Peanuts in Halloween Goodie Bag - I'm very angry

[hellish]

This is a bit of a AIBU. We're in Canada where Halloween is a HUGE thing, but also anaphylaxis is much more common and more widely known about.

We went Trick or Treating, now I don't expect people to check labels the way I do. BUT someone had gone to the trouble of preparing lovely little goodie bags with several treat inside to hand out.

They contained 5/6 loose peanuts in their shells.

Even the traces of peanuts on the person's hands could have caused a reaction in my dd as they handed it over.

I know she's mine and I may be over reacting, but what would you think?

I don't actually agree with trick or treating, and this is one of the reasons why. I feel like it is a form of begging, and these people have gone to all this effort, but you can't then dictate to them what they give. I wouldn't really be happy with my kids getting fistfuls of sweets, I'd prefer the peanuts! SO really it is your responsibility to check what he is given.

You're obviously more aware of it because of your dd and rightly so. Unfortuantely though, if it was an older person who made up the bags, they probably just didn't think about it. It sounds like, whoever it was, was trying to do something nice, by the way you describe the goodie bags, but I see your point. I'd be cross too.

Tbh, I think the onus was on you to have taken the goodie bag in view of your dd's allergies.

I can understand you would feel upset/distressed in case she did have a reaction though.

dd1 has a similar allergy, as most of the sweets handed out on halloween are loose, dd1 assumes that they do have nuts in and does not eat any, that is not what halloween is about, it is about the dressing up and here(scotland) doing "a turn" a joke, song or poem. Can understand how you got a fright but luckily it came to nothing and will leave you prepared for something similar happening next year,
chopster, of course you would prefer your kids to have a handful of nuts but I would prefer my dd1 had a bag of bolts, it is our responsibilty as parents to ensure the kids dont get these things, but you stop looking at nuts as a food type and more like a poison.

Even if no peanuts were given, your child could have a reaction if they recieved sweets etc from someone who had just been eating some themselves.
You have no idea when accepting treats from a stranger and it's your choice to run that risk.
Sorry, but it's your responsibility.

Maybe OP is just shocked at the ignorance of somebody, however well meaning, in putting such an obviously (you'd think) hazardous foodstuff in a goodie bag - we're not allowed to send Ds to school with nut-related items in his own lunch, and if it's more known in Canada she probably thought everyone would know there was some risk involved with peanuts.
However I agree that it is a risky sport asking strangers for gifts and therefore the parent's job to check they contain no risk to her child.
I suspect as a PP said, the person had no inkling of the risk. I doubt they would do it intentionally to cause harm.

Agree with JV, Mercy and clueless.

DS2 has several food allergies, and I always take the goodies first, and check them when we get home.

Most of what he collects get passed onto his brother and cousins, as he can't eat it.

But the fun is in the dressing up and joining in.

I don't think it is fair to blame people who are kindly giving out treats.

They can't think of everything, and it isn't their responsibility to do so.

I can see how scary it must have been for you, so next year you'll have to check everything first.

A bit odd really, must have been an older person not aware of how common peanut allergy now is.
Remember when we were kids, you'd always get fistfuls of shelled peanuts in your Halloween treat bag?! Along with those chewy molasses toffee-like things, I don't think they have those anymore at all (I'm in Canada too!)
Even most chocolate bars are not guaranteed nut-free so I guess if your child is going to go trick or treating you just have to check.
Ds1 is 4 and I went through his bag just to toss the really bad stuff (gum and lollipops) before he got a good look at it!

I'm sorry, I don't like trick or treating because of the begging aspect, so I'm biased, but I really don't understand why you would allow a child with food allergies to go round asking for food.

The goody bags sound lovely and they'd gone to a lot of trouble AND managed to provide something a bit healthier as well.

I know a child who would suffer the same reaction to milk. Does that mean there should be no chocolate in such bags either?

Sorry to be unsympathetic, but we are responsible for what our children eat.

Halloween kisses, I meant, just remembered!

You are over reacting - if she is allergic to foodstuffs you should take her round to stranger's doors asking for food.

Beggers can't be choosers.

shouldn't

It must be a real worry and i do sympathise. But as others have said even choclates cannot be guarrenttes ad nut free, and people would also have to think about milk and egg allergies etc etc

My son has an awful allergy to cats and dods, and I hate it that it triggers hos asthma. But I can't expect the rest of the world to fit in with ds's allergy, however much I might want it to.

I don't think that you are being unreasonable, you were worried for the wellbeing of your dd, but I think that it is unlikely that this is going to be the first and last time it will happen.

agree with Colditz

There is something about this begging term that really gets my back up, not sure why, I know I felt quite uncomfy about taking the kids out trick or treating initially but only cos I felt quite initmidated my a situtation I was unfamiliar with, most kids only go to houses where they are known and expected, we went to one house this year who had baked a chocolate cake especially and we were the only people to go, the kids took one sweet from each house and came home and went straight to bed without eating any, the onus is not on the sweets, and dd1 has to chuck or give away all her sweets anyway.

I agree, I don't think it is comparable to begging unless the kids are teenagers, not dressed up, etc. which upsets me.
Little kids are not beggars.

exactly FA, what I was trying to say in two lines.

Look, you just can't go to people's houses asking for food and then complain at what you get given! I'm allergic to kiwi fruit, but if someone gives me a fruit salad with it in, I will just (rather sadly!) leave it, not moan and be outraged. It's not their responsibility to check the suitability of the food they give you for your daughter, it's yours. I know it must have been a real fright, but it is just unfortunate.

I think its only the UK that thinks its begging, since its only in recent years that its started to get really big. I doubt if the Americans see it that way, as its just part of one of the yearly rituals. Its as much about the person behind the door as the ones going to the door, iyswim!

I made a huge thing of it this year. I arranged with loads of kids to come round and I even dressed up! The kids loved it and I find it a pleasure to entertain and excite the kids. I'm planning on getting even bigger next year!

Yep - dont like the term 'begging' being applied to little kids trick or treating.
Tis mean.

beggars can't be choosers is an expression, it's completely appropriate in this situation. you're asking for a treat in return for a trick or turn, so you're the beggar.

tbh, i think it must have given the OP a terrible fright but it's not reasonable to ban peanuts entering Canada. however, i cna't imagine how awful it must be to live with the knowledge that something so silly and enjoyable as halloween could seriously harm your child. what a terrible responsibility for you to be vigilant at all times.

Your responsibility to check what is given - to get angry with someone who had gone to the trouble of preparing nice treats for all the visiting children isnt really good grace on your part.

I wasnt referring to that comment aitchtwoh, was referring to

"I don't actually agree with trick or treating, and this is one of the reasons why. I feel like it is a form of begging"

feeling a bit less halloweeny, now I am hoovering up halloween sprinklies thirty seconds after putting hoover away,

Thanks for all your replies.

Of course I check what is given, and give away everything that has 'may contain traces of peanuts... " on the label.

As I said in the OP I am not expecting people to take that responsibility for me.

I was shocked at the lack of awareness, it's not that my dd would ever have eaten the nuts (I was never going to let her eat anything before checking). It's the chances of contamination that I was worried about.

As for the 'begging' argument, these people had prepared goodie bags - they wanted to give treats to children - they were taking part in a community celebration.

I suppose I am just saying that when taking part in a children's activity, people should take into account a potentially fatal danger to children.