I don't WANT to quit or cut down.

[BrassicaBabe]

I like wine.
I can afford wine.
I don't get hangovers
Wine doesn't negatively impact my relationships.
I drink only at socially acceptable times or day.
I am never inappropriate for the circumstance or occasion.
I like the way wine relaxes me at the end of the day.
I don't drink and drive.
I prefer wine as an end of day "treat" to chocolate etc.

You get it 🤣

But I drink every day and my weekly units are way beyond what is healthy.

How do you cut down/out if actually you don't WANT to?!

Skipping a long story involving professional counselling, I know I'm not an alcoholic.

Don't let that give you false comfort. The diagnosis is now alcohol use disorder (mild, moderate or severe) and if you are drinking heavily then you are at risk.

I think there’s a real misconception (in the UK at least) that being an alcoholic is some inherent spiritual state or a special gene you’re born with – whereas the fact is that alcohol is simply an addictive substance and anyone can become dependent if they drink often enough.

I was much the same. I didn’t want to stop but I knew I had to before the decision was taken away from me in one way or another.

I’m just about 2 years sober now and I love it. Even if I could drink moderately now I will never go back to it.

It takes work for me it was quit lit, immersing myself in sober community online, but it was worth it.

You might consider looking into grey area drinking or finding a grey area drinking coach.

I would certainly say I'm an alcoholic, and at the levels I was drinking, there's no way I would have had blood results like yours. Mine definitely showed liver inflammation, but short of permanent damage. I did however have enlarged red blood cells for most of my adult life, as you do, which you're right, can be a sign of potential inflammation/related to drinking. Before my liver function was impacted though (back when my results were still normal like yours), I developed a problem with my pancreatic function which is related to heavy drinking. I now have a permanently damaged pancreas and am on 6-10 tablets a day to manage that. My liver would have been the next to go if I hadn't stopped drinking.

In terms of your health, you may think you feel okay now while drinking, but you'd be amazed how good you feel when you stop. I didn't think I got hangovers either. What I realise now was that I lived in just a constant state of blergh. I wasn't hungover, but I didn't feel amazing and bright and energetic either (I thought I did, wasn't until I stopped that I realised I didn't!). I'm 4 months sober, but I look younger already. The black circles under my eyes are gone. I've lost over a stone without even trying (I'm been doing a lot of baking, eating loads of cheesecake, cakes, biscuits, etc.), but the weights come off without me paying any attention to it.

If you want to know how to do it, if it's what you want, I found an online support group/network of other (mostly women) sober people. Instead of drinking while cooking dinner, I pop on a sobriety podcast and make myself a tonic with fancy garnishes or have an AF beer. I planned in things to do besides drinking - so go out and exercise in the evening instead of staying at home and drinking, go to bed early with a book so I can get up and do an activity I enjoy, take up some new hobbies (I'm learning a language, I'm doing more of the activities I already enjoy but had little time and money for when I was spending £400 a month on alcohol!). I plan things that can't involve drinking for days when I know I might feel twitchy - dinner and shopping in a nearby city with my dd (I'm driving so can't drink), a cinema trip (similar, driving, can't drink), plan an afternoon of hiking with dh so neither of us are stuck at home where we'd be tempted to drink, etc.

I was a renal nurse for many years and the amount of people in their forties and fifties who died as a result of alcoholic liver disease is truly frightening.

The trouble is, your liver (and pancreas to a slightly lesser extent) is a very resilient organ. It has over 150 different functions and without it, you're snookered. The trouble with alcohol damage is that your liver will struggle on for a very long time without giving you any outward signs that anything is wrong. REGULARLY, i.e. more than once or twice a week, drinking over the recommended daily unit allowance is risky and doing it all the time is downright dangerous.

I know of people who have been right as ninepence one week and then they start itching, get chronic diarrohea and vomiting and go as yellow as a banana a week later. Into hospital and the bloods reveal fulminant liver failure. By that time, it is too late to do anything about it and your chances of a transplant if you have destroyed your own liver through drinking too much is less than 2%.

Seriously, cut it right back. And if you can't then cut it out. You can live without alcohol. It's not easy, but when you look at the possible alternatives, it really is a total no brainer.

I think you need to change your routine, or swap for a treat drink at least weekday evenings, something nice but non alcoholic. It is hard but there is damage likely being done that you can’t see

I'm not paying that much for a non alcoholic spirit

I know they price them high so you feel like you are making the same investment as you do with alcohol, but seriously - no

@mindutopia your reply is really inspiring! Would you mind giving the name of the sober support network? It sounds like something I would benefit from. Thank you

It's difficult but, from experience, you have to really want to stop and stick to it. There are threads on here that make grim reading - one called "the reality of the end" particularly so, and that helped to motivate me to stop (although I was on spirits, not wine).

I gave up in the end because it was affecting my life, work and future. The books "The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober" by Catherine Gray and "The Sober Diaries" by Clare Pooley are brilliant and I found them very helpful - they are well written, witty but honest and non-preachy.

Also - are you sure that you're always under the limit when driving? If you get through the best part of a 13% bottle of wine, it could be up to 19 hours from the last glass before you are actually back under the legal limit for driving. There's a calculator here - The Morning After Calculator - The Morning After | When will you be safe to drive? (morning-after.org.uk) Finding that out really frightened me - I had no idea it took that long, especially when I was feeling sober and alert.

But I know what you mean in your OP. I liked drinking and the earlier stages of being drunk. I still want that. But I really, really can't have that. It was killing me, in every way possible, so I just can't. It was a bit like a bereavement and I did grieve and mourn its loss. But I am glad that I stopped and kept off it.

Whatever you decide to do, I wish you all the best. x

Right. Today I am going tee total at least from drinking at home on my own for a while. Undecided period. But first line in the sand is until 13th sept (or a dull and random reason).

I'll allow drinking if I'm out or with company (not just DH!)

Even if I ignore the negative impact on my health it's ridiculous to moan that I can't lose weight while drinking 609 calories of alcohol each day.

Intersperse wine with glass of sparkly water. I always do this even at home. But I don’t drink much, maybe a glass or two a week.

@BrassicaBabe I have found that the trip drinks which have a little CBD in them, are great. I mean, they might be a placebo, but I feel relaxed and like I'm having a nice drink when I have one. I particularly like the elderflower and mint one, which tastes like a mojito!

Do you take medication for your ADHD

You might need to think about what you could do instead of drinking. When I stopped drinking for about 8 years I found I had an awful lot of extra time to fill!

I had to start doing other things that fulfilled my needs, eg. for rituality and emotional relaxation, that were previously met by alcohol.

I seem to be hard-wired to turn to unhelpful and harmful coping mechanisms, so have a constant battle to keep choosing healthy ones!

Thanks @HollyGolightly4 I've tried that CDB drink. Didn't feel anything. What am I missing? 🤣

@Lonicerax yes. I take Elvanse 👍

@LauderSyme I am crocheting like a loon 🤣but that's to help with my adhd fiddling/doom scrolling.

Day 1 in the bag. It was surprisingly easy. But ask me again if I have to spend any time with in-laws 🤣

This is a useful analogy you are in the early/ middle stage

https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-165-drinking-problem-stage/

Feck I'm tired today. Don't know if it's connected.

It's probably your body recovering. I was often exhausted while my body was getting over the alcohol dependence/craving/detox. It won't always be like this, honest.

Keep going; you're doing really well. x

Please give up x it’s not only cirrhosis you have to worry about x but varicesveins in the oesphagus once they start bleeding it’s very difficult to stop it.

When you drink a lot your body has to develop all sorts of counter balances so that you can still function (I’m not a Dr but when I used to drink more I felt more physically and mentally able to navigate being drunk and felt like I was running on adrenaline a lot).

Because you’re giving your body a rest it’s probably taking its guard down and finding a more normal balance.

You need to replace it with something else that will make you feel good and that you can’t do properly if you are hungover or have been drinking (see my username!) So maybe an activity, sport,hobby that you enjoyed when you were younger.This might help with the weight too!
From what I understand you can still have liver damage even if your liver enzymes are ok. Get a fibroscan done although you might have to pay for it. Replace that first glass of the evening with something else non alcoholic. A lot of it is habit.
good luck!

I see someone has also highlighted,you say you don't drink and drive,you can have a lot of alcohol still in your system quite late the following day
A friend (she had some very legitimate reasons for getting drunk, the following lunchtime, she was hit by a car on a roundabout, not her fault, breathalysed, over the limit,lost her license and her insurance rocketed. I also nursed young alcoholics,30s,40s.