Alternative crutches (healthy) to alcohol

[NewtInABottle]

If you use alcohol as a crutch to deal with your real life problems, if you stop drinking then how do you cope with problems instead?

TIA

The glib answer is chocolate!

The serious answer is that alcohol does not help you “deal” with your problems. It allows you to escape from them for a couple of hours. You then have the same problems, but with an added dose of anxiety on top.

If you don’t drink, then you need to do the work of getting to the root of the issue, and finding alternative ways of soothing yourself.

It’s helpful to build a “toolkit” of alternative coping strategies: loud music, long baths, hot chocolate, walking, mindfulness, a good book.

It’s not as “easy” in the short term, but it’s worth the extra effort

Running works in a similar way, separating you from the day to day grind and giving headspace and if you are lucky an endorphin rush.

Less healthy - computer games.

I was going to say running and yoga

As the pp says, alcohol doesn’t help you ‘deal’ with anything: the problem is still there when the drink wears off. Better to try and either actually resolve the issue in some way or - if that’s not possible - work out how to accept it and live with it.

drinking doesn’t change anything. It’s just a temporary distraction, a blurring of the edges. The problem is still there when you sober up.

Having said that, there are other distractions that are less catastrophic than drinking: exercise, like running or swimming, changing your routine etc.

Running.
Also in the evening I make sure I have some nice mocktails. Or one of the trip drinks. Sounds silly but the clink of ice in the glass is soothing

I have some serious real life problems which I numbed with alcohol.

When I stopped drinking I felt so much stronger and more capable of dealing with these problems. I admit it's unsettling to face them head on instead of numbing everything, but it also feels quite empowering!

My problems are still there and won't be an overnight fix, but on a particularly stressful day, I go to bed, go into my own world listening to a podcast or music and sleep like a log usually, feeling fresh the next day ready to deal with anything life throws at me.

Learning to sit with the uncomfortable emotions. Letting them pass. From start to the peak of an emotion and back to baseline only lasts around 1 minute to 30 seconds, so I try to let the emotions come in waves and not suppress them whilst knowing they won’t last forever. “Feel it to heal it” etc.

I had a good think about what it was that I was enjoying when having that evening drink. For me it was the warm relaxed feeling and a distraction. So I replaced it with a hot water bottle, some nice non alcohol drinks and I started reading.

I had a very stressful incident this week and as evening came I felt like I really needed a drink to wind down. I took a bath instead, lit some candles and put music on.

As had as it is, I think dealing with the thing head on that is making you want to drink is the best solution.
I know it's not always possible to fix the issue but I found writing a list of the component parts of the
problem down then how to resolve / lessen/ cope with them .
So let's say you hate your job.
Why ?
Because your boss is expecting to much from you . > ask boss for a meeting , ask for a realistic time frame for work to be done , if it's shorter than you think it should be say so, tell them you need help with x project.

A colleague is been nasty / bullying. > ask them why they are speaking to you like that ( I know this is hard to do ) if the say something like "because I can / want to / you deserve it " ask them to elaborate, make them feel uncomfortable but do not get into a slanging shouting match. Tell them you do not accept their reson and walk away and hold your head high.

Not paid enough > ask if you can do more hours.
Ask if there are any training courses available that could get you a better rop / promotion.

So in total you want a list of four columns.

1 the issue

2 who to approach ( directly and additionally) ( ie if you are in debt, the company you owe and cab)

3 What the very best outcome you would like , keep this realistic but optimistic ie the bully gets a disciplinary/ the interest on your debt is stopped and a very low payment plan is put in place.

4 A outcome you can accept/ work with . The bully stops talking to you .
You can take out a very small easy to manage to pay of a chunck of the high intrest debt. only do this if you are very sure its the right thing .

While I agree with pp that things like running/ swimming/ yoga help you clear your head and give you something to do instead of drinking.
They don't solve the problem that's making you want a drink.
I realise that this list method doesn't work in every scenario but it does in a lot.
One final point , do not spend ages going over and over it . 15 mins , 30 at most . Over thinking it will just make it more of a thing.
Once you have wrote it all out , then go for a run/ swim/ yoga / read a book .

The next day look at the list again, is it still what you want ? Spend no more than 10 mins editing it.
The start putting your plan into action

I also drink through stress and it does make my stress worse whereas if I do a dry spell I find my stress levels drop dramatically (I know I should really stop drinking but I can't quite get there!). I find going for a walk or taking time for myself with a herbal tea and a good book helps me relax without alcohol. Also scrolling through sober instagram to keep me motivated and a good sleep routine.

As people said writing things down - what is the problem you are masking with alcohol? Stress, boredom, loneliness, tiredness etc etc. I feel another dry spell coming up and I'm going to try meditation in the evenings this time to quieten my mind instead of numbing it with wine.