Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Allergies and intolerances

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

"perhaps it would be better if you found more suitable care..."

72 replies

bobbybob · 05/08/2005 02:01

Read the letter from ds's Pre School I got today.

Despite me providing a Doctors letter, research from the NZ Ministry of Health, and having the support of Allergy New Zealand, they still reckon their research (which they haven't shown me) is better.

Thus they will continue to serve up meals that contain peanut products and if I'm not happy - well I just need to take my son out.

I have written to my MP, it's election time and one of the platforms for the Govt is Early years education for all.

I nearly threw up when i read the bit about all their children being special - well obviously the "normal" children are more special.

OP posts:
Original poster
bobbybob · 07/08/2005 02:26

They have the Heart Foundation healthy heart award for pre schools - and that is all they care about.

OP posts:
KiwiKate · 07/08/2005 07:19

I can't understand why the Heart Foundation even has a "healthy award" for preschools. Preschoolers don't get heart disease from poor diet. In fact, they need all those fats that are bad for adults.

KiwiKate · 07/08/2005 07:41

"fats" that are bad for adults, I mean

Original poster
bobbybob · 07/08/2005 07:42

Simple - MONEY.

They sell the HF Tick to food manufacturers under strict criteria - for instance chicken nuggets that have half the salt of tradtional ones. But why did they have all that salt in the first place? - because the same food manufacturer put it there.

Who (sadly) eat the most packaged crap - children.

I realise that the money that they get from this is spent on worthwhile things, but it is misleading - for instance things can be allergenic or toothrottingly full of fruit juice and still carry the tick.

I wonder if there are more allergic children than obese ones?

OP posts:
Twiglett · 07/08/2005 08:38

what a pain in the neck and how dare they

I am furious on your behalf bobbybob

think you're doing the right thing .. look for alternative childcare then make the biggest, most public fuss ever over their appalling treatment

Original poster
bobbybob · 07/08/2005 09:11

I'm going to meet the childminder tomorrow. She actually lives next door to a friend - which could be handy if dh gets delayed! I would never have considered one before (not sure why, just everyone uses preschools or nannies) but Bob can go for the 3 afternoons of different lengths that I teach and it's the same price as him going to preschool for a day and a half and me having to improvise on the other afternoon.

I recommended this Pre School to lots of my friends and friends of friends when they first opened with the lovely centre director - they are about to see what happens when I don't like them anymore.

But yes first we have to get him settled and happy elsewhere.

OP posts:
tatt · 07/08/2005 14:40

I'm sorry, bobbybob. Always seemed like this was what they wanted but I'd hoped they would see sense. Any disability legislation in NZ that you can use against them? The disability rights commission is active here.

foxinsocks · 07/08/2005 15:18

bobbybob, sorry this has happened to you (and bob!)

we had to withdraw dd from a nursery (in London) because they kept on feeding her food she was allergic to. None of her reactions were anaphylactic (luckily) but they were bad enough that her health deteriorated enormously and I had to give up work to care for her and fully nurse her back to health.

This sort of thing makes me mad - I'm glad your MP is going to look into it. I think you may find (sadly) that childminder/nanny care will be the only way you will get some peace of mind.

Original poster
bobbybob · 07/08/2005 20:22

Human Right legislation says they can't ask him to leave (or strongly imply this) unless it would be unreasonable for them to comply with the needs of his disability. For instance a child in a wheelchair in an old historic building that would cost $100,000 to adapt and was only going to be there 1 day a week for 6 months.

I think throwing in some lentils instead is not unreasonable.

They have obviously read the same thing because there letter did mention that they had looked at alternatives, but in the best interests of all the children it was not reasonable to change for Bob.

Lots of preschools have Peanut Free signs outside - so I can't imagine that their argument would stand up much in law.

OP posts:
Original poster
bobbybob · 08/08/2005 10:56

Childminder was okay - but turned out to have 2 cats - may just be swapping one allergy for another here.

Also one of my friends who doesn't "get it" goes to her (would have been different days, but she has just increased it) and I just can't rely on her not to send her kids in with Peanut butter sandwiches - which puts us back at square one.

Speaking to a nanny agency tomorrow and hopefully my MP will get back to me soon.

OP posts:
tatt · 08/08/2005 13:18

Maybe if you have a lot of trouble the childminder could do lunch for the other child? Sounds like a real nightmare. The DRC take cases themselves when they think there's a general issue, wish you had something similar to help.

Original poster
bobbybob · 09/08/2005 02:32

The Pre School is not the issue here - they love Bob and he loves them - but it's a chain and head office have made this ridiculous change and now won't back down.

In there letter there was rather weak talk of a compromise - so I have called their bluff and asked that ds can go at noon after the lunch is cleared up and the children are having a rest (so he gets one too and also because I start work at 1pm) but I only want to pay the afternoon rate. This is a very good compromise by me, which I hope will be short term because the MP will sort it out...

I will get another cleaner, or give my existing cleaner more hours so that I can keep on top of my paperwork.

If they say no, or want more money then they have just taken against me.

OP posts:
Chuffed · 09/08/2005 10:27

bobbybob I have just been talking to my mum about this who is a kindy teacher in Auckland. They have a severely allergic to peanut child at the moment and have a 'healthy food policy' and wrote a letter explaining to all the parents that under no circumstances could any child bring in anything with nuts in it. They had one letter of complaint from a mother who thought it was disgusting that her child was being denied their favourite sandwich filling but that was nipped in the bud by a return letter and none of the teachers could believe someone would have the cheek to write a letter when it was a life and death situation.
They are able to do this and have it work and they don't even cook their food but have to check all the children's food when this little boy is in and it has worked fine.
All mum kept saying on the phone was they can't do that, they are in the wrong, it is against the rules.

Original poster
bobbybob · 09/08/2005 10:35

But what rules Chuffed? They make their rules. A kindy or a school doesn't get much choice, but a private enterprise can do what it wants as long as it doesn't flaunt the Human Rights Act.

And I have had mothers complain to me that little Johnny can't eat a peanut butter sandwich at playcentre ('it's all he will eat"). To which I reply, "sorry, I'm missing the bit where I was supposed to feel sorry for you..."

OP posts:
oops · 09/08/2005 10:36

Message withdrawn

Original poster
bobbybob · 09/08/2005 10:41

A couple of mothers have commented that they don't know how i can stay calm.

Of course the correct answer is Mumsnet! But also I want to show ds that it is possible to stand up for what you believe is right whilst;

Remaining dignified
Keeping focused on the ideology and not getting bogged down with personality clashes
Keeping other options in the background
Accepting that the final solution may be a compromise - but you have made the world that bit more ready for the big change

OP posts:
feelingold · 09/08/2005 11:55

I do not know of anyone with a peanut allergy and therefore can not help with any policies etc but if my kids came home from school with a letter asking that we do not send any food into school with nuts in because another child was severely allergic then I would not hesitate to comply (ffs a childs life depends upon it!!!)

Good luck with your campaign and I hope you can find some happy and safe childcare.

Chuffed · 09/08/2005 13:29

bobbybob I don't have a clue what rules she was talking about, she just kept saying they can't do that. I'll ask but you could be right that private vs public is different.

Saacsmum · 09/08/2005 22:19

The rules she is referring to will be both the New Zealand Early Childhood Regulations and as I said their own policies and procedures would be in breach of what they are doing. All licensed centres are bound by the regulations and need to have written policies covering things like health, safety, nutrition etc which need to be approved by ERO. Still think that contacting the licensee, or ministry would be worthwhile. Will try to find my copy of the regulations and see what they say...copies are available from Bennets, govt bookshop in town. The regs are open to interpretation in most areas but I am sure there is something about ensuring the safety and well being of all children. The other document they are bound by is the early childhood curriculum Te Whaariki..."Well Being Goal 1...Children experience an environment where their health is promoted...", pg 48. "Well Being Goal 3, Children experience an environment where they are kept safe from harm....",pg 50 "Belonging Goal 2 Children experience an environment where they know they have a place...",pg 58 "Contribution Goal 1, Children experience an environment where there are equitale opportunities for learning, irrespective of gender, ability, age, ethnicity, or background...",pg 66 "Contribution Goal 2 Children experience an environment where they are affirmed as individuals..."pg 68

KiwiKate · 10/08/2005 08:20

In case you are interested, Bobbybob:

The NZ Early Childhood Regulations (reprinted as of 2005 - not sure if it includes the 2005 amendments) can be found here

Other NZ education regs etc can be accessed (including the 2005 amendments to the Early Childhood Regs here

I've not had a look at what they say. As I understand it, even private facilities have to comply with the regulations.

Bobbybob, you may also want to search the Education Review Authority - as they also have requirements for Early Childhood Centres.

Original poster
bobbybob · 10/08/2005 10:27

They are so bloody minded at the HO that they probably think that they are fulfilling:

"Contribution Goal 2 Children experience an environment where they are affirmed as individuals..."pg 68

by singling him out, giving him crap food etc.

First day of returning to afternoons only, I'm going to take him swimming in the morning, but I resent not being able to go on my own. Selfish mother alert but it was nice to have an hour a week when I didn't have to worry about allergies, nappies or my business.

OP posts:
Original poster
bobbybob · 11/08/2005 01:26

He's gone in for his afternoon and seemed cool about getting straight into bed when he got there. They had put his bed right next to the place they had just had lunch though - with all the bits on the floor. I asked that they moved him as far away as possible in future.

OP posts:
tatt · 11/08/2005 06:30

Hope those reguulations or your MP is some help. No way should these people be able to get away with this.

Original poster
bobbybob · 19/08/2005 07:29

MP visited me at home and took lots of notes. I said my ideal situation was that we could go back to the way thing were 3 months ago, and she is seeing what she can do.

OP posts:
tatt · 20/08/2005 06:16

Good for her. Let us know how she gets on.