Severe alcohol detox

[alcoholicsupport]

My sister is an alcoholic, drinking 3 bottles of wine a day. Crisis this morning and she is we are flying over to collect her bring home to detox. What to expect? Trying to get GP apt but basically we will be taking it turn to be with her 24/7 during the process. Sever mental health

It’s going well actually. Got her into a GP yesterday and she started medical detox. She’s on Librium. She drank some beer yesterday as didn’t start until afternoon so we just gave her two cans every few hours but last drink was at 4pm yesterday. She is doing well meds have her very calm. Tearful but calm. She hasn’t asked for a drink today. We are taking turns staying with her and trying to get her out for a walk here and there. She is still very upset over being away from kids. My fear is that she will get a couple of days done then think she is strong enough to go back to them.

also another fear is that we suspect husband is a functioning alcoholic and he doesn’t seem willing to give up with her. He’s very weak and we are afraid it will go down the drain once she gets home

Hi alcoholicsupport,
Good to hear your sister is doing better and detoxing :)
I hope it continues to go ok.

It does sound worrying about her husband. He must still be in denial 😔

As your sister's mind gets clearer and she gets some rest over the next days it might be easier for her to think about next steps.

For what it's worth, when I was in rehab a few years ago, there were mothers there away from their kids. Obviously so hard, but the bigger picture was that they needed this separation for a few weeks to be able to be a good mum in the long run. They were doing what they needed to do for their children.

Make sure you and the rest of the family are also taking care of yourselves x

There is ALWAYS a reason someone is with an alcoholic. One of the things we did when I worked in rehab (would be treatment now but it was very long ago) was family dynamics. Sounds like they are codependent and each ‘forgives’ the others’ drinking to drink themselves.

Recovery is not just about not using, it’s about understanding why you use.

I’m glad she has medical supervision. Be very kind to yourselves.

Well the evening took a dramatic turn.. we had a great day and it was like she was back to how she was a few years ago.

anyway like the flick of a switch she decided she wanted two cans tonight. Went absolutley insane at us all. Started trying to pack saying she is in prison. Refused point blank to take her Librium. Stormed out then came back then stormed out again and came back with two cans. Probably necked another on the way around from shop.

then was like a different person, calm as anything, took her meds….dont know where to go from jere

Has she had any advice about taking benzodiazepines with alcohol? Because it’s dangerous.

Librium is good for the symptoms of withdrawal, but if she’s no longer planning to detox, she shouldn’t be taking them. Mixing has significant risk.

Where you go from here is up to you. Practically, if she’s planning to drink, I’d ask her to leave immediately. But I know how hard that is. I’d also inform the prescriber that she’s drinking. I hope she doesn’t have many benzos. They shouldn’t be giving large numbers.

One thing I think is important. Sometimes the best of intentions only rob the person of their rock bottom. That’s a controversial opinion and I only mention it because it is relevant to what you do next. If you give her a safe, warm, kind place to use, that may be worse than nothing at all.

Today going much better, doc increased the Librium and ds is engaging a bit more.

Glad to hear it. Is the GP aware she drank?

I'm really sorry, @alcoholicsupport , but I don't think this is going to work.

Detox from high levels of alcohol is difficult and dangerous. Many GPs won't assist, because it's a specialised area and such people really need specialist input and expertise and may well need to be in a care facility of some sort.

I understand you're desperate to help your sister. But you know, I'm sure, that what you can do is very limited. And giving up alcohol is not just about not drinking in the here and now - there's all the rest of life to get through and if that life is built around alcohol, that means a complete change of just about everything. A quick patch-up with benzos isn't going to do anything in the long term when she goes back home to the same place, with the same partner (still drinking), the same stresses and the almost certainly the same reaction to those stresses - ie reach for the bottle.

I'm sorry to be so pessimistic but I've seen this many times and it never ends well.

I know…totally accept that. But we are desperate and she won’t go in anywhere. We are hoping that if we could get her to physically detox we could get her to agree to go in somewhere for further treatment. She is on to an AA course at the minute. I know that’s not enough. But we are desperate for the kids. We were so close to reporting the other day and just want to give it one more chance. But I understand nothing will stop her drinking if she goes back to a household with alcohol there.

@MrsTerryPratchett I’m not sure if that was mentioned actually. She has had nothing today so far. Her dose has been increased so would be really dangerous to drink on it.

But truthful I think she is only here because we mentioned reporting.

I do understand your desperation.

But for your sister to overcome her alcoholism, she needs to be desperate to seek help and to stop drinking for good.

The approach the doctor is taking is very concerning. It's too much too soon. She's not even begun a drink down plan first. That nd the fact he's already increased the Librium is worrying.

It sounds like she doesn’t want to stop drinking.

By reporting to you mean to SS? You should still be reporting your concerns about the children.

Just firmly manage your expectations. And do report if she does go back. And any further relapses, you have to advise the GP and admit defeat.

A lot of people with relatives who are addicted are desperate to believe there’s something they can do. And they pour their heart, soul and money into that. The reality is that you can support the person only when they are willing and ready. Everything you’ve said tells me she’s not.

I am very sorry about that because I know how awful it is.

When you talk about reporting; do you mean to social services about the children? Given that you’ve said her husband/partner drinks and you don’t know if they’re safe, surely that should be your first concern?

She needs thiamine too

of she fails at this please don’t take it personally - it’s really difficult not to. I used to feel like my mum thought we weren’t enough so chose the alcohol instead

She’s on thiamine too

I know it’s so hard not to take personally but I know it’s her illness.

I do hope it continues to go ok.
As previous posters have said, it will be entirely up to whether your sister is ready to stop, down to her bones, knowing and understanding that she is an alcoholic and now won't be able to drink ever again. Until she understands this, she is still in denial 😔

Further to the excellent points Mrsterrypratchett has made about enabling.

Enabling isn't just buying drinks, or giving money, or giving them somewhere to drink. It's shielding someone from the consequences of their drinking.

By all accounts those poor children are at risk, living with two alcoholics, and their welfare is paramount. In any other circumstance, with someone other than your sister, I imagine you would already have raised a concern.

By not reporting, she avoids facing the consequences of her drinking.

Reporting to social services isn't a threat or a bargaining tool, it's a consequence. And it might help her in the long run.

It is also necessary for the welfare of the children.

I hope that makes sense, I don't feel I've explained very well.

How is your sister doing now?