/05/2011 20:33

Op, first have a hug. I have experience working with teens and adults if you'd like to pm me. I'm at youth club at the moment but didn't want to lose the thread for later when I'm home

SmethwickBelle · 12/05/2011 20:52

Oh jeez, I'm sorry you can't even get outside the house - that is tough stuff. This is a hell of a lot for one person to have to carry.

TotallyUtterlyDesperate · 12/05/2011 21:11

purplepidjin Thanks for your offer and the hug!

smethwickBelle Think that is one of the causes of my illness - stress. No real way of getting rid of it and very little outside support. No friends at all in this town and family are a long way away and not very supportive, apart from my mum.

DH now want to have a serious talk as he "can't go on like this". I said that I can't talk about it now and that we must sleep on it and talk in the morning. I know what he will say - he wants DS to leave. I don't think we have any option and I don't believe there are these mythical supported living places out there anyway!

OP posts:
Northeastgirl · 12/05/2011 21:13

Poor you. I have no useful advice to offer, but could you speak to your GP for some suggestions. Or your son's employers - they presumably have experience of supporting people with different problems.

Best of luck tomorrow

purplepidjin · 12/05/2011 21:16

Tud I work in one! Will pm you when home on proper computer

purplepidjin · 12/05/2011 21:16

Tud I work in one! Will pm you when home on proper computer

HaughtyChuckle · 12/05/2011 21:23

Notmuch sensible to add, but just thinking off you and your DH must be so tough

DoMeDon · 12/05/2011 21:24

The guilt you carry for smacking your son is such a shame - you are only human. Everyone has a breaking point. Be kind to yourself, you are enduring more than many will ever face and doing your absolute best. I so hope you get some respite and find a safer place for all of you to be - emotionally and physically xx

TotallyUtterlyDesperate · 12/05/2011 21:29

Again - thanks for all of the kind and helpful comments. Am welling up just reading them. I am going off-line now to try to read - that usually helps me blot things out. Will be back again tomorrow evening.

OP posts:
Maryz · 12/05/2011 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDmamee · 12/05/2011 23:04

TUD I really feel for you and understand the stress of it all. MY ds is only 14 and has recently been diagnosed with ASD. He also has alot of learning difficulties.

For years I've struggled to deal with him thinking it must be my fault. He seems to be angry all the time screams and shouts if he is in the same room as anyone else.
I am tense all the time wondering what will set him off. Yesterday it was a chair infront of a cabinet when I asked him to unload dishwasher. He roared and screamed at his 5 year old brother for leaving it there.
Day before it was someone gave him water instead of juice with his dinner.

I fear what the future holds for me as he grows older. Times have been tough I've suffered on and off with depression for years.

I know your dealing with alot more than me but just wanted to let you know your not alone. As some days/most days I feel very alone.

floweryblue · 12/05/2011 23:11

DP's son 14yo was sent to live with us a few weeks ago because XW was unable to cope any more with his misbehaviour and violent behaviour.

At first DP thought XW was 'lying' and had driven his son to it but it very quickly became clear he was emotionally out of control, possibly because of his cannabis use.

We called the police several times in the early days, because we were frightened of what he threatened do to himself and to DP. They were extremely supportive and helpful.

Don't be scared to involve the authorities, they want to prevent harm as much as you do.

Maryz · 12/05/2011 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LDNmummy · 12/05/2011 23:25

Oh my, I really wish I had more to offer than words of support. I hope things turn out ok, wishing you all the best to deal with this situation OP, can only imagine how difficult it must be Sad

floweryblue · 13/05/2011 00:18

Please do send me the link Maryz as I am trying to find out as much info as I can. My feeling is that DSS appears to be no longer using, he has certainly settled and is simply not having the extreme behaviour any more. So I think DP may have been partially right, being with an aggressive and temperamental mother may have driven him to his own extreme behaviour, especially with any psychosis related to drug use/drug deprivation.

BakeliteBelle · 13/05/2011 00:20

I am usually in SN section and also get frustrated that there is little for parents of older children or adults.

You honestly sound like you need to contact social services as they will hold the key to some sort of assistance. Why the resistance? Do you honestly think that they have never met a parent who has occasionally reacted to constant violence with a slap once in a while. Both DH and I have hit DS (severe learning disabilities) - only rarely, always with shame, but after hours/days/weeks of being hit, scratched, pushed, spat at etc, plus no sleep. We have been completely open with social services and they haven't taken him away! We have more help and life is better. We are only human and some situation are beyond human endurance. You don't have to dwell on that anyway, you just need to impress on them that you are at breaking point. Perhaps they can help, or refer to someone who can?

Supported living does exist but you will have to get onto social services and help yourself as soon as possible. Nothing comes without a struggle in our lives.

Lots of parents with disabled children struggle to leave their houses. This is one of the many reasons why the current cuts are so disgracefully targeted at some of the most vulnerable people in society and we need everyone to fight them.

floweryblue · 13/05/2011 00:25

Shit, that sounds like I am being nasty to DSS mum, it's not meant like that at all. She was at the end of her own tether, that's why she sent her son to us, it was not an easy decision for her.

redwoolblanket · 13/05/2011 00:46

This sounds like a terribly stressful situation and I agree that it's time you allowed some outside support to come in. We've had help from social services with DD (ASD) and they even supported us in getting a supported residential placement where she now gets care around the clock and we can get some respite. They have specialist staff there who are teaching her emotional skills and life skills, so hopefully she will be able to live independently in the future. We've also had family therapy and family support services from SS. The fact that you have your own health problems as well would make your case a priority with social services.

In the long term it will help you and your family to reach out to all the services that might be available to you. The NAS provided a befriender for DD when she was young, and other disability charities have been helpful too.

amberlight · 13/05/2011 08:17

TUD, what a situation for you. So little support where you are and such a burden to have to carry.
I'm an adult on the autism spectrum and a mum to a disabled child, so I have some insight into this.

[just a bit of background info in case any people are thinking blimey, are all autistic people like this...Whilst a few individuals are violent, violence is not a feature of autism or part of its diagnostic list, so there is absolutely no reason why any person with autism has to use violence or should be allowed to endanger anyone. Some will lash out in toddler-panic-style without thinking, though, and a few are indeed deliberately violent, the same proportion as any other member of society might be. The majority of us are very peaceful people with a good grasp of social responsibility who do all we can to treat others with gentleness. I work with a huge number of men and women on all parts of the autism spectrum who are vicars/church helpers, accountants, artists, poets, writers, speakers, teachers, surveyors and every manner of volunteer and helper, and who have found ways to contribute to society no matter what their IQ (some have profound autism and very low IQ), so it can be done with the right support and information.]

Your support has been missing so it's no wonder you're all struggling. It's in no way your fault.

A friend of mine was faced with this situation with her adult daughter who has a variety of disabilities including autism, and after taking a few attacks, contacted the local police and explained the situation. They came round to talk to the dd and explained that hitting someone is against the law and if she did it again, she might be put in prison. For her, it worked beautifully. Other solutions may work for other people. The police can be a good ally. There are certainly residential placements out there, and social services have a duty of care to your son and to you. I would write to them to say what the situation is, that there is real physical danger, and that you need them to assess him immediately as you are not able to cope any more because of the disabilities in the rest of the family. Sounds dramatic, but unless they have those words, they may rate it as not worth bothering with. Tell them the Autism Act laws means they absolutely must offer assistance now, which is true - they must.

In a meltdown situation, don't engage with him other than to try to ensure his or your safety. no speaking unless there's no choice, no eye contact. Minimise all and every interaction and all the sensory overload that he might be experiencing, so he has a chance to calm down. The advice to take it in turns if you can is a good one. If you can record an incident, take photos of bruises or damage etc to add to the evidence, good. It's not to hurt him, it's to get the help he and you need, because no way can he contribute to society and feel like he's making a difference if the best he's doing is beating up the people who love him.

Hope it helps a bit...

(PS I'm having treatment for cancer at the moment - really hope you get good news about that...)

purplepidjin · 13/05/2011 08:21

From the other side of the coin, I'm a staff member. I get to walk away at the end of my shift and do my own thing. I get to walk/drive home. I get time to think about other things. I get time to read a book/watch a dvd/MN without having to consider whether your child is safe and looked after - the next shift has taken over, it's their job. I have colleagues I can call on to support me, whether that's taking over because I'm the target or keeping an eye on things while I have a cuppa.

That makes it much much easier to react appropriately, implement long term strategies, and stay calm in the face of violence and aggression.

Allowing your dc to go into supported living/residential care may or may not be the best thing for your family. But it is not a failure.

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