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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to really dislike the newborn stage?

107 replies

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 06/12/2010 09:28

DD2 is 5 weeks. She was a very welcome surprise, but by god I had blanked out how rotten the newborn stage is. She has three states: sleeping, feeding, and screaming. The latter predominates; the former is rare and very hard won. Occasionally I get rewarded with a smile, but most often these are reserved for the cat.

I am a knackered, scruffy harridan, barking at poor DD1 and fat through ready meals and comfort chocolate. AIBU to be counting down the days until she's a lovely giggly 6month old?

OP posts:
woolymindy · 06/12/2010 09:31

YABVU

redskyatnight · 06/12/2010 09:32

I agree. Never understood why people coo over little babies. Until they start moving about and don't need constant care they are just too much like hard work!!

burps · 06/12/2010 09:33

Personally I think YANBU. I have recently had my first DD and it has been a real shock to me.

santasbluebaubles · 06/12/2010 09:34

The newborn stage is bloody hard work, yes. And so much of it depends on the baby IME......DD2 was a chilled out, relaxed newborn who fed every 3 hours and slept in between. DD1 on the other hand, was an absolute nightmare slightly more challenging.

All I can say is that although it might not feel like it now, this stage passes so quickly. Sleep when you can, eat when you can and ask for help. Do you have a relative or friend nearby who can help out?

notacluebutlearning · 06/12/2010 09:36

I love the newborn stage - soo special and precious. But I've been lucky with two very contented babies. Just remember that it doesn't last long and you can't get that time back.

discobeaver · 06/12/2010 09:38

Not a fan of the teeny squidgy stage either, I much prefer my kids now they are able to form opinions and seem like proper people.
That sounds a bit harsh probably, but I just don't find the really early stages very rewarding.

Maybe it's due to tiredness/recovering from being pregnant.

faverolles · 06/12/2010 09:38

I love newborns too.
I'm really looking forward to it this time, even if I have another screamer, because at least it will be one child in my house who won't argue with me Xmas Grin

moccachoccachino · 06/12/2010 09:39

I don't think YABU.

Much as we shouldn't wish away those first few weeks it is very hard work but more than that, I don't think I relaxed with either of my dc's until they were around 3 months.

As you know though, this stage really doesn't last long - hope you get a bit more sleep soon Smile

Mumwithadragontattoo · 06/12/2010 09:40

Newborn babies are very cute but such hard work. My DS (DC2) is now a cute, snuggly 8 month old who eats solid food and sleeps through the night and it's bliss! Hang in there - it doesn't last long and when it's gone you'll be looking back with nostalgia!

mistletoeploppy · 06/12/2010 09:40

YANBU. I feel the same way. I wish they could be born a year old! Actually....ouch...no, maybe not...

Lizbertnobacon · 06/12/2010 09:40

Yanbu but a word of comfort, my dd has just hit 6 months and is a happy bundle of chuckles and the time has FLOWN so even though its hard now it will pass in the blink of an eye and you will forget the newborn stage just as quickly!

AllGoodNamesGone · 06/12/2010 09:40

YANBU, we all have stages we like better than others.

Personally, I would take a newborn over a toddler any day of the week Grin

GiddyPickle · 06/12/2010 09:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bruffin · 06/12/2010 09:44

i like them once they get to 3 months, sleeping through and starting to get some personality

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 06/12/2010 09:44

oh, i do feel normal now.
i had been besieged by people telling me to treasure every precious moment, and had been on the verge of selling DD2 to one of them so they can "treasure the moments" instead. Or at least lending her out on a 6 month lease.

I am ACE with toddlers though Wink.

OP posts:
EarthMotherImNot · 06/12/2010 09:49

I too prefer newborns, they are all we foster these days having cared for all stages up to 10 years old.

Newborns to me are like flowers [soppy emoticon] they bloom and blossom before your very eyes and they smell divineGrin

motherinferior · 06/12/2010 09:52

The first few months of DD1's life were without doubt the hardest of mine. They weren't triffic with DD2 either.

I used to look at the people who told me sanctimoniously to 'enjoy it while it lasted' with utter hatred. And then when DD1 was about, ooh, seven weeks old some daft (pregnant) bint said to me 'it must have gone so quickly' and I looked at her through my sagging baggy eyes, out of my saggy baggy greying face, and said with Utter Despair - and truth - that no, they had been the longest seven weeks of my life.

My daughters are now seven and nine and utterly adorable Grin.

motherinferior · 06/12/2010 09:53

It may not last long but it feels about a million years. Not least because you're awake for most of it.

alfabetty · 06/12/2010 09:56

I remember nearly bursting in to tears when an old lady said 'ooh, treasure every moment' when DC1 was a tiny baby. I felt I was wasting this marvelous time as I found it so hard. It all got much better after a few months and has been on an upwards curve ever since!

And it's harder when you have another child to look after, plenty more guilt opportunities!

There's a lot of pressure to 'make the most' of their newborn days, but not everyone feels like that. I loved my babies, but I am much happier and contented and more relaxed now they are little people.

So YANBU, and don't feel guilty!

PeasPlease · 06/12/2010 09:58

YANBU

notalone · 06/12/2010 10:02

YANBU - I didn't like the baby stage either. The first 6 weeks or so were a huge shock with Ds. As soon as he started to coo and smile it all got better therefore I am going to have my next child born at the 10 week mark Smile

duchesse · 06/12/2010 10:02

Oh goodness, mine are newborns for less than a month before they start struggling to be on their feet all the time and want to be entertained through the day. So actually I find the newborn stage where all you have to do is give them milk, warmth and comfort, and sing and talk to them, very easy compared to the older baby stage (all four of mine have been on their feet from 3-4 mo, holding onto things and trying to move around, and needing a LOT of supervision until they start crawling (6-7 months or walking, generally at 9-10 months). Would LOVE to have a newborn that stays newborn for 2-3 months as most people's do.

5 weeks is very young still though OP. Within a couple of weeks she will start to become a lot more interactive. It feels like forever, but it's truly not, I swear.

TattytinsellooksDevine · 06/12/2010 10:02

I had 2 of those easy types who eat and sleep and make cute scrunchy newborn noises so I am a fan but I have witnessed the unsettled collicky type and that doesn't look like fun. YANBU even if yours is somewhere in between though, I think its lucky they start to smile a bit at 6 weeks and tend to drop a feed around that time too (make sure its at night!) otherwise it might start to get a bit tedious.

My daughter was the cutest ever scrunchy newborn - she made such sweet girly noises and would just snuggle into anyone and sleep peacefully. And she had such skinny bird like legs I thought she might break. Funny because she was 9 pounds 2 born but she seemed tiny to me as I was used to my toddler boy by that stage...

Emo76 · 06/12/2010 10:05

YANBU. It can be relentless and seemingly unrewarding especially through a lack of sleep. It does get better!!

BertieBottlesOfMulledWine · 06/12/2010 10:05

I love newborns. Not so keen on the stage from 3 months until they can both crawl AND sit unaided, so they need less constant entertaining.

However my love of newborns might have a rose tint as DS is 2 now Grin

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