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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get a cleaner?

68 replies

PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 08:49

I am working 25 hours a week after a maternity break, mornings, DH has been working afternoons, doing very physical work, he has the children in the morning, we swap. This is not likely to last as his work is not permanent but for now, he is working.

DD is going to school in sept.

DS is not sleeping well. I am shattered, even though DH does not help at night, he is still awake a lot, so he is tired.

The house is chaos, we are stuggling to keep on top of it all. DH does most of the cooking, we just have not got ourselves organised.

I want to be able to do it ourselves. I want us to be able to manage, and I feel a bit like a failure for not being able to organise ourselves.

We don't have much money, but I think I am prepared to sacrifice some other luxuries/non essentials in order to get a cleaner. I was thinking 2 hours a week, just to do some of the most essential things.

AIBU, should I just my own house in order so to speak?

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 11:17

I just spoke to DH and he said no we don't need one! Shock! We have talked about it before, lots, hypothetically, if we could afford it we would do it, how much easier it would be.

And now I have actually said we 'need' one, like, now he has said 'no we don't, we are doing fine, i thought we were managing ok'. I said we were not, we were descending into chaos and he has taken this as a slight against the work he does to keep on top of things. I have tried to explain that it does not mean we stop doing housework, but will mean that when we do, we stand a better chance of it lasting more than 5 mins and mean we don't spend ALL our time tidying just to keep on top of things, giving us no time to do other essentials, like declutter when we need to, re-organise cupboards/storage, have a life once the kids are in bed.

So now, he is cleaning up, humping, trying to demonstrate this ability of his to clean. THEN!!! I was clearing out DSs room so we can put him in it, and he said 'we need to do the rest of the house first' exactly. That was my point ! no time to do that as we have to do the rest first then we will be knackered/kids will be bored! So it won't get done!

OP posts:
BertieBasset · 22/08/2010 11:21

Agree a 4 week trial with him maybe. Because when he sees the magic a good cleaner works there is no way he'll be getting rid of them!

Heracles · 22/08/2010 11:43

I've never had one bout would like to have in the future. How do you go about agreeing what gets done? How much should you expect to get done?

PDR · 22/08/2010 11:54

Pavlov I am in Devon too and pay a housekeeper to come one day a week and she charges £9 per hour. She does everything - from gardening to cleaning to popping to the shops for me. She is fab. I love her.

It helps our family so much and really makes a difference to my relationship with DH as I am not constantly nagging him!!!

DO IT!

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 13:35

PDR does she do the same stuff each week or do you rotate the work?

heracles i have no idea!

I am thinking that I will want the following done

each week - hoover/wash all floors (clean - kitchen/bathroom and front room floors, hoover the rest, but have lots of stairs), empty dishwasher, clean worktops/sink/cooker top in kitchen, clean sink/bath/toilet/surfaces in bathroom, pick up any debris lying around and put in designated basket (will try to do this first, but whatever is left). If there is any washing on the clothes rail, fold and place in washing basket for us to put away.

Once a month - to do one per week - wash cupboards down in kitchen, clean windows, clean oven (happy to pay for a seperate hour for this one, its a grim job!), wipe down doors throughout the house, clean skirting.

If I have all that done, I can do the washing, change the beds, and the ironing, and the daily keeping on top of it all (DH and I between us).

Can all that be done in 2 hours, with the additional hour for the oven or am I asking for the moon on a stick?

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 13:41

Do I provide the equipment for them to do it, or will they provide it themselves? (ie, dusters, polish etc).

OP posts:
franke · 22/08/2010 14:15

Once the cleaner gets into their stride (and ime this can take a couple of weeks) you may find you can keep on top of things like emptying the dishwasher yourselves. Also wrt the oven, you could spray it with some kind of deadly cleaner the night before the cleaner comes so that it won't be so arduous to get the debris off.

An experienced cleaner will tell you what from the list is doable in the 2 hours. And please, please give them a chance to get used to your place before you write them off as a bit rubbish. After a few weeks, you'll wonder how you ever managed without them.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 14:23

franke oh yes I agree with all of that, i will not be stopping the housework either! just means we won't be cleaning an absolutely minging floor, just refreshing it when the kids spill their food, and same with the sides, and the hoovering, a quick whizz to get the cat hair up rather than the deep cleans that always seem needed.

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 14:26

oh that is interesting, about returning to work...i shall go have a read.

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 14:26

oops other thread!

OP posts:
franke · 22/08/2010 14:27

You provide the equipment and materials normally.

Can you tell I feel quite passionately about cleaners Grin I think I've posted more on your thread than any other I've been on in years. I'm very excited for you.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 14:30

Grin i have a dyson hoover, so thats ok, will they tell me what they need or shall i just get everything. will the feather duster have to be pink Wink

OP posts:
franke · 22/08/2010 14:34

They will tell you if there is anything specific they need. But they will also work with what you use eg if you go for very eco-friendly stuff then they will use that (if you're buying Smile).

franke · 22/08/2010 14:35

I think the thing to do is find someone on a recommendation, get them along to your house and talk it all through with them. Have a list of things to ask.

Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 14:36

i will ask at work, but how else would i get a recommendation? the only person i know with a cleaner lives several hundred miles away, or in USA!

OP posts:
Original poster
PavlovtheCat · 22/08/2010 15:09

AHA!!! How about a french speaking cleaner?!!!! i want to DD to have french tuition, so she could have an hour teaching DD on top of 2 hours cleaning, formally, but DD could practice while she is here too, or just get to hear her speaking...then as a student the cleaner will also be gaining teaching experience...

(i saw one advertised on gumtree, hence my idea!)

OP posts:
belledechocolatefluffybunny · 22/08/2010 17:23

God, a housekeeper. I thought you could only get one of these if you had other staff? This would be fab, someone to make sure I'd sorted the bills out. Where do you find one?

willsywoo · 22/08/2010 17:28

Yanbu....man i'd love to have a cleaner...i' d never ever leave dirty underwear lying around or anything like that...in fact i'd probably clean up before she/he arrived!..Grin

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 22/08/2010 17:30

I need to declutter before I get one or she/he won't be able to do any cleaning apart from the bathroom and the kitchen! Blush

Quattrocento · 22/08/2010 17:39

Go for it - why on earth would you think you are being unreasonable?

Our cleaner is a godsend and comes for 8 hours a week. She does all of the upstairs (including changing all the beds), all of the downstairs and all of the ironing. It's brilliant!

Also I do commend Bonsoir's suggestion. I hire a skip for a day every easter and declutter every single room. So therapeutic!

purplearmadillo · 22/08/2010 17:44

I used to have a cleaner but moved to a smaller house so thought I didn't need one any more. I miss it more than you would believe. She wasn't the greatest cleaner but knowing that someone was going to give all the bathrooms and the kitchen a really good clean once a week made a real difference to us, and it freed up our time for other things.

I am definitely planning to get a cleaner at some point in our new house, but am struggling to find one because I've moved areas and don't have any recommendations as yet.

Emo76 · 22/08/2010 17:50

Sounds like money well spent. Try word of mouth to find someone reliable and thorough. Good luck!

cardibach · 22/08/2010 18:05

YANBU.
It is not about 'failure' it's about choosing how best to spend your time. For you. Not for anybody else.

If you choose to save your free time for family/sleeping/drinking wine rather than cleaning, that's up to you. Go for it.

Ephiny · 22/08/2010 18:18

I definitely recommend getting a cleaner, it's lovely coming home to find a sparkling clean kitchen and bathroom and the floors mopped and hoovering and dusting done, and knowing you don't have to worry about having the time or energy to do it. I wouldn't worry about having to absolutely 'need' it - if you can afford it, and feel it would improve your quality of life and give you more time to focus on other things, then why not?

We provide the products/materials, though some cleaners prefer to buy their own and you reimburse them for it.

Ours does the above and also cleans fridge/oven when needed, empties and refills the dishwasher, makes the beds and does general tidying of that kind, sorts and folds any laundry on the airer or hangs up damp stuff from the washing machine, had offered to do ironing but I don't feel it's needed. I hadn't thought of asking her to change the beds but I don't see why not, though I don't mind doing this myself. She does 3 hours per week, for £20, I feel it's well worth the money.

Fiddledee · 22/08/2010 18:35

How many hours you depends on the size of the house - no. of loos, bedrooms, size of kitchen etc.. IME more than 3 hours and they don't really do that extra hour (even if house is big) and less than 3 hours you can only really expect them to clean bathroom, kitchen, mop floors and a hoover round with a bit of dusting. I just get a company to clean my oven every 3-6 months but I don't mind if its not sparkling and clean every day.

DH also didn't want a cleaner but on the 2 occasions he has cleaned the 2 bathrooms and the loo he is so bad tempered that even he recognised it wasn't working.

Getting a good cleaner is a completely different issue though, personal recommendation works to some extent but people have different standards so what one friend will think that a house is fantastically clean another won't. Also I find they are often great for the first 3-6 months and then go downhill rapidly.