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AIBU?

To feel scared being pregnant aged 36

96 replies

youcangetpregnantstandingup · 25/03/2011 23:14

....Just found out to my surprise but joy that we are expecting baby no.4. However I am 36 and having spent the evening googling stuff about pregnancy over 35, I know, it was a mistake, I wanted reassurance more than anything, I feel scared, tearful and convinced that something is going to wrong. Please tell me some pregnancy age 35 plus success stories because I've gone from excited to feeling sick and panicked.

OP posts:

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giveitago · 26/03/2011 16:10

Yup - I gave birth at just under 38 (one miscarriage at 34) - I was terrified but just go with. DS born small (I was enourmous though) -but I was overdue and no signs of labour - so it was all managed (very well). He's here - healthy (no issues with his health even though small) and 4 years on is great.

At the hospital I noted that the pregnancies were either teens or older mums and I was definately the youngest of the older mums.

Congratulations.

pingu2209 · 26/03/2011 17:56

Ideally we would all have our babies at age 25, but life doesn't work out that way. 36 isn't that old for having a baby. I would start worrying after age 40 or older as the risk gets bigger, but even then there are lots of tests if this is something that matters to you.

youcangetpregnantstandingup · 26/03/2011 18:49

Thanks everyone. Guess I am just nervous because I had a miscarriage a few years ago before birth of youngest. Fingers crossed it will be fine, I'll relax a bit more when I get to 12 weeks!x

OP posts:

berylmuspratt · 26/03/2011 19:42

Congrats !! I had my first and only lovely boy at 35 and everything was fine. My SIL had her first and only lovely DD at 41 and she was as fit as a flea too, I did exactly the same as you and read all the horror stories on the internet, my advice is don't. Good luck :)

microserf · 26/03/2011 20:00

congrats on your pregnancy! i had my first at 36 and second at 37. strapping little blighters, the pair of them. had some complications but these were known as family problems (hyperemesis) in the first case and non age related in the second case. both went full term and are happy and healthy.

had the first in france where they start young, and my doc enjoyed scaring the crap out of me about being an elderly mum. took me a while to realise he was taking the piss.

my one piece of advice is not to let them scare the pants off you with prenatal testing. they adjust up all of the risk algorithms they use for your age so the risks seem to ratchet up hugely from age 35. i got a bit annoyed with my docs for not fully explaining how it worked properly.

CinnabarRed · 26/03/2011 20:22

I'm 36 and pregnant with DC3. Have just had the results back on Downs risk - 1 in 11,000. You'll be fine!

kerrymumbles · 26/03/2011 20:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fumanchu · 26/03/2011 20:28

congratulations! I had my first when I was almost 40, the second just before my 42nd Birthday, after years of trying. both healthy and easy deliveries. dont't worry!

kmr5025 · 26/03/2011 20:39

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I didn't meet my husband until I was 37 and we started trying straight away after we got married (a few months after meeting!) and after an early miscarriage with my first pregnancy I had our beautiful little boy 6 weeks before my 39th birthday. He is now four months old and I am desperate for another!

Pregnancy was fairly textbook until the last 6 weeks when I developed high blood pressure and then pre-eclampsia but that was probably more weight related than age related!

DoraJo · 26/03/2011 21:02

Congratulations!!
I had mine at 36 and 38, both very healthy. I didn't have any prenatal testing with either of them. In former times, they were used to older mothers as women kept having babies until the menopause. (My nan also had her last at 38, my aunt at 41, my great-nan at 44, all healthy babies).
You'll be fine and chances are, so will your baby!

porcamiseria · 26/03/2011 21:58

chill! when I had DS1 most of my antenatal group were 38 plus

and I was 34 and 37 when I had my two healthy babies

MerylStrop · 26/03/2011 22:00

I had mine at 34, 37 and 40.
Not one HCP I came into contact with batted an eyelid.

cece · 26/03/2011 22:02

Well I had DC2 at 38 and DC3 at 42. Not one member of staff blinked an eye at it. Well not to my face.

HappySeven · 26/03/2011 22:14

36? Practically a child in my antenatal group. Also, I was born when my mum was 40, my uncle when my gran was 43 and unless people are being polite we're fine.

Congratulations!

zipzap · 26/03/2011 23:24

congratulations!

I had ds1 at 36 and ds2 at 39 (and 50 weeks - he was actually due on my 40th birthday but was a couple of weeks early luckily)

Would love to have another one but am now nearly 42 and the things that are stopping me are worries about having pre-eclampsia again (ds1) or having another dvt (ds2) and whether or not I am too heavy (have had a net gain of 2 stone after ds1, 3 stone after ds2) as I am really struggling with my weight and also scared about going on to put on 4 stone after the next one! I would also love a dd, I love ds1 and ds2 dearly but I grew up in a house with sisters and lots of female relatives of all ages, very few if any male relatives other than dad and a couple of uncles. Finding it a big struggle to cope with boys and want someone to help even the balance a bit more (I know, whole other thread...)

But age related worries coming quite a long way down the list. think these days 40-45 is the old 35 - if you look at the stats there are loads more people having late babies.

Ihatebeingfrugal · 26/03/2011 23:29

Congratulations !
I had twins at 37 - no problems at all. Worked until 36 weeks and twins born by cs at 38 weeks (because DS1 was breech and DD1 was transverse). I didn't have a nuchal scan as I wasn't aware of it until I was 13 weeks - so too late to have it done. We also didn't have the amnio - and everything was absolutely fine - twins are now 8.
I was 40.7 months when DD2 was born- at 41 weeks. We did have nuchal and amnio this time and everything was fine.I did have SPD from 20 weeks but was told this was not age related but because the twin pregnancy had "weakened " everything!

The strangest "age" problem we found was with my consultant. He couldn't seem to say 40 -every time he mentioned my age he used to refer to it as "ladies of a certain age" which DH and I found quite bizarre !

Stay away from googling - it will only have the worst case scenarios . Stay here and your thread will fill up with over 35's who have had really successful outcomes !
Good luck

Lookandlearn · 26/03/2011 23:42

I was really worried when starting fertility treatment at 31 that it was a race against time. However the more they told me I was young the more I believed it. Age has never been raised as an issue, ironically I am hugely fertile (male factor infertility for us) and will have third at nearly 38. No one has raised age back in the realms of normality (midwife etc) and although risk of downs went up with each pg, it is still one in thousands. Risks are risks, they go up, but once actually securely pg they still seem relatively small.

satanrejectedmysoul · 26/03/2011 23:51

I had my 3rd and youngest DC at the age of 38. Like you, I was a wee bit scared having read all about the risks over 35. I had also previously had an ectopic pregnancy which had 'reduced' my fertility.

I refused the triple blood test and amniocentesis and I gave birth a perfect 9lb 2oz boy at 40 weeks.

I am 40 now and would love a fourth (I was born to give birth!) but DH won't - he's got more sense!

Congratulations and all the best.

Giselle99 · 27/03/2011 00:02

My aunt had 6 children; the first shortly after her 27th birthday and the 6th when she was 39. The 4th has Down syndrome - she had her when she was 33. The 2 born afterwards (when she was 34 and 39) are fine, as are the 1st-3rd...

feistychickfightingthebull · 27/03/2011 04:44

I am 35 this year and hoping to start ttc later on in the year.. Would love a dc4 too. Only niggle being that in all my three pregnancies I have suffered from the worst spd ond could imagine....

I wouldnt worry at all, congratulations on your pregnancy - enjoy it

JackyJax · 27/03/2011 04:47

Ok bragging time here. Had my first at 36, second at 28. The first born has just started school and is top academically in his class. He's also doing really well socially. Both boys are bright, healthy and happy. You'll be completely fine. This baby was meant to be. Wishing you lots of joy in your pregnancy. And keep away from Google!

JackyJax · 27/03/2011 04:47

Sorry, no I don't have magic 'reversing the years' serum. Second child born when I was 38.

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jennys77 · 17/06/2014 21:34

What did your 20 yr old think about your pregnancy?
I just found out I'm pregnant at 36yr old
My son and only child is 17. Its always just been the 2 of us. I'm so scared to tell him.

Brandy52079 · 16/05/2015 14:42

I have in the past 3 weeks learned im pregnant!!! I turn 36 next Wednesday and I'm freaking out. My oldest is 18 then I have a 14 year old and my youngest is 11. Was on birth control too. I have been deeply depressed and sick and lost 13 pounds due to not being able to eat at all. Just about had a heartattck when I found out I'm almost 3 months. No prenatal care at all. Doctors are booked til after the 26. So I'm just shook up from all of this and I have no family in my life other than my own. I can only talk so much to my 18 year old and she is very supported of it but I'm scared.

nokidshere · 16/05/2015 15:23

I had my first at 39 and my second at41 - both conceived naturally after 15 yrs of tycoon and treatments.

Both pregnancies were fine, both births were fine and both boys are now strapping great teenagers who are awesome!

Congrats & good luck

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