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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate living in Manchester (and North in general)

928 replies

ILikeMilk · 11/01/2011 13:16

Moved here four years ago to be with DH, and I still cannot get used to it. We are in a nicest area of Manchester, and it is still feels very provincial and boring. I dream about living in London, but DH does not want to look for a new job. I feel like there is no point and don?t want to decorate the house, make friends, etc, I just fantasise about being in London every single day. There is not much to do here, no nice streets or galleries, not much to do on the weekends as a family. I went to London this weekend, it was so painful to come back. Does anybody else feel this way?

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeMilk · 26/01/2011 12:46

I wish lizzy! Then I wont live in Manchester, I'll be in Monte Carlo, arghh...

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikeMilk · 26/01/2011 12:50

I thought posh means upper class as oposed to Nouveau riche? Did not mean it as an insult, just not sure you can describe Hale as "posh". It is mostly Nouveau riche like footballers/professionals/etc living here.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 26/01/2011 12:54
Grin I think a lot of South Manchester is a bit new money to be honest, but I don't think that is a bad thing.

I thought you were being snooty Wink

Didsbury has some lovely bits, sounds like you were in the studenty part.

Original poster
ILikeMilk · 26/01/2011 12:55

I went to the High street, the one with the fish monger and a Costa coffee. I've been to Didsbury before a few times, went to some restaurants/bars, it was ok, just some posters said it was so much better than Hale where I live now and I disagree.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 26/01/2011 13:01

I think posh is as posh does, to a lot of people Hale is posh as you need a fair wodge of cash to buy a decent house there.

Fwiw I agree with you, I have a friend who lives there and have been out for dinner and bars in Hale a few times. I did chuckle to myself a fair bit. Lots of bad botox as well Grin

Though I do know some lovely people who live there as well, so perhaps it was the wrong bar/restaurant?

MrSpoc · 26/01/2011 13:02

Hale has some of the most expensive houses outside of London according to a report recently i.e hilltop rd.

Also i dont like Didsbury at all but alot of young professionals are moving to West Didsbury as its the "New London" apprantly.

My idea of Posh is big houses, expensive cars etc not, My great, great ,great grandfather made a furtune and hass passed it onto the family who have never had to work a day in their lifes. that is just a rich benefits cheat (ok its not the same).

MrSpoc · 26/01/2011 13:03

I wnet out to Suburbia this weekend and would never go back, it is the most pretentious place I have every been.

Original poster
ILikeMilk · 26/01/2011 13:05

But MrSpoc, dont you think that alot of money does not buy class?

OP posts:
Longstocking2 · 26/01/2011 13:17

I think Manchester can be a bit hard if you're a proper southern Jessie and used to the good things about London.

I found it not always the friendliest place, but once you've won people over they are really genuine people. The southern accent definitely irritates the dyed in the wool Manc tho, imho.

I think you have to put everything else behind you and go for it 100%. Manchester has a lot going on. You may just need to go a bit further to get it. I've always joined the committee at playgroups and that's a great way to make proper friends.

Books groups, yoga classes, it can take time but there's no point in thinking about what might have been. Go for it, give it your full effort and you'll love it there. LOndon ain't perfect. And having a great relationship is worth a hell of a lot in my opinion.

Original poster
ILikeMilk · 26/01/2011 13:37

Thank yo Longstocking. I met a few mums with the kids of the same age and we do meet during the day, and sometimes organise girls nights out. I guess DH is right when he says I just need something to moan about, LOL.

OP posts:
Longstocking2 · 28/01/2011 13:18

ILikemilk I empathise, that's just what my dh says. He says i hate everywhere we live until we get ready to move and then I sob like a lunatic and have to be dragged away from the kerb by professionals to wherever we're going which I immediately hate for years.

Cup half full?
Cup half empty?
I'm unfortunately one of the latter!

MrSpoc · 28/01/2011 13:54

ILikeMilk money does not buy class but I would not say Posh = Class either.

I know alot of people who have class but are not snobs or posh and many people who have no money who think they are posh but have no class what so ever.

Anyhow how are you finding Hale now? there are some nice restaurants there like piccalinos, Man Zen, Dee Tie. (My favourite Pizza Express lol)

If you are struggling to adjust and make friends my offer still stands as my wife enjoys meeting new people.

Ceebeejay · 07/03/2011 23:41

excuse me if I point out the obvious here - Hale is most definitely NOT Manchester!! It is an extremely stuck up part of Trafford - I live in Didsbury which IS South Manchester and would never ever dream of living somewhere like Hale!!
the worst parents at my DD's school live there - so stuck up they won't socialise with other parents!! My advice would be to travel or move into Manchester and start getting involved there - ppl are much friendlier

Magpiesandi · 18/04/2011 12:02

I moved to Hale six months ago from London.
I was really unsure about the area to begin with but now I am very happy here and have made some good friends.
I was guilty of thinking everyone in Hale had a fake tan, a 4x4 and five holidays a year and thought I'd never fit in when I first moved here but - although I still haven't warmed to that side of the area (!) - I have met some really nice people who I feel I have a lot in common with.
Truth be told I would probably prefer to live in Didsbury or Chorlton as it is more 'me', but as a family Hale seemed a better choice. Plus we found a house we loved that we could afford. (I was shocked at the house prices in Disbury!)
Yes I still miss London but we try to go there every other month for a night or two and I get my fix that way.
You have to throw yourself into things and make an effort.
And if you truly do that and you're still this unhappy, well yes, maybe you need to find somewhere else to live.
Good luck!

kennypowers · 18/04/2011 12:57

Longstocking2 - It's not a southern accent that riles us, it's the kind of attitude displayed by the op that does it.

Manchester is one of the most historically important cities in the world. It is England's second city. Mancunians (in my experience) are far more open minded than Londoners.

If you can't find anything to do in Manchester, you aren't looking.

There are trains bound for London leaving Piccadilly on a regular basis, and you don't even have to get off at Stockport.

newmum001 · 18/04/2011 13:05

I LOVE living in manchester!! To be honest if you actually made an effort and made friends/went out you'd find that there is actually loads to do. No ones going to come knocking on your door to make your life wonderful no matter where you live!

diabolo · 18/04/2011 13:13

Well I live in the South of England now, from Leeds originally and spent a happy couple of years living in Hale and working in Manchester.

Provincial? How?
Boring? How?
Can you give us some examples?

Manchester has theatres, museums, designer shops, history, millionaires, top drawer football teams, Michelin star restaurants, trendy bars, a great public transport system, millions of people etc.

I don't see how it could be described as provincial and boring.

Is it your life that you are finding boring perhaps? No friends locally??? I'm not surprised with the attitude you display in your OP.

oohlaalaa · 18/04/2011 13:16

DH works in Manchester, we live in North Wales though.

National Trust have some lovely walks around Alderley Edge and Altrincham. Also like Delamere Forest for walking and biking. I'm not a city person, but lots of lovely areas outside of manchester (Peak District and Lake District not far for weekends away)

We have some friends who live near Malpas which is very nice. Perhaps you need to change area?

I'm from Shropshire originally, so not so big a move.

knittedbreast · 18/04/2011 13:38

move to preston!

AccioPinotGrigio · 18/04/2011 14:29

If after 4 years you haven't adjusted to the location there is nothing for it but to get out.

We moved to Hebden Bridge 10 years ago after 20 years of London. The first year was tough but now we wouldn't go back. Everything we need is here and we don't need much. Not needing much is the key to contentment.

SpringHeeledJack · 18/04/2011 14:36

Fuck. I live in London, but if someone burst in wearing a balaklava brandishing a shooter and said "Oi! relocate up North, naaaaah" I would be up to Manchester like a shot, I would

(I come from the north east, me. Enough said)

MrSpoc · 18/04/2011 14:38

SpringHeeledJack - whatttt !!!!!

veg2grow · 18/04/2011 14:42

Most people will do anything to live in Hale as its deemed to be very nice. I cannot imagine that it is as bad as you make it out to be. I guess you do need to make an effort and get out. It will feel very different if you made/had some friends locally.

I wouldn't want to live in Hale as I think it is very much 'keeping up appearances' kind of place.

Also cannot believe it when you say there are no parks you live within 15mins of two very large National Trust Parks.

Perhaps you need to change the way you think otherwise it won't get any better. London is not all that its cracked up to be.

MikeOxstiff · 18/04/2011 14:45

AccioPinotGrigio
Isnt Hebden the lesbian capital of England
doolally valley as it is known to outsiders

Do you know Newzealand Pete?

AccioPinotGrigio · 18/04/2011 15:05

No, don't know newzealand pete. Do know a lot of lesbians though.