How to give access to alcoholic mother

[Grannyjo1]

For the past 2 years my son and his 3 daughters have been living with us.. 11,8 and 2 yrs.. their mother is an alcoholic. For the 1st 12 months , mum would come and stay with us regularly to see children, and we would offer her support, the last 12 Months we have tried to offer her support whilst allowing the girls to go to see her.. but it almost every time would end up very toxic as my son would always realise she was drinking and have to go and pick the girls up..her own family won't support her,as in making sure the girls are safe guarded, but I don't feel it's right my son should have to police his ex, as it makes him really bitter when she lets them down..2 months ago he decided to stop taking them down to see her .. I feel incredibly sad that the girls aren't seeing their mum, and worry what effect this will have on them,..we don't hear from her , I think she is just waiting for him to take them down to see her, as she knows he will probably feel sorry for them and change his mind .. the youngest doesn't miss her because she never spent enough time with her as a baby. The oldest child misses her terribly.. what would be the best steps for my son to take next ?

I think your son needs to only agree to contact in a contact centre, where she can be overseen to a degree as to whether she is drinking. It isn’t your son’s job to police her drinking. There needs to be third party oversight. I think you also need to take a step back and allow him to parent his children. They are not missing out by not seeing her when she is drunk. It will be doing them no good to see her in that state. Having to sort out supervised contact and the push to be sober enough to do it may be just what she needs to start getting her life together.

If she's drunk, she can't have unsupervised contact with the children.