Do you suppose we can actually DO anything about this idea that only nut allergies are really serious?

[BlameItOnTheBogey]

Inspired by comments on another thread. But serious question: what can we do to educate people that there is a not a pecking order in terms of which allergies are 'worse'? And that an anaphylactic reaction to e.g. dairy is just as serious as an anaphylactic reaction to nuts?

I am so sick of people saying 'oh well, it could be worse, she could be allergic to nuts' when I tell them that DD has a serious and life-threatening contact reaction to milk. I am also sick of others saying 'oh yes, my sister's cousin's dog is also lactose intolerant'.

I know it's not their fault. But it is frightening. Because unless we can make sure that people understand that all anaphylactic reactions are equally serious, then I worry about how I can ever feel confident letting dd out in someone else's care.

What do you think? Is there anyway we could do anything about this?

I did actually make sure the foods the mother wanted excluded were kept out of his diet at nursery, even when it involved making a balanced diet excluding wheat, milk, eggs, soya, pork, strawberries (but jam was fine), kiwi, nuts, among others. The kid was 3 and used to say his mum let him have all these things at home.

Good for you - I'm glad you took her seriously.

(doesn't sound like she deserves to be taken seriously, but you still did the right thing )

i'm in and i don't even have an allergic child.
my dd had a birthday party recently and we had a child there who had a dairy allergy. i went out of my way to cater for him, made sure that there was plenty of food he could eat and even made him a small dairy free cupcake so he could have birthday cake like the other children.
yes it took a bit more thought but it really opened my eyes about what his mum goes through every day just to feed him.

Bless you, heather - I bet she was really grateful.

My DS ate the same birthday cake as his friends the other day (I made it!) and he was so happy. It was a real treat for him, because he usually has something different out of his 'special bag'.

Oh heather that is so lovely of you! It's really nice to see somebody trying to understand the challenges we face, and to see somebody go out of their way to make a child with allergies feel just as involved as every other child. Thanks so much!

Just wanted to say that while my DC dont have allergies I do know children who do (and adults) and I always make sure that whatever we have there is an alternative for them. Although most parents bring their own food just incase.

This is a serious problem and we really need to increase awareness. I have an aunt who is allergic to eggs - just eggs, a friend whos son has nut allergy and another friend who is coeliac. I am getting quite good at making food that everyone can eat.

baby I once had a mother who didnt tell me that her whole family was vegetarian at a birthday party! luckily I had veggie things in already, but her DS ate cocktail sausages because he chose to and I didnt know until after the event!

I was cross with her for not telling me, Im not telepathic! But anyone who has an allergy lets me know in plenty of time. Thankfully.

Awareness is key - if 'we' know then we can cater for the allergy.

I think some of the chidlren whose parents claim allergies wrongly have intolernqaces and the aprents either don't understand the difference (they;ve noted a reaction but nobody explained that there are two types of condition) which I can understand or are doing what we have done once or twice and say allergy because we know the person adminstering food doesn;t 'beleive in intolernaces' and will ignore dietary requests otherwise: my sister runs a chain of nurseries and is like that (mind she also refuses toa ccept autism even though mine are in SN systems for school- hmm), and we had a nursery where 'just' having an intolerance was ignored to teh stage where we had to get a statement of SN amended (invovles full LEA panel) just to get them to allow him soya milk. Milk no-no for obvious reasons, water for autism reasons (he would spit it at people as he hates it).

Luvkily the school ds1 attends is happy to accept ds1's allergies but even then he is relied on to make sensible choices and wrt the intolerance his weight is plummeting again (he ahs ahd treatment for an ED and he knows he can manage his weight by eating dairy as he does not digest that)- he was 3.5 stone aged 10, needs a proper weighing again soon, not looking good.

Baby absolutely @ party treat!

I will ahve milk (I too have casein intolerance at Christmas, if I want to have to deal with a migraine and tummy upset becuase I ahd brandy butter so be it: I am an adult, I make my choices.

OTOH it's apple free mincemeat, cherry free cake and home made everything for ds1 regardless.

Just for laughs. I dropped DS (7) off at church holiday club this morning. The pastor is epi-pen trained as is the first aider so this is the first time he has had this freedom in 18 months.

The pastor said 'so it's just ketchup then DS is allergic too?' ME: 'yes that we know of but the severe reaction he had was to an unidentified allergen'.

I simply got the face. I did explain it was a one off, the epi-pens are a precaution in case of another severe reaction, explained he has hayfever too but that he's been OK in general, no precautions to take/ that can be taken.

Not I sure I helped when I said it's a case of treating the symptoms if he ever has a reaction like that again.

But as many here know because of DS allergy situation I often get disbelievers, or people who think it can't be 'that' bad. No - not at all. I never worry about the fact DS could 'just' have anaphylatic shock and there's nothing I can at least try to do to avoid it.

That's why I get so defensive on behalf of those who do have to avoid allergens constantly, I would love to be able to minimise DS risk, but none of this is for fun, or my favourite 'attention!' it's to keep our children alive.

Ouch at unidentified allergen.

I have ahd a severe reaction ONCE in y life- to a KFC meal. try explaining to those people that you need the ingredients! Luckily avoiding KFC (not a PITA) seems to have been enough.

funnily enough Peachy my DS first ever case of hives was after KFC! Would seem like the ketchup though because he reacts to that. (was his first ketchup at KFC). I now avoid KFC.

I have my DCs birthday parties at home so I can make all the party food dairy free because of DSs allergy, so at least for family parties he can feel included. I am a dab hand at raiding party bags for chocolate and cake, and swapping for dairy free versions, although bringing in a cupcake and some haribo usually works with understanding parents.
I am quite good at catering for several different dietary requirements at once, although I found my limit when I was asked at work to make pancakes without milk, gluten or eggs. Seriously. That's all the ingredients! I gave the kids rice cakes with sugar and jam.

I find it odd that anyone would challenge any request for consideration about a child's health issue. It's simply rude and stunningly insensitive.

It's not just allergies there are a few threads showing astonishing ignorance about autism and other unseen health issues.

My dear Mum had it time and time again when suffering with ME. the few times she had enough energy to leave the house we would always come up against people who thought she was making it up. B**tards! If they had seen just how long it had taken for her to get ready (days sometimes with lots of rest in between) to get dressed and out of the door.

Lol Greenbananas at your skin thickening up. I once asked a parent if she would take the milk sachets off her baby in the soft play and she said that it must be too hard to take dd out - why didn't I just stay at home with her?
Unbelievably that is the second time I've had that line. Grr Grr and Grr again.

I am in. Fortunatly my DS's do not have any of my allergies but DD does. Atm she does not need an Epi-Pen yet.

Is this a food allergies only campaign? I have a latex allergy which is (fortunately) mild, but there are so many shops/restaurants that use balloons for promotions. I've had to move tube carriages/train carriages before because there's been a small child with their free balloon and then it's too late. When I was small party bags had to be thrown out if they had a balloon in because people never remembered.

It annoys me most when places like Boots, who should be aware of medical problems, are so useless about it.

Having said that, I understand that food allergies are generally more problematic, especially with small DC who don't really understand what they can/can't eat.

There was a girl in my primary school who was "allergic" to nuts. A teacher passed round a packet of quality street and she ate the purple one and just spat the nut out and said "oh I didn't swallow it so it's fine. If I'd swallowed it I would have taken a piriton and then been fine" . The girl in the year below was genuinely allergic to nuts and had a badge and her photo up everywhere. I used to get so cross at the older one trivialising the younger's allergy.

PastGrace, I have a latex allergy too along with the food ones. Mine is anaphylaxis though.

I'm in too. DS's (16mo) reactions to five foods including wheat and milk are immediate and scarey, but thankfully he hasn't had an anaphylactic shock (yet?) -- we carry an epipen because he has symptoms of asthma too.

What enrages me is the inability of even sympathetic people to grasp how tiring and all-consuming it is to just feed your multiply-allergic DC! The other day I went to a friend's house for lunch where there was another mum of a 2-year-old who was anaphylactically allergic to nuts. I completely sympathise with her situation, but I couldn't help feeling a tiny bit resentful when she said it was a nightmare trying to feed her DD. At lunch she was able to offer her DD everything everyone else was eating, and my DS couldn't have ANY of it (he had some baked beans and potatoes I brought with me). I felt like having a little tantrum.

whelk I've been asked that a few times too "why don't I just keep dd at home if her allergies are so serious?" Maybe because I don't want to make her home into a prison and maybe I want my dd to have a 'normal' life?!! It really is shocking what some people think and say.

It is lovely to see people who go out of their way to make children with allergies or intolerances feel included.

I think it is also very hard for people suffering food intolerances, because if you have a true food intolerance you do need to be incredibly careful with food too. And even more people throw the term intolerant around trivialising it to being something fashionable and inconvenient rather than making you feel awful and causing lots of medical problems.

Anyway it's good to see lots of support on here, as always :)

BB - I love the idea of a party test! There's nothing like a true challenge, and it doesn't get more stressful than the party test IME!

Ah yes! BB the party test.
I did DS birthday party at home this year with one CMPI child (also lactose/casien), 1 nut allergic child and DS (ketchup).

My friends DD (6) who is apparently allergic to pine nuts had a mini tantrum because I wouldn't let her have pesto on her pasta. Also complained I had no ketchup. (usually they eat it when DS around but slightly different with 10 hyper manic children in a room!)
She was not the nut allergic child - this child has true allergy hence why I wasn't risking it. Luckily the CMPI child can be in the room with CMP but not digest it.

DS, bless him, even had his second choice b'day cake because first was made in a factory that handles nuts. I made CMP free cupcakes and gave some to CMPI lad to take home.

Next year I'm doing the cimema with Haribo.

Whelk is right: this seems to be something (the lack of tolerance) people do to anyone with an invisible health issue: with the ASD, we;'ve ahd aprents threatening us at the door, screaming at us in school, starting petitions to get rid of ds1..... ds3 is very friendlya nd kindly but was non verbal and in nappies in year 1 ms, a group of parents decided he did not 'deserve' his TA he had for 16 hours a week and used to actively get between him and T, shouitng as they pushed thier chidlren forwards 'you take X's hand!" you desere the TA as much as he does'- the change of routine would upset ds so much we'd have to return home and start the process 2 hours later.

I am so glad they are in Sn bases now!

I wish I knew why people were like this; I suspect the acceptance of ds1's allergies is because he moves in an Sn world anyway, and in dome autistic kids intolerances seem to be severe enough to be the decided between functioning and not and many kids are treated with casein and gluten free diets as a result.

I have started using the term 'anaphylaxis' rather than an allergy e.g. 'my son/husband suffers severe anaphylaxis if they come into contact with nuts' as it removes it from the allergy/intolerance confusion. You do get the odd but it's marginally better than the rolling eyes....

So sad/funny to hear everyone else has the same probs as me at birthday parties!! I have friends at both ends of the spectrum - one is an utter angel and the another a complete mare - Halloween party is the next challenge coming up [hgrin]

I'm learning lots on this thread. I didn't realize that you could have anaphylactic reactions to eggs, dairy, wheat, pulses,fruits and latex. How do you propose that these types of allergies are handled in schools and other public places?