Lunchtime supervision of 6 year old with food allergies (long!!!)

[alison222]

Twice in the last 2 weeks my 6 year old has come back home with remains of food I have not given him in his lunchbox. He has a number of food allergies and this is worrying me no end.
He says - in his opinion reasonably- that it was OK because it is food I may give him at home.
I have spoken to him at length regarding whether he had checked labels for changes in ingredients and how he could be sure that the others hadn't had sandwich contents he is allergic to and could have contaminated their food.

Whilst he is aware he shouldn't take others food he is also going through a phase of not wanting to be different to everyone else and this is causing problems.

I have written to the school and spoken to the head this morning. They are going to have him eat lunch by himself this week to try to reinforce it to him and to talk to the school class by class of the importance of not sharing food.
I am going back to talk to the head at the end of the week. This is obviously not a long term solution. I want to know what I could EXPECT the school reasonably to do regarding lunchtime supervison.

Any experience/ideas anyone?

I will also post under am I being unreasonable

Like lots of children he would live off crisps and biscuits given the chance.
He does get both and other healthy food too.
He had cheese today for instance, but the point is not what he wants when I make the lunch , but that he feels it is OK to share and how to solve that problem

My DS is not allergic (although his best friend is highly so) but I have to do a lunch box every day, which has to be done to fairly high anti-allergy standards. It is the bane of my life!

What we do is that DS and I agree a list of things that he likes and that is written up on a piece of paper on our kitchen board. The deal is that if something from that goes into his lunch box he has to eat it. If he decides he deoesn't like something - quiche is currently unpopular - then it comes off the list but something else has to go on. So if his mate is eating pasta salad, DS thinks he likes the look of that and it goes on our list. I've noticed that peer pressure has meant that some new things have come on that he would like to try - sushi, for example

Could you try something similar? A list of all the things he can eat, plus he tells you what other people eat and you have a think as to whether they would work for you. He then gets input into his lunch.

A huge advantage for us of the list is that it avoids shouting matches over why things aren't being eaten or changes of mind once you've made something. (Sort of - I've got a lot of mini-quiches in the freezer!)

Doesn't help with the supervision thing, but may make your child's interest in his own lunch a bit better.

I think you need to sit down and have another talk with your ds to express the importance of not sharing food, etc. Then ask if the head or a member of staff can do the same for the pupils. I have just written a notice for the weekly school newsletter to make parents and pupils aware of the allergic children in my ds's school. I have explained the seriousness of allergies(as some people are ignarant of it), risk's, explaining the importance of not sharing, precautions to take, symptoms of a reaction & what to do in the event of this happening etc. We are hoping that parents will then take it upon themselves to talk to their kids. Maybe you could perhaps ask if it is possible to do something like this. If you would like to have a look at the notice i have drawn up, then you can email me on [email protected] or even if you just would like a chat. We are also hoping (as you mentioned) organising a talk, either throuhg the Anaphylaxis Campaign, or either the Head teacher or myself will talk to the pupils to emphasis this. I think it is important for your school to do this.

Sorry I also forgot to say that I have had many problems with lunch time seating etc and possible cross contamination, food sharing etc. My Ds( nearly 8) went through a phase of food sharing but thankfully it passed fairly quickly but was a very stressful time as his school was not very supportive. I talked with him as other's have advised you to do with your ds. But my school was also quick to exclude him by sitting him by himself & wanted this as a long term solution. As "Kerrymum" said, it is the easy way out for the school. Don't let them get away with it! He should not be made to feel different to others & it is the schools responsibility to your child to sort this out & emphasis to the pupils/parents etc to educate their kids , as it is yours to educate your ds of the risks involved. A dinner lady could be appointed to monitor your childs table, make sure no food swapping is happening & encouraging them not to do this, if they do. We have a dinner lady that monitors my Ds table. He does not have his own 1-1 dinner lady (he has a LSA in class) but not to supervise at lunch. Unfortunatley they haven't the funds to appoint a 1-1 lunchtime supervisor strictly for him, but may be you could suggest a dinner lady monitoring your DS table, or maybe they could make a table for the pupils with food allergies & any child who has safe food could sit on their also, & then they are not seated by themselves, they are safe & also then not made to feel isolated from others. The dinner ladies also need to be told to keep washing down tables (especially the other tables where pupils are eating nuts etc, to reduce cross contamination) & the children need to be told the importance of washing their hands after eating their lunch to reduce the risk of cross contamination. Good luck Alison & i do hope you get things sorted soon. Remember you can email me if you want. Julia

I agree with you alison - I think he needs to take some responsibility as at 6, he's old enough to understand that he musn't take food from others and I also agree that it's very dangerous that he has now tried other food and has seen that he's ok!

I think separating him is a good idea - hopefully, he'll get the message that he must not take food from others (coupled with the school getting that message across, to the whole school, not only his class).

Once he is reintroduced to the dining room, I'd ask the head if they can watch him like a hawk. The anaphylactic allergy kids are well known at school and the lunch monitors should be made aware of who they are so they can keep a closer eye on them.

There was a good episode of 'Arthur' on this morning about one of them who has a nut allergy (also dealt with school lunch and epi pens) Not sure if it will be repeated tonight or buy the dvd. Would be really good for a 6 yr old.

My ds (10) had seen it before but I heard him say "oh i like this episode". Probaby makes him feel that he is not that different!