So, if I go to my GP ...

[NaToth]

And tell her that I have drunk almost every day since my abusive mother died in 2016, and that I am now running at about 50 units a week, what might she do?

They'd probably suggest that you have an alcohol addiction OP. There's no magic wand solution. I'm struggling to get support for my DD. The AA is your best bet tbh. Tonnes of meetings ....pop along and go and listen to what it's about...see if what the people there say echoes with your experience and usage, take it from there. If you want help it is out there. The key question to ask yourself re: possible addiction is - are YOU really in control of the alcohol OR is the alcohol in control of YOU?
Good luck, it's a ghastly but not insurmountable disease OP. 💐

I know I'm not in control, but I'm not so far out of control that I don't know I need to do something about it if that makes sense. I'm not sure about AA though. Past experience of Al Anon suggests it might not be for me.

Is it ever worth talking to a GP, or are we on our own with this thing?

It is worth talking to your GP. He/she can refer you to the community alcohol support team. You can get help with the underlying issues that are causing you to drink excessively. Make an appointment. Good luck. You can also have a look at the Brave Babes thread in relationships where people support each other through alcohol dependency.

@NaToth .....because alcohol is a depressant (esp on the level and way that you're consuming) it becomes hard to see the wood for the trees with mental health. The GP may well prescribe antidepressants. But they do take 4-6 weeks to ramp up to effect, any alcohol your taking will impact the benefits of anti depressants. The one thing that is within your control is the alcohol intake. I'm sensing denial from your last post. AA is fundamentally different to Al Anon. Go along to an AA meeting...,what do you have to loose? It is for people that have a drink dependency not necessarily alcoholics per se. The question I think you need to ask is whether you are drinking compulsively? Are you experiencing craves to drink...a strong physical and psychological urge? These are signs of being an alcoholic. Ignore it at your peril. It's a chronic and progressive disease. Act with determination and support, you can control it. Ignore it, and the futures pretty bleak I'm afraid.

Btw recovery on NHS community support is bad....big chance of relapse. AA fellowship is far better offering lifelong support even through relapse.

Not denial at all. I feel that I had a very bad experience with Al Anon. It was also rather difficult because of the number of people in the meeting that I recognised and who recognised me. That's almost inevitable where I live. The whole thing makes me cringe 22 years on.

We know the 12 step process doesn't work for everyone. Because of that past experience, I'm afraid that it might not work for me, but I have looked at local meetings. Do you have to be there for the whole meeting?

Al Anon is for family members affected by a drinker. AA is for drinkers, but at 'open' meetings (look online) anyone can attend. There are so many AA meetings that unless you live in a remote area it's easy to just go a bit further afield. Yes, you can come and go as you please. But, honestly I think you'd feel compelled to sit and listen from beginning to end. I suggest you go online and look up the AA's "Who Me" leaflet.....see if any of that rings true for you. Alcoholics are not necessarily the image of a down and out lying under the park bench. They can be high functioning,well dressed individuals holding big jobs but still trapped under the power of needing the crutch of drink. My advice is have an open mind, don't be paralysed by shame......sort it out while you can.

For the sake of completeness, I did eventually go and see the GP, who I suspect doesn't know a lot about this stuff. She sent me for a liver function test and gave me a scrip for Sertraline, which isn't compatible with alcohol or thyroid disease.

@NaToth....I kind of sense that you were expecting the GP to wave a magic wand and treat alcoholism like back-ache or something. I'm afraid it's not like that. YOU have to take personsl responsibility and just go and access AA, Smart Recovery or similar. But it's got to come from you. The very best people to help you with your problem are these organisations and that is because they have a lot of ex addicts involved who know how your mind works, justifies, rationalises and explains......a doctor won't, a successfully recovered addict will. Stop finding reasons and excuses as to why you shouldn't go, just go and take it from there. If you're not ready to go then you haven't rock bottomed and your clearly mentally deciding you prefer to live and be a slave to the habit for a while longer.

If sertraline isn't compatible with alcohol ....isn't that a positive reason to quit? The sertraline won't work if you drink. The GP won't adjust the dose if you continue to drink. So that's the choice. If you can't quit, you are an addict and you need to access support to quit.

Listen to the Radio 5 Podcast "Hooked"

Hi NaToth

We’ve spoken on the EP board but I NC a lot

I should really go to local narcotics anonymous but worried about being recognised. So I continue with, um, try to cure myself.

Would you find the thread here helpful - is it called Brave Babes? I completely see why anonymity is needed.

If you're not ready to go then you haven't rock bottomed and your clearly mentally deciding you prefer to live and be a slave to the habit for a while longer.

That’s a bit heavy, Tinkobell. And yes, I know alcoholism is a very heavy disease. The concept of ‘rock bottom’ is controversial and doesn’t apply to everyone.

@AuntyElle....there's a general level of frankness on forums that I'd never use verbally with an addict ok. The way of speaking is very different. However the OP has already lost 3 years of her life on 50 units a week since her mum died. This saddens me, it's lost time, lost years when someone could be recovering and starting to actually live again instead of servicing a habit. It's good that OP sees this problem as a disease rather than a personal flaw...,because it is a disease and distancing herself from it will enable progress. But a vital step is taking personal responsibility and being brave enough to take those steps to bring change. The rock bottom might be a soft one, but a change in the mind, an impetus and deep deep desire for change is needed for sure or else is drags on and it does deepen.

Try SMART Recovery. Google it and see if there is a group near you. It is self referral, and totally non-judgemental. You will see a Support Worker on your own and they will ask about your drinking, how much?, when? etc etc. Progression is meeting your worker on a one to one basis at a time / date suitable for you, they may even come to your house if you would prefer. Later on, as you get stronger, group meetings are encouraged. There you meet other people with the same illness etc as you, but it may not just be alcohol they are there for, it can be for any dependent habit forming problem. I have been with SMART for over 3 years now, and not had a drink. They really are very good. PM me if you would like to have a chat or know more. Good luck - honestly, if I can do it, you can. It has to be YOU who makes the first move and hold your hand out for support and help. Be strong and brave. First step.....xx