Best things about giving up alcohol

[Moonbeams22]

Please can you let me know the best bits about giving up alcohol, sometimes when I read the blogs, listen to the podcasts etc, I think can it really be that great living af? I'm not an every day drinker but certainly at least a bottle of wine 2/3 times a week, always sleep awful after it, not sure why I'm still doing this to myself, mid aged, stressed, anxious, overweight.

Less anxiety
better skin/hair
better sleep
more energy
weight loss
less risk of certain cancers
more money -I cannot believe how much difference not buying 3+ bottles of wine each week makes!
less of an argumentative arsehole

no on ever regrets not drinking do they? I mean, you don’t wake up with a clear head on a Sunday morning and think ‘I wish I’d drunk a bottle of wine last night’ do you?

Being AF has been life changing.

Not stealing happiness from tomorrow

Being able to drive wherever and whenever you want

Waking up with a clear head

Seeing life with clarity and being able to decide what to do with it

@Moonbeams22

To my mind, there are no BAD things about giving up alcohol. Maybe there are bad things to deal with that alcohol numbed, but dealing with without alcohol is more real and lasting.

I'm only 11 days in, but I've been coming to this stage for a long time and I can sense a mind set change.

I'm middle aged, the health risks are massive, and I no longer want to be professional during the day, and slobbing on the sofa at night with Prosecco in my hand and crisps down my front. I was like two different people - the public vs the private.

What's made you post this morning?

Thank you for your replies, I want all of those things. @NextPhaseOfLife another weekend of boozing, drank wine Saturday night, none on Sunday (bank holiday where I am yesterday), but in my wisdom decided to drink again last night, so now I'm going to work, after a poor night's sleep, with an upset tummy, and again I'm asking myself, why?

Ah, it's such a common story, @Moonbeams22

Even for those where it's not an addiction. It's a habit, a social conditioning, a culture, a way of life.

Certainly a waste of opportunity and potential,

I'm writing this to reaffirm to myself, too!

@NextPhaseOfLife you're right, my friends and siblings drink wine, so it's all a bit of a joke, but really it's a bit sad now. I just don't know how to switch off, it's been my go to for the past twenty years.

You're on the right forum, then, @Moonbeams22 - most of us have felt that way.

I've just read The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley - much recommended on here. It's a brilliant read, so relatable. A person who uses wine to work, rest and play, and her true story of finding a new way to live life.

I'm with you @Moonbeams22. I'm trying to cut down. I probably have. But cannot seem to stop. I can't attend a social event and order soda water.

@mellongoose Why can't you order soda water?

@Moonbeams22 - inner peace.

I will say though that my drinking problem is probably one of the most serious on here. I’m way past a bottle of wine a night into lying in a ditch territory.

I didn’t get here over night though - I was once like you are now - just overdoing a lot, feeling shit….but not shit enough to really stop.

Please don’t get to where I am as it’s horrible - if you really feel your off switch is gone, then try 100 days and then see how you feel. If you can’t do 100 days then you probably do have an emotional/psychological addiction to alcohol.

Good luck - it’s not easy staying AF when everyone around you is drinking (especially when you’re not “that bad”) but just try it and see.

Thank you for all your honest replies. @Pippa246 I have given up previously, and always think I can go back to moderation, but the reality is I can't, I had a bottle of wine last night, but if I had another bottle in, I guarantee that would have gone too. I just don't know what my 'thing' is going to be, I put the children to bed, and then I watch tv and get a little bit drunk, I've been doing it for years. I'm going to soothe myself with sugar today and come up with a plan, something I will stick to! Best wishes on your journey x

You do get used to not drinking in the evenings.
I find doing something with my hands that takes some concentration helps - I knit or do cross stitching and if I drink I make too many mistakes which is annoying.

I also realised that even though I wasn't getting banging hangovers every morning, I still had a rubbish night of sleep and spending the next day feeling a bit groggy, unmotivated and meh, eating unhealthy foods and taking too many painkillers to get rid of the slight headache

I still really fancy a drink sometimes, but think about how slightly crappy I'd feel the next day and decide its not worth it.

@Moonbeams22 I hear you! I was the same and if I’m honest, the way I’m wired, everything is just a little bit better if I’m just a teeny bit tipsy (this is the basis of the movie Another Round which is worth a watch) but if course for people like me - it takes more and more to get a “nice buzz”.

I am coming to realise that I don’t need everything to be “just a bit better” - most things are fine just as they are.

I don’t really have any big hobbies so I get what you mean about the filling time thing. Maybe just resign yourself to movie watching and snacking for the first few weeks to break the habit. Better weather is coming (allegedly 😁) with nighter lights - I’m going to start growing my own herbs in big planters/window boxes. I’ve also got into different podcasts and TV shows. And reading again (after years of not being able to pick up a book post PhD study!!).

You will find something if you try a few things out.

good luck

A random bonus I found is being able to go to better restaurants! When you aren't adding 50/60/100 quid on wine / cocktails you can afford to go to more expensive and tastier places!

I like the sound of that @sobermum23 !

Watching this thread. I need to stop- it's making me fat, apathetic and anxious.

I've had to not drink since October (upcoming nhs treatment whose date keeps being pushed back, which has extended the required abstinence). Separate to the nhs thing, I've had high risk hpv, that cancer causing virus, for years, with procedures to remove the bad cells. I just found out my body has cleared it, finally. I mean I don't know to what level the abstinence aided my body in clearing it, but I can't help but think if I'd been drinking my usual it would still be with me.

That and my skin is like, dewey sometimes, and I'm 38. It's nice looking healthy. And weight stuff for me, it's not just the alcohol but the bad eating on alcohol. And I'm more in control of anxiety. More able to put down bad thoughts rather than hours of ruminating.

I can't say it's the cause of any of these problems, but it's definitely an aid to my mind and body to be sleeping well.

Oh, and a few times I've reflected on handing out with my sisters/friends thinking oh I was pretty tipsy and giggly that night only to remember I haven't been drinking. Like, occasional hyperactivity/personality coming through making me suddenly realise I can have equal fun without alcohol. That's pretty cool.

Feel free to join us on the snowdrops and tulips thread @Moonbeams22 and anyone else, we're all in this together x

So many good things! Happier, more patience with my young children, feel good about myself - every day when it got to 4pm and I was opening the wine I felt like such a failure. Usually as I'd woken up that morning saying i'm not going to drink today. Giving up is absolute freedom from that cycle, and also the attempts to moderate.

The Sober School has some really good free resources, as does Dryy and the app 'I am sober'.

The quality of AF drinks is much better now too, some of my favourites:

Tanquary 0% orange gin & tonic
No8 living kombucha
Fizzerro (m&s)
Noughty

You CAN do this 😘

Thank you for all the lovely responses, it's so nice to know I'm not alone, or on my own. @sisterdaughter I'm glad you are better, both your replies are very encouraging. @Steppered yes, I'll bookmark it now, thank you. @pickledsausage thank you, I will have a look x

Im so much better off
Im.slimmer
I remember everything
Im not embarrassing

First of all, to the pp who doesn’t want to order a soda water - of course you don’t! Order something that actually tastes of something!

Be kind to yourself. Go to an alcohol free website and order a non alcoholic version of your favourite drink. You don’t have to be perfect - just don’t drink. You might find you want to eat more sugar to begin with. That’s ok. But always ALWAYS celebrate every evening where you had kombucha/non-alc beer/tea/chocolate/Trip until it becomes second nature to not drink booze. You’re doing it as a kindness to yourself and a mark of self-love. Wake up with a clear head and notice it. Rejoice in it. Wonder why you didn’t do it years ago. Sorry for sounding evangelical - it’s been years for me (I was a right pisshead) and I’ve never doubted it. Good luck.

I've taken a likening to alcohol free lager, with lime cordial.

Never drank beer before but i think it has a real kick!

Went out to the pub with family at the weekend - had two of those over the evening then drove home - win!

Another win was not raiding the cupboards for crisps and carbs, which I would have done, had I had a bottle of Prosecco.

ANOTHER win was that I didn't text anyone to say 'we must meet up soon' as I often do when drink and feeling social (and regretting it the next morning).

Oh I forgot the amazing sleep!!! It can take a couple of weeks but then you go to bed and fall asleep. All night. Maybe up for a wee but I’ll take that over several wees, heart pounding, dry mouth, unsettled nights.