Intense craving after weeks of calm

[myfriendsknowmyusername]

I really want a drink today, temptation is strong.

I stopped drinking in early February. I was drinking daily and it was getting out of control.again. This isn't my first rodeo, I gave up for two years (white knuckled it basically) and started drinking again in lockdown after convincing myself I could moderate if I just didn't drink wine. That didn't work out very well, I drank everything but wine.

So I've been fine, I told myself not one, not ever, NONE and it turned off the annoying moderation noise in my head. None is easier than moderation for sure.

I've had a super stressful week which has ended with some good news and boom I want to celebrate. Celebrate = Drink Alcohol.

It flicked a switch in my brain which says, 'You've done so well, you've been so good, everything is looking up you know you could just have a couple'.

No I bloody can't, why does my stupid brain do this to me. I can't have a couple because I've had too flipping many in the past and I know what happens next.

It's hard sometimes isn't it? I'm hoping with a bit more quality sober time I'll make new habits and stop associating strong feelings with alcohol. I won't be having a drink today.

You're doing brilliantly. Tell yourself you won't have a drink today but that you can tomorrow. Do something else for yourself that will feel like a reward. Telephone someone of possible and ask about their day. Add up the money you've saved from not drinking since February. Think of your liver, your skin, your health and how your body will be thanking you.

Distraction techniques. It's so common for the intense urges to appear seemingly out of nowhere. Those desires to drink are in the car park doing press ups, waiting to ambush you as you go about your happy sober life. You can see them off though.

That's how addiction works isn't it, your brain plays tricks on you. Well done for learning your lesson and not falling for it. If you deserve a treat then why not buy yourself something nice, double celebration - your good news and your ability to know when your head is playing tricks on you.

Your brain looking for a dopamine hit because it has learned that alcohol does that real quick.

Ive just watched an Amy wine house doc on prime and there was a psychologist on it talking a bit about addictions - really interesting.

Ive fallen off the horse so many times so i know how you feel. Do whatever it takes but just don’t take the first drink. We are rooting for you 🍰 🫖❤️

Thank you all ❤️ xx

Writing it down and receiving such lovely responses has calmed the nonsense.

The truth is I can't drink ever again, and I know that. But sometimes things just feel a little flat, a little dull and those well trained neurotransmitters light up and tell me now would be a great time to drink. I will continue to tell them no, tell them ill do something that really enjoyable and that the answer to their call is never going to be alcohol.

Stay strong everyone x

I’m 15 years sober and can be giddy as a goat, I find my dopamine in less harmful ways.
I did it with AA, wonderful people, lifelong friends and after the first few weeks really enjoyed the process. Don’t try and do it alone.