Home Detox - what should I expect?

[CheersAndWhine]

I'll be supporting my friend. They need someone to be with them while they go through this. Any idea what I can expect? I'm trying to mentally prepare for it.

Hiya. Am I right in thinking your friend has been given a few days worth of meds to get them through the first few days of not drinking when they have a worrying habit? I've been around that a little. I'd say - they will be feeling rough and mentally anxious. Can't sit, can't settle, feel bad, feel shaky. I would listen to them rant, follow them about really kindly, be gentle and encouraging, get them tea, try to distract them for a little bit but then start again when they can't settle and get up. Don't expect too much eating and follow the guidelines on the meds on input. Don't expect them to sleep much I don't think, but try to get them to rest. I've sat outside quite a few medical detoxes and held anxious wringing hands. Poor person. I hope they come out of it in a better place and it is the start of something new.

Im trying to remember mine, was a long time ago

Anxiety was through the roof, I drank copious amounts of coffee - seriously never had an empty cup because I had a thirst that only alcohol was ever going to quench and of course that was the one thing I couldnt drink. I would be fine during the day , but come 5pm - my usual time of hitting the pub, thats when I got very antsy and agitated. Sleep went from bad to worse, I think I went two nights without any sleep at all, most nights just dozing on and off , the bad sleeping carried on for a couple of years tbh. I was a home detox having to go to the clinic every second day for the Librium , they dont give too much of it and they adjust accordingly

Mostly though it was easy, the Librium really helps. The hard part is after, staying stopped. Thats when the support is most needed. I was lucky and got a rehab placement 2 weeks after my detox - had to be dry for 2 weeks before they accepted you. Hope your friend has something in place for after the detox

Yes its an alcohol detox. They will collect the meds each morning.

I'm thinking there will be boredom and anxiety and feeling messed up by the drugs that are preventing the withdrawal from causing a seizure, plus the withdrawal itself.

The aftercare support seems very poor - and to be honest thats the bit I'm most worried about. But we need to get through the detox first.

How much are they drinking?

Will they go to AA for the every day after care? It really is excellent. Its one of the best success stories I know of and I've worked around this for years.

I don't know (although I have an idea). It's not really my business.

I don't know. I hope they'll have a plan in place by the time we get there, and I am talkimg to them about it. Everything feels scary and difficult at the moment.

I have a friend who did a 30 day residential rehab. She was drinking a bottle of wine a night. In hindsight she thinks with support a home detox would have been much better and less traumatic.
You are a great friend to support her like this.

The Librium really does help I was really surprised at how they made me feel tbh. I was expecting to carry on at work, occupational health said not a mission and having taken them, they were right - high as a kite for the first two days, but as they weaned me off them it was ok, kept me pretty mellow, not too spaced out ( but I do get very spacey on anything stronger then a paracetamol anyway ) . Once I came off that, about two months into rehab I went on to Seroxat , dealing with rehab and raw emotion without help was just too much all at once so I was on those for a few years - took longer to get off them then I actually needed them for :(

Finding a rehab does take some searching. I was lucky and referred on by the alcohol counselling service that referred me for detox . It was run by a charity so it cost me nothing However there is AA, even if you went to the priory for a detox, you would be expected to attend AA. It really is a lifeline and not every meeting is the same so if the first one they try they dont like, there will be another one somewhere else with a different vibe. Ive been to huge ones, ones with just women, in church halls, above pubs and shops, all places. Ive rubbed shoulders with the rich and famous and street sleepers . We are all in AA for the same reason

You truly are a good friend. Do encourage your friend to find a rehab or at least start attending AA.

Thank you @suki1964 thats very helpful. It’s the after care I’m most worried about. I’m not confident they’ll get what they need locally and residential seems very difficult to access.

Thank you @GrazingSheep . I have had a few times in my life when a bottle of wine a night was fairly standard! I think a lot depends on the state of mind of the person who wants to quit and the support available to them.

Name change fail!

Bluntly, there is absolutely no point doing the detox if there's no plan / commitment for some intense work afterwards eg AA / SMART recovery etc.

The detox takes the physical dependence away but that's only a tiny part of alcoholism and if they don't address the emotional / mental reasons they rely so heavily on alcohol then they'll end up right back there.

AA is everywhere, free and also has Zoom meetings on literally 24/7 so there's no excuse really apart from 'not ready to quit'

Yes I’m aware of the situation and what needs to happen afterwards. That’s a whole other thread.

The main reason you’re there is to make sure they’re ok. If they are shaking very badly, vomiting and can’t keep the meds down, have a seizure, start seeing things or become confused, you need to call an ambulance and get them to hospital. These things are very unlikely with a well planned detox but it’s just in case.

They will need bland food - ask them what they find easy to keep down during the first couple of days. They may be a bit photophobic during the first two days so audiobooks or podcasts are better than TV.
Engaging with AA or Smart recovery is a great idea towards the middle/end - they may feel too unsteady on the first day when they’ll be on the highest dose.

By day three to four they should feel much better and their appetite will come back. Good luck. You’re a good friend.

Mine wasnt residential, day only, 10 - 4 - and that was more then enough tbh, very very intense group therapy ( no where to hide in a group, always someone going to call you out )

Your friend is really going to need some follow up, seriously I wouldnt go as far as a previous poster, but the more help and resources they have, the more chance they have for staying stopped

And be prepared for them relapsing , no matter how sincere and determined they are , it will probably happen, the odds are against staying stopped are really low. I stayed stopped for 12 years , im back on the booze

I would have plenty of sweets available. At my worst, I was drinking 24/7 and up to four bottles of wine a day. It was a huge responsibility to take that on, as I was physically addicted and another seizure could have killed me.

Hallucinations are often the start of this - hearing noises, especially music, which are not there and seeing or sensing things which aren't there either.

I would set your alarm overnight to monitor that all is ok.

I've been through this a couple of times in the past and it's painful but achievable.

Thank you @HuntingoftheSnark .

What would you say was the most helpful thing people did to support you around you at this time?

@Darker Set their alarm for on the hour, every hour.

Please message me directly if you want support.

Thank you @HuntingoftheSnark … I might do nearer the time. We have a few weeks.

In terms of aftercare. Is it the alcohol/drug treatment service providing the home detox? We provide alcohol detoxes both at home and residential in my work. The detox will not be approved without a solid aftercare plan. If your friend is involved with a local service/ has a named worker they should be working on a AC plan together.

The local services offer a day programme, but they have not inspired confidence. Contact/support has been very erratic and unreliable. I am encouraging my friend to get as much support in place as they can before the detox.

I helped a close friend through home detox a while back, so I can relate. It’s intense but so important to be there for them. You might see some alcohol withdrawal symptoms like shaking, sweating, anxiety, or even confusion, which can be really hard to watch. The first few days are usually the toughest. Keeping things calm and making sure they stay hydrated helped a lot in our case. Just being a steady presence made a difference. It’s a rough process, but you’re doing a great thing by being there for them. Take care of yourself too, it can be draining.