Stories of experiences- elderly FIL, alcoholic, DTs- major confusion

[EllieJai44]

This may be a long one but I will try to shorten as much as possible:

72yo FIL, alcoholic, been drinking since early 30's, but probably dependent on it last 10 ish years.
Last Feb admitted to hospital with tremors and high heart rate, very unwell, not been eating etc
Went through alcohol withdrawal, had the confusion, major tremors, agitation but started eating really well, was in hospital 3 weeks and came out slightly confused but better than he had been- was always obsessed with having his car keys which now we know is where he's been hiding his drink (only known this year) so we think he started drinking again in secret about 4-5 days after coming out.

Roll round to this year, noticed just before Christmas going downhill, very frail, unsteady on his feet. Come February he was having episodes of confusion that came across as dementia like and then all through March got worse and worse, lots of falls, hadn't eaten properly for over a month (that we know off, probably been longer), lost lots of weight (53kg current weight) and then GP told him to stop drinking, he didn't, was driving to get alcohol secretly so we took it all away. That was bad idea as he went through bad withdrawal.

He's 13 days post alcohol, still in hospital, but his confusion is worse than ever, he thinks he's back 40 years ago, doesn't remember people visiting or names, making up stories, seeing things that aren't there, eating imaginary dinners like doing the actions etc and is so so unsteady on his feet.

Everything we read online says the confusion should only last a few days but this is worse than it was ever before so looking for experiences of people who have had family members go through this and did they recover back to some normal capacity or was it permanent?

TIA

That’s frustrating the doctors. PALS is a good idea. I know it is awkward to make a fuss but this condition gets missed, dismissed as ‘just alcohol’ and people don’t get the right support so as a relative you need to advocate hard. I’m so sorry - it must be very worrying.

Well started the day with trying to get a doctors attention and have ended the day with him coming home tomorrow in a terrible confused state but being brought home by hospital transport and then care team coming in within 2 hours to assess him and provide care 🤷‍♀️

How are they getting him into the house, refuse to help, phone PALS and the discharge team and social worker and tell them this is an unsafe discharge and you will not be helping at all.

They have asked for a keysafe and the hospital transport will be taking him in apparently, we've said we don't think it's a good idea but because the care has been arranged then they can't do anything more, apparently he isn't needing to be in hospital but passed Physio check so deemed safe enough to be home, now having to go there this evening to sweep the house for alcohol

Are there any keys to put in the keysafe, are they expecting you to buy and install the keysafe, whose buying food, who is going to make sure he is safe at home, wo t wander off,getconfused etc. Does he gave mental capacity to agree to go home and have carers in.

Is it worth getting power of attorney or has it gone past that.Thinking of perhaps getting the ball rolling getting the houses sold so that a suitable place can be found sooner rather than later.

The unscheduled withdrawal has probably caused him permanent damage. That's why they're told never to stop drinking suddenly/go cold turkey.

He’s got ARBD - sounds identical
to my daddy - sorry for you.

They can stabilise if they stop
drinking, but their brain doesn’t recover. Either way he’s a full time care job for the rest of his life.

His life might last a lot longer than you think. Some people don’t get liver damage from drink and they end up dying from
the brain disease.

My mum had this when she had a fall in hospital - completely delirious. It does have to be managed with drugs though otherwise it can cause some damage? She was given benzodiazepine and weaned off slowly and her confusion subsided until she was back to normal. It was very scary she was convinced she was in a hotel not a hospital and everyone was out to get her.

This sounds very like my Dad. We never really got to the bottom of whether he had Wet Brain or what. Or if he’d damaged his brain during a withdrawal seizure. My mum wouldn’t tell the hospital he was a drinker so he went into unmediated withdrawal having been hospitalised for something else. Sadly he never recovered, lingered for a few weeks and then died. A terrible waste and a terrible disease.

Yes we have keys to put in there, we've had to buy the keysafe, we are gonna have to do his shopping as we are not letting him drive but otherwise no we don't think he has the capacity to make decisions, we've told doctors and nurses all this and will be telling the care staff tomorrow too 🤷‍♀️

We want it but think we are past that now unfortunately, otherwise yes we would have 100% started selling the properties to benefit him

He needs a capacity assessment, it's his home and he or someone authorised to act on his behalf has to agree to having carers in, spending his money etc. If he lacks capacity you could apply for deputyship if you want to but the hospital should have arranged a best interests meeting, someone has taken the decision to let him go home and needs to take responsibility when it fails.

This has been my experience in my family. Because they won’t even admit they’re drinkers, the person doesn’t get any of the appropriate treatment (@Evenmoretired44 - your post about what could and should be done blew my mind, because my relative with ARBD really hasn’t had much medical input at all, beyond the crisis situations when they’ve ended up in A&E. His wife doesn’t even tell anyone when he has seizures anymore. Boozing is too important).

It’s reached the point where everyone knows it’s hopeless and so they may as well both carry on drinking themselves to death.

@EllieJai44 I’m sorry you’ve been dropped in it but sadly hospitals are only too willing to kick patients out no matter how unsafe they’re going to be at home. It’s an awful situation and families are always expected to drop everything and become carers.