Christine you are reading into my comments things I have not said. You appear to think I do not recognise a scale difference between the Japanese crisis and F&M. Of course there is a scale difference, but there are no two disaters alike. What true similarities are these between any two disaters except that they are unforseen events which cause great destruction?
I supported the Haiti appeal whole heartedly and before that the Boxing Day Tsunami appeal. Had the Chernobyl disater been during my adulthood no doubt I would have supported that too. As far as events go these are the three most comparable diasters I can think of, and yet they are each nothing like what happened in Japan a week ago. Haiti was one of the poorerst countries on it's continent, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka do not fully achieve official organisation or universal sanitation on a good day and the USSR/Ukraine were generally poorly equipped. There is not a disater that is directly comparable because no 2 disasters ever are.
What you can compare is human responses. It is the only ever present feature of a disaster, people will feel pity for the victims. Well, unless those victims are perceived to be able to "cope".
How many funerals did you attend because of the F&M crisis? I was present at 2. But then, my (rural) community are predominantly white, British and perceived to be fine. Even when farmers were breaking down in front of news cameras saying we don't know how we will survive, the appeal did not materialise. Consequently many people did not survive, either financially or actually. You have no right to argue that those 2 lost lives were any the less valuable than any other. They were preventable deaths, that we, as a country, did not prevent.
The Japanese may be refusing help because of thier pride, but since when did we have the right to tell another culture how to feel about itself? The British are noted for thier pride in their own home, whereas many African cultures would believe homes should be more open and communal. The Japanese have as much right to run thier own show as you do to make your own choices who may live with you. Were you Austrian you would have to let your spare bedroom to anyone who asked- I doubt you would like this much as a Brit.
Tolerance and understanding means accepting when you are not superior and do not have a moral right to dictate. It means when people plead and cry and beg for your help, when lives are on the line, you help. When those people say it's ok, we will do this ourselves you back off, and leave the offer open ust in case. If you ever have to spend any time in a wheelchair you will realise how incredibly frustrating it is not to be respected as worthy of your own oppinion.