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Original poster

What do I do with free time now sober

51 replies

Losingit25 · 07/02/2026 12:31

Hi All,
I stopped drinking on 1st Jan and going well so far. My husband is still drinking. My problem is I dont quiet know what to do with myself. We went out this morning with 11 yr old daughter and did some activity and had breakfast. Home since midday, husband went back to bed, daughter chatting to friend online and I just don't know what to do. I have put oven to soak (one of them bag cleaners) and feel a bit lonely and stuck. Any suggestions, what do people do on a weekend???

OP posts:
Billybagpuss · 10/02/2026 06:28

Do you have a garden, a bit of redesign might be a plan. Grow some vegetables

Neurodiversitydoctor · 10/02/2026 06:31

Duolingo ? Yes reading, curating photos, yoga, pilates....

WonderingWanda · 10/02/2026 06:35

You need some hobbies.

On my weekends I do gardening, diy or go for long walks. Sometimes shopping but I hate that. Sewing, crafting with dd, baking, visiting family, cooking fancier meals which take lots of prep e.g tapas. You could even plan weekends away with a friend.

You're doing so well. I would not be able to live with someone who drank so much they had to spend the weekend in bed, I would der if you might get a bit sick of your dh eventually.

sashh · 10/02/2026 07:02

If you don't already know how take up knitting and / or crochet.

Do you have a load of cookery books you don't open? Pick book each week and cook a recipe from it.

I know that sounds simple but planning and buying the correct ingredients and making it something your family will eat can take up time. Get lovely notebook to record what you cooked and how it went down, changes you would make.

Your daughter might want to join in.

AfternoonTeaAddict · 11/02/2026 08:18

I understand how drinking takes up time and space.

last time I was sober for an extended bit of time i knitted in the evening. It kept my hands busy.

At the weekends I like taking my DCs for afternoon tea at various places. Smile We rate them and have a huge amount of fun. For my birthday i hope to do a Claridges one.

I also echo others about cooking and board games. I am getting out a jigsaw.

StrawberryJamAndRaspberryPie · 11/02/2026 08:38

I read books, bake, garden, do yoga, cycle, batch cook, embroider, study for a qualification, paint my nails, clean the house, drink fancy tea concoctions, have a long bath, watch YouTube, go to the library, go for a long walk, make jam, draw, paint….

You’re discovering the age old truth - most people who drink too much are actually really boring and have lost themselves. Time to discover new hobbies and ways to pass time.

Teaforthetotal · 15/02/2026 21:03

I enjoy painting my nails and general nail care while catching up on shows:)

IjustbelieveinMe · 20/02/2026 22:51

I listen to podcasts while cleaning or reorganising stuff, I can waste a few hours pottering about at home listening to stuff, plus side I have a nice relaxed organised home as a result!

someoneseatenmyapple · 21/02/2026 03:28

How about doing some craft with your daughter. Do you have a Hobbycraft store nearby you could go to together and see if anything takes your fancy? Or check out Waterstones for craft books. Don’t necessarily have to buy them just see what’s available. Like others have said gardening has endless possibilities and is completely addictive. Sewing, reading, days out with DD.

waterbobble · 21/02/2026 04:39

Would you not do something with your dd or a friend?

Picpac876 · 21/02/2026 04:56

Walking can be great. Even if it's just to a slightly further away shop. Or something you might normally do by car. Nice boost from achieving it and the exercise. I tend to like doing a loop of 2 miles or so. That way you can't easily quit part way through.

lottiegarbanzo · 21/02/2026 07:24

I’ve sometimes wondered how people have time for hangovers as adults, especially with dc. Do they not clean their house? Not take their dc to activities? Not go out as a family? Do no gardening or baking?

What do the dc do on weekend mornings while the parents are sleeping? Do they get on with their homework, read, do active things by themselves? Or are they lounging around waiting for their day to start? Nothing wrong with a bit of boredom and relaxation but what pattern are they being trained into?

You can go out for the whole day as a family on Sunday if you get all your domestic jobs done on Saturday.

Park Run is a great start to Saturday morning.

LlynTegid · 21/02/2026 07:35

Those who advocate regular saunas have used the phrase 'saunas are the new pub'. Depends on how long your DH is able to be with your daughter whilst you go to have a sauna, and if one is near you, of course.

Agree about park run as well.

AfternoonTeaAddict · 21/02/2026 07:48

I got a jigsaw out this week but made a mistake by choosing a very complicated one! I'm going to get hold of a more simple one as my brain can't settle to it.

I also like doing things I could not do when drinking. Our cinema is not on a bus route and is a drive away.. I love going to the cinema. So I sometimes choose a later night screening and get the DCs fed and settled and leave them with DH while i pootle off to see things no-one else in my family would want to see.

WhatYouWearing · 21/02/2026 07:56

I think there’s an elephant in the room here. It’s your husband. I’m going to assume you were drinking buddies and as he’s still drinking but you are not this is causing you to think you are lonely?

If I had made the big decision to get sober I’m not sure I could cope with a drinker being in the same house. I think you need to have an honest conversation with him and think about seeking outside help.

When I am stressed I like to give my brain two things to do at the same time so I can’t have obtrusive thoughts. So listening to an audiobook while painting or doing Lego etc. Good luck OP, you’ve been very strong to get this far.

Eviebeans · 21/02/2026 08:02

Have you worked out how much money you have saved so far?
did you used to drink with your husband or with friends?
would your daughter like to do something with you today
Well done to you-it’s a big achievement

FeistyFrankie · 21/02/2026 09:26

Welcome to your new personality OP.

What do you WANT to do now? You have the time and the energy. Do whatever you want.

  • pottery
  • jewelry making
  • painting
  • poetry
  • yoga
  • pilates
  • spin classes
  • running/jogging
  • walks in nature
  • book club
  • cooking

I could go on. Take your pick.

gollygoshh · 21/02/2026 09:30

Get into reading or painting op. Or those adult colouring books. It kills time and is really relaxing. Well done on stopping for so long.

Bonkers1966 · 21/02/2026 09:31

Ever consider writing?

mindutopia · 23/02/2026 11:30

What do you love? When I stopped drinking, I started doing a lot more walking. I’d walk 8-15 miles a few times a week. I trained and walked a camino. I also did a lot of wild swimming. I started to re-learn Spanish on Duolingo. I did a lot of reading and listened to podcasts. I got a cinema membership for my daughter and I and we’d go to the cinema.

I’d sometimes go to a Friday evening sound bath (it was eye opening! There are all these people out there who don’t just spend every weekend evening in the pub or at home ploughing through bottles of wine! Like I literally didn’t know 😂)

MintoTime · 09/03/2026 10:44

I haven’t stopped drinking but tbh it is less and less appealing. My DH stopped drinking completely in May, I’ve carried on with a few glasses of wine, most nights.

Anyway, since slowing down I’ve found the same thing. I work full time compressed hours during term time (42 pw) which leaves very little time for hobbies / exercise during the week, and it feels pointless starting something ‘big’ during holidays / weekends. So I am twiddling my thumbs a bit these days.

Colouring / cross stitch / crochet / reading - can’t sit for hours due to back issues.
exercise - classes are so busy at weekends
baking - no one eats it, they are all being healthy

Gardening is currently doing it for me. it’s something that I can do as and when I fancy (it’s just a small strip / couple of flower beds outside our apartment block). It’s pretty cheap, gets me outside. I listening to podcast while digging, clipping and sweeping away.

silverbirchlady · 02/04/2026 11:07

How are you doing? @Losingit25? I stopped 7 weeks ago and cannot lie I find it very hard. After decades of daily drinking my whole life was dominated by it. But for about a year or so I’ve been entering competitions in the evenings and have quite a bit of success including a lovely holiday. Is that something you might do? It’s very fun when you win something and the other competition people are really nice. Hope you can keep it up with the no booze hope I can as well

capybaraforlife · 02/04/2026 11:12

Bravo OP this is a brilliant achievement.

i stopped drinking 8 years ago and it is amazing how much time it frees up.

i work out 6-7 times a week, spend lots of time on the beach and outside.

mainly i read: i am a voracious reader and get through 12 books a month or thereabouts.

i do work full time so that takes up a lot of my weekdays :)

LostThestral · 02/04/2026 11:29

Well done OP

Lego is a satisfying activity

Boustany · 02/04/2026 11:34

Well done, OP- a great achievement, especially to do it while your husband keeps drinking.

I would really go back to the drawing board and really think about things you might enjoy- presumably you were drinking for a while and may now feel a bit out of touch with your pre-booze person but she is still in there somewhere. I suspect that having your husband continue drinking and lying in bed may feel like a tie- like you have to just sit in the house because he's not up to doing anything- but you really don't. You can do anything.