Quitting has made no difference

[Barkingdogbarks]

In a typical week I think I drink:
1 litre of spirits (gin, whiskey or vodka)
a couple of bottles of cider a night
wine at the weekend
A couple of cocktails in a can
sometimes a couple of pints if in the pub

And have done for a few years - some time off for childbirth/ breastfeeding, but generally I’ve been a drinker for a while.

I never drink before 5pm, I don’t crave it when I get up in the morning. I generally don’t get hangovers that a couple of paracetamol can’t fix.

But, I’ve quit. Wound down over the past week and am now 48 hrs alcohol free. I thought there would be great feeling of wellness? Better sleep? Glowing skin?

The only difference between last week and this one is that I’m now bored in the evening? I can’t be bothered doing the ironing and cleaning in the evening now, it was the alcohol that made that fun. I know there are health benefits, but as it wasn’t making me unhealthy I’m just not feeling it.

Doesn’t seem worth the effort at this point.

Anyone got any words of wisdom?

Why an earth would you encourage an alcoholic to start drinking again? Good grief.

I would listen to an audio book (eg. Annie grace, this naked mind) to help

Funny that you think my post is encouraging her to start drinking again. I'm pointing out that it is her choice. Which it is.

You were probably doing at least 100 units a week. Maybe more, depending on the size and strength of the bottles of cider and the wine. By any measure that's a lot of alcohol. It'll take your body a while to recover from that.

Great post. Congratulations on your 3 years 👏

Thank you

give it two weeks.

You're detoxing, after drinking heavily for a long time. It's not pleasant to start with, and you have to stick with it for the (many, amazing) benefits.

Living sober is easy, but getting there is hard. That's why people don't stick with it, or relapse. If you want it to work, treat it as a whole new project. You can't expect it to happen magically - you need to work for it. Plan your evenings, keep your hands busy, replace your drinks with whatever AF drinks you like, eat snacks, take on deep cleaning or DIY around the house to distract yourself.

TAKE B VITAMINS - you will be deficient.

Plan what to do when cravings strike - they last a maximum of 7 minutes so you can handle them if you have a strategy - "if in doubt, clean the bathroom" was a useful motto for me!

And get some support. There's a great long running thread on here- I was on it for years. Or you can join a smart meeting online (no need to even turn on your camera, it can be totally anonymous) or there will be face to face meetings near you.

It's daunting at the start and lots of people find excuses to give up, but it is totally doable. If I can, so can you.

Good luck x

Are you sure you aren’t saying /hoping no change so you can justify drinking again? Well that’s obviously what you are doing, even if subconsciously.

As others have said you need to give it more time.

I'm from a family of drinkers. It killed my sister when she was 35. My mum is 71 and had Korsakoffs and is like a 90 year old.

What I have seen in my family is that you can sustain heavy drinking for so long (like the level you were drinking) until one day the wheels have fallen off and you're a full blow alcoholic with the shakes and the awful 'alcohol coming out of your pores' smell. Family will also be able to tell just by your eyes and voice whether you've had a drink.

Well done for quitting

It may well be still in your system and it will take a few weeks to see the benefits

I was a big drinker like you, only on an evening, i think they call it a functioning alcoholic. I have slowly reduced my drinking, cut out spirits and cider altogether.

I only drink wine now and its the 9% stuff, I only drink on a Friday and Saturday. I drink a lot of water with cordial now and I have noticed the difference in my skin, hair, energy, health and overall outlook on life.

Stick with it

I do Dry May every year (dry January seems ridiculous, if you're going to quit for a month why do it in the most miserable month of the year!).

I don't drink as much as you, but it still takes a good two weeks to actually start feeling the benefits. My sleep schedule gets worse initially then starts to improve, my skin clears up and my digestion improves. Like you, I initially feel bored in the evenings, but then the boredom starts giving me the impetus to actually go and do something other than sit in the pub or in front of the TV with a beer.

Give it some time, I promise you you will start to feel the benefits.

Well this is sober / scary / enlightening reading.

Thank you all, especially those of you who have shared your stories. I really appreciate the time you have taken to reply.

I guess that’s why I posted, because I’m struggling to see the woods from the trees. And clearly, going by your sharing, I need to take my head out of my ass.

Yes, I’m scared that one day I will wake up properly addicted and can’t stop.
Yes, I’m scared that the wheels will fall off and I get ill.

Yes, I probably have ADHD, or am neuro-spicy in some direction?
I was looking for quick wins (skin, sleep etc), as I generally need an immediate positive feedback loop to continue something. It’s a personality failing on my part. I’m not proud of it, but ancient age of 44 I’m unlikely to change.

So I stopped this time last week, bar the odd can of g&t, so you could say I’m on day 7 now.

To answer a question - I’ve stopped because I’m generally quite athletic. I gym, cardio and heavy weights, and I’ve plateaued. I need to reduce my body fat % and am stuggling. It’s all very superficial I’m afraid.

OP, what would give you a quick fix now? Would an improvement in your weight lifting or cardio fitness be a quick goal?
As others have said, you are now in withdrawal and your brain is trying to get you to resume drinking. We used to call this internal dialogue ‘the devil’ when I was a Catholic! Try to join the alcohol free thread here for support.
Please stick with it - it will be worth it.

It takes weeks and months as your liver needs to detox .

Hi OP, you have done really well for 48 hours as that is the hardest ime. I have done months off here and there but this time I'm on 2 weeks and my mindset has shifted. Your sleep will get so much better and skin in time. I've started reading again in the boredom, art work, netflix, chocolate, do something for you that doesn't involve alcohol. You are doing your body a great favour for the future!

I'm over three years sober now and there was no set moment where I realised life was better for it in terms of skin/ sleep etc. It was all quite subtle and gradual. But when I look back at photos of me in my drinking days the difference is stark. I look puffy and red and tired, I look so much better now. Sleep improvement for me was more about waking up with no regrets/ fear/ guilt, and going to bed knowing I'd wake up happy in the morning. That was a game-changer for me. Removing the questions around how much and what I would drink etc also gave me loads of peace of mind. I used to do so much mental gymanstics trying to justify my boozing and planning how I could drink without it ruining my next day etc (never stuck to it anyway).

For me it wasn't until not drinking became my new normal that everything slotted into place. Once I'd broken the habit and didn't have to think much about it anymore, my life just improved immeasurably and I now couldn't imagine going back to booze. Every now and then I get a pang of temptation/ envy when that first glass of champagne is poured at an event/ celebration etc, but I've trained myself to play the tape to the end an then I know it would never be worth it.

Good luck, OP. The rewards are enormous, they just take time. Every day is a victory. Maybe download one of the sober apps or tick a day off on a calendar when you go to bed sober each evening. Be proud of yourself.

You sound like someone i am close to. He expects immediate results too, and when he finds that doesn't happen straight away, he goes back to drinking.
Stopping physically consuming alcohol is just one part of quitting. The hardest part is quitting mentally. You have to change your whole way of thinking and being. For that I'd suggest getting support from an addiction charity, your GP will be able to sign post you.
Perhaps try thinking of drinking as making you feel awful about life rather than expecting quitting to make you feel amazing.
Ultimately you will feel better, but it will likely be a long slow process to get there. Good luck

Hi OP, keep going!

You can really start seeing benefits in the longer term, I know that's not when you want to hear.

After being obese, I'm now the lightest, strongest and fittest I've ever been and it doesn't even feel like that much hard work to maintain a healthy weight now. My skin looks great compared to my.drinking days, and most importantly my mind is clearer.

I still get stressed, anxious, tired, angry, overwhelmed. But I can deal with my emotions so much better now.

It's worth it, trust me. Give it 100 days if you can and then go from there.

Sometimes I get little flashbacks to that poisoned feeling the quite mild hangovers gave me. Slightly sore stomach, warm face, middle of the night palpitations and dry mouth, fuzzy head, low level nausea and a craving for junk food, emotionally drained.

Never get that anymore and I shudder at the thought of ever feeling like that again

I didn't use to drink.... Then lost weight/became fit and started drinking... Then I've gone through phases of not drinking (up to three months). I've never found any changes in my overall health. What has been the game changer has been losing weight and staying active.

Doesn't matter what the reason is, the only thing that matters is you have a reason

You have done well so far!

And as an incentive, stick away the price of a bottle each day and watch it mount up, this helped when I stopped smoking too

The saving money idea is a good one, could that incentivise you?

I go through phases of stopping altogether, takes over a week for me to feel good. I’m not drinking this weekend until Wednesday. I sometimes frame it that all the drinks I’ve drank probably are enough for a lifetime.

Good luck, keep it up. Push vitamins

Well done on deciding to stop. To give you an idea of timeframes, it will take 4 -5 days for the physical effects of the alcohol to leave your body, and about 10 days for your cortisol levels to get back to normal. It takes about 100 days for your brain chemistry to start adjusting (over time, alcohol raises your baseline anxiety and lowers your baseline happiness- after about 100 days that will start to reverse).

The good news is that, if you let it, being free of alcohol will massively improve your sleep and your energy levels. Imagine how your fitness could improve if you weren’t dehydrating and inflaming your body through alcohol?

It is not easy - it takes time, patience and determination- but it is so, so worth it (I’m in my mid 50s, been sober for over 2 years, and ran my first marathon earlier this year - no way could I have done that when I was drinking a bottle of wine a day).

Best of luck!

Sober for 5 years here. I'm 45 now. Please keep going! I assure you it's worth it, it will be a while before you feel the benefits health or appearance wise, but the quick wins can be a bigger bank balance and feeling of being one step closer to your goal.
Strongly suggest some quit lit books or audiobooks - the unexpected joy of being sober, sober diaries and many more for inspiration.
You can do this.