Dieting and alcohol

[BigFatSoberLife]

I am a former party girl and dd of a full blown alcoholic who died young 😔

I have recently stopped drinking. Five weeks today 🎉

I stepped on the scales for the first time today and...yikes! I have accidentally gained quite a bit of weight while I was probably a bit too drunk to notice (ha!). Really it is a combination of stressful job (now in a new job), life with young dcs yada yada.

I am so proud of my quitting alcohol. That is my number 1 priority.

However, wondering when will be safe to go on a bit of a diet. If you needed to lose weight as well as quitting booze, when were you able to diet?

Full disclosure - my mum had an ED as well as alcoholism. I also have some disordered eating and sadly associate dieting with alcohol (ie I will go low carb as wine and spirits are low carb, if I drink this many calories, I can't eat as well etc)

Bump

Well done on 5 weeks, that's brilliant.
I wasn't sure what you meant at first as when I abstain or even moderate, I lose weight quite easily ( hangover food the worst for me).

I think if I were you, I'd abandon the idea of a 'diet' and continue looking after yourself and your body with healthy, nutritious food. Lots of water, fruit teas. Up the exercise - I walk a lot, easier on my joints.

Is this what you mean ?

You're doing brilliantly 👏

Thank you ☺

I haven't gained weight since quitting drinking sorry! It's just the first time I've stepped on the scales in about a year 😬.

I may actually lose weight now I've quit.

I won't diet just yet. I have been trying to exercise more (and feel more inclined to now I am not drinking). Also sleeping better so less snacking in the evenings

That's brilliant.
It may well be that you were a lot heavier at the start of your af life, and you have actually lost.
Great to hear of the benefits you're experiencing - keep going !

I can't see why it wouldn't be safe to diet, but honestly I'd be looking at long term, sustainable diet changes rather than a short term/restrictive diet - e.g., plan your meals including lots of veg, fruit, wholegrains, protein etc, plan your snacks and treats.

Thanks - I've had a bit of success with WW in the past, so was thinking of that or maybe Slimming World. They seem quite sensible.

But I might give it a few more weeks of sustainable, healthy changes before signing up! It's not wildly expensive but I still don't want to part with money before I am ready to do it properly and without impacting on my AF journey

Well done on 5 weeks! It's safe to go on a diet now. You might still have sugar cravings though? Make room in the diet for that so it doesn't trip you up. I'm 9 months sober and the weight came off me very slowly but very steadily so you might surprise yourself! Best of luck.

Thanks - I may give it a go then! Needs must really - I'm so chubs 😩

Tbh, I haven't had any significant sugar cravings, or no more than normal. Ice cream and wine in front of the TV was a thing for a while 😳

What about picking up a new activity to complement the new healthier lifestyle? You will very likely lose weight simply by being more active, sleeping better, not drinking.

I lost a stone in the first 3 months without trying (I ate a lot of cheesecake!) simply by cutting out the booze and training for a long distance hike (hiking a couple days a week). I’ve kept it off over a year without changing my diet really.

If you a truly committed to being alcohol free, I’d personally say get over the 100 day hump. That’s when it’s a lot easier. Rather than trying to change too much all at once. But certainly you can’t go wrong eating healthier and being more active just for your mental health as long as you aren’t being restrictive or prioritising weight loss over not drinking.

i have a bit of a dysfunctional tangle around dieting and alcohol, and, speaking from my own perspective, i think i sort of understand what you are saying.

for me, there would be a real danger than i'd inevitably fall off the diet wagon at some point, as happens with diets, and hit the fuck it button in relation to alcohol too.

if that's similar to your fears i would strongly suggest removing the pressure of "a diet" and as the other s have said concentrate on health and wellbeing so that when you do eat a cream cake, or a bag of crisps you aren't filled with a sense of failure so might as well go all in on the failure feeling

and congratulations on your 5 weeks, waking up with a clear head is hard to beat x

Remaining alcohol free is my first priority, so whatever I do, I don't want to drink again.

Ideally, I'd like to lose the wine belly though! I am a bit indoorsy, so have been using my spin bike and doing some dumbbell type workouts.

I did actually feel as I'd lost weight which is why I weighed myself 🤭. Maybe it was worse when I was drinking which is a bit scary. I've gained quite a lot without even realising it since last time I weighed myself.

I have signed up for slimming world which I'm going to do as much as possible, with the odd day off. Hopefully that will keep me on the straight and narrow

Thank you, yes, that's what i mean - I think EDs and addictions come from a similar place and often go hand in hand (non scientific opinion 😂).

I will go easy on myself I think, but being honest with myself it hasn't just been the odd treat, it's been all the time. Especially after drinking in the evenings when I would attack the fridge.

@BigFatSoberLife I thought I would also add that even though the scales may not show a change I bet your body shape has changed. Less bloated and puffy. You may not notice but take a look at photos before you stopped. I’m sure you’ll see a difference.

Things that are working for me…. Loads of water. Eating more fruit, veg, dried nuts and Greek yogurt. Reducing down chocolate, sweets and crisps. Lots of sleep and constantly telling myself how well I’m doing 😆 when I was drinking I would verbally beat myself up all the time about what a shit person I was. Now I tell myself I’m doing my best, I’m doing a great job and I’m starting to believe it! Small, consistent changes are what is making me feel much more positive (regardless of what the scales say).

Sorry as I see you have signed up but Slimming World is basically paid for disordered eating and I would strongly urge you not to engage with them.
I have always been against them but the tide is turning now too :
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001y27g

No, that's absolutely fine @CountFucula. Thank you for the warning - truly!

I do need to go very easy due to history of disordered eating both in me and my family - mum, dad and my siblings all have poor relationships with food and weight problems.

I won't be going to any of the meetings and I've already cancelled the renewal after the bit I've already paid for runs out. I'm planning to follow it fairly loosely, by eating mainly free foods plus a bit of olive oil to cook them in.

I'm really wary of things which might screw my relationship with food, but I'm really heavy. Definitely the heaviest I've ever been. So not really sure what to do 😔

My mum absolutely starved herself and did get very thin. Then drank a lot of alcohol and got quite big, but was at that point where she was very overweight but still malnourished. Think the undereating and alcohol abuse together really damaged her heart.

My worry is all the "you can have a little glass of wine for X syns" chat. And I for half a second think "oh yes, I'll do that" before remembering I cannot drink again

Tricky!

And, looking back actually, my mum did low carb diets but in reality she just drank vodka diet coke all day, as it was low carb!

Well done on the alcohol. My mum died from alcohol related stuff so I too am scared of the damage it does. I stopped about 10 weeks ago.
It's hard going, the alcohol experiment works for me, it's free and logical.
I've lost some weight because I'm exercising much more. I'm eating a lot of carbs too.
I did slimming world last year, lost 1.5 stone but put it back on with extra.
Logic plus exercise is getting me through. But after 40 odd years of drinking I know it's still a battle at times.
Good luck and be kind to yourself

I wouldn’t go on a strict diet, no. I would focus on your sobriety for now. It’s still early stages of not drinking. You don’t want to mess up your head thinking about denying yourself nice things and going back to thinking about alcohol as a “treat”. You will most likely have lost some weight anyway and will continue to do so. Focus on health and nutrition for now, looking after body and mind.

Thanks - maybe I'll just stick with healthy eating and more exercise for a bit.

There's other stuff related to alcohol going on in my family. I have an auntie who is in recovery but was in rehab a few times recently and also one of my sisters almost died from suicide recently. She was drunk when that happened.

So I really, really need to focus on alcohol first. I do need to keep an eye on my weight though too

@BigFatSoberLife that sounds alright as a plan. I'm so sorry about your sister, there's no words to do it justice.
As I mentioned before, the Alcohol Experiment is helpful. Free 30 days with a decent app.
But really just do what gets you through.

Thank you @rumred. She's one of my best friends as well as my dsis. She made a serious attempt on her life and got taken away in an ambulance. I'm obviously gutted. It isn't the first time sadly and she has children too (who were with their dad each time). Every time this has happened, she has been drunk and drinking heavily in the run up. The demon drink indeed! She's great when sober. It's a real shame and I agree there really aren't the right words to describe how awful it is.

Yes, I've read the Naked Mind book but a long time ago, so will give it a reread and look at the app 💐

@BigFatSoberLife alcohol is pushed on us everywhere. I can't believe it still gets advertised on TV. And let's face it, it's never acknowledged the immense damage alcohol causes. Instead it's sold as fun, attractive and essential.
This naked mind unpicks all the lies around alcohol. And helps drop the guilt we feel for drinking too much. It's addictive, of course some of us get addicted.
Hope you are doing OK